This post will finish the discussion of the area of learning - Science, and the discussion for 3 to 4 year olds. The next time I do a post on child development we will move up to 4 to 5 year olds. This post will cover the last two components with their learning expectations and performance indicators. Remember I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS).
The next component is: Earth and Space Science. The learning expectations is: Understands sequencing and time in relation to knowledge and methods about Earth and space. The first performance indicator is: Understands the sequence of daily events. Conquering this performance indicator requires a daily routine for the child. If children have a daily routine, they will pick up the sequence of daily events. If children do not have a daily routine, there is no sequence for them to pick up. For those children life is random acts of chaos that follow one after the other. I know some people consider the sameness of following a daily routine to be maddening. However, if you work with children that is part of the program. Young children need a daily routine to learn so many different mathematical and science concepts. It does not have to be rigid, but it does have to be basically the same order of events from day to day. Think about children of long ago. Their days were measured in meals, naps, and stretches of free play. The schedule did not contain much, but it remained basically the same day after day. Those children reaped the benefits of a consistent daily schedule even though it was so simple. Today's children may or may not have meals that are consistent. Many experts are trying to do away with nap, and free play like it existed back then is extinct. We have all but lost the three basic components of a child's life in the last 30 years. Therefore, we have truly hurt a child's capacity to develop a sense of the passing of time.
The next performance indicator is: Demonstrates some understanding of duration of time, "all day," "for two days." It has been my experience that the language development of a child will determine if they conquer this particular performance indicator by 4 years old or not. Those that lag behind in language development will not conquer this one by 4 years old. Those that are behind in language development when they turn 3 years old but have good instruction during their third year usually do conquer this one by 4 years old. Those that have normal language development conquer this one easily. Language development affects all other domains of development. This is why I work so hard on language development in the preschool years. It seems all the other domains take care of themselves naturally when a child's language develops normally. However, in today's society language delay becomes more prevalent with every passing year, and this affects everything.
Now we will move on to the component - Physical Science. The learning expectation is: Solves problems in relation to knowledge and methods about energy. The first performance indicator is: Begins to participate in simple investigations to test observations, discuss and draw conclusions, and form generalizations. Wow! I do not even know where to begin with this one. I am having a hard enough time just getting 3 year olds to use enough language. Only my advanced children come even close to this one, and even with them they do not investigate without prompting. I have to plan activities to promote this type of behavior. The curiosity of childhood has been all but destroyed in today's children. By the time they are 3 years old, the majority of them expect to be entertained instead of entertaining themselves. Only the very few that have an extremely strong bent toward exploration will show this behavior on their own. Therefore, make sure you include simple science experiments in your weekly schedule. They will not get this instruction anywhere else.
The last performance indicator is: Thinks about a problem and figures what to do. I actually laughed out loud at this one. The typical response to a problem usually involves sitting in the floor and crying/wailing/hissy fit until the adult in the situation solves said problem for the child. I guess you could call that problem solving in a twisted way, but I call that being mentally lazy. I have really seen this first hand with preschools and even first and second graders when I go into schools to read my Lily books. Those books promote problem solving, and I stop in one place in the middle of Lily's Flower Igloo to ask the children how to solve Lily's problem. The responses I get can be rather amusing but some classes have so little problem solving skills that all I get are blank stares. It is like no one has ever asked them to problem solve before. I get that more than you would think. Helicopter parenting has killed this skill. If we adults would just step back and let children struggle just a little bit, we might be able to bring back the problem solving skills. Children as young as 2 years old can develop some pretty decent problem solving skills if the adults do not swoop in too fast. Children are capable of so much more than adults these days think. Give the children a little leeway, and let them start using the brain God gave them.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! https://linktr.ee/natawade
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
What Happened to the Village?
This post will look at the third point brought up by the British nanny - we have lost the village. She maintained that parent competition is the main reason for this, but it involves a whole lot more. I will look at this from an American point of view.
Have we lost the village?
The answer to that question is unequivocally yes, and parent competition does have somewhat to do with it. When I was a child, all the adults in a community banded together as a united front to some degree. If a child got in trouble at school, that news usually beat him/her home, and he/she caught it again from the parents. To say that this deterred a great amount of bad behavior would be an understatement. For me, I caught it before I ever left school because my mother worked in the school system, my father was my bus driver and my uncle was my principal. Only one time in my elementary years did I have an episode where I had to be strongly reprimanded, and I cried so hard that I made myself sick. Fast forward to the present. We just recently had an episode in our area where a kindergarten child that had been removed from the classroom and set in the hall for being disruptive simply walked out of the front door and started walking down the 4 lane highway outside of the school. A couple spotted the child and brought the child back to the school. The teacher barely escaped being fired over this situation, and all the schools in the county had to readjust all of their security measures to accommodate this scenario. What happened to the child? Absolutely nothing. There was no reprimanding of any sort. The parents blamed the school. If this had happened when I was growing up, the child would have been held accountable. Number one, a child that was so disruptive that he/she had to be removed from the classroom took a trip to the principal and the matter was settled in short order. That is no longer the case. Number two, most parents and teachers stood with each other and children were expected to know better. Now, a great deal of the time, teachers bear the blame for most everything, and we expect nothing from children.
What happened?
The village did not just one day disappear, but it diminished gradually over time. Several factors contributed to this occurrence but one book in the 1940s triggered an acceleration of the village's demise. That book was Common Sense Baby and Child Care by Dr. Benjamin Spock. That book sparked the philosophical divide that now exists on the subject of parenting and introduced the beginnings of the "best practice" movement among early childhood theorists. It took nearly 4 decades for the teachings of Dr. Spock to become the consensus. However, even now in the rural areas of some parts of the county and among conservative and fundamentalist populations, Dr. Spock is still considered a heretic. Before I dive into the philosophical divide, I want to look at some of the other factors that have contributed to the demise of the village although the philosophical divide is by far the most prevalent.
The Great Melting Pot
One of America's greatest attributes also contributes to the problem at hand. Diversity of cultures melting into the great whole has always been considered a mighty blessing of our country. However, until recently that diversity within communities and neighborhoods did not exist as it does today. Neighborhoods and small communities tended to be mostly homogenous until about the late 1980s. Children tended to grow up and stay within their home communities until the 1970s. The trend to relocate started gradually but increased massively in the late 1980s and 1990s. Now even small towns have a wide variety of cultures and backgrounds. Families no longer live close together like they used to do. This trend when added with the philosophical divide that really began to take off in the 1980s produced the death knell for the village. Proponents of celebrating diversity tend to forget the benefits of a homogenous community. When everyone in a community knows one another and all of each other's relatives and is basically on the same page philosophically, a trust builds in that community that cannot be duplicated in a diverse community. A diverse community can respect one another, but that trust to oversee each other's children does not necessarily exist. Too many differing perspectives and priorities exist, and each family pulls into itself to maintain the core philosophy and beliefs of that particular family. This is true whether or not a family is religious or not. Everyone has a core belief system. It is called their world-view. When neighborhoods and communities do not share a core belief system or world-view, the village cannot exist.
The Philosophical Divide
What started as the debate over disciplining children has escalated into so many different factions of parenting that it is hard to keep up with them all. Anyone that is a student of history and has studied church history might see some similarities between what is going on today in the parenting world with the splintering of the church into denominations. It started with one schism which led to another schism and then another and another until we are so splintered that no one can agree on anything. The debate over vaccinations has probably brought this problem more to the forefront than anything else has in a while. However, this divide is very real. We all think that we have found the perfect way to raise our children, and we do not want anyone to tell us differently. This problem is made much worse by the "best practice" culture of early childhood theorists. Many conservative or fundamentalist populations have great problems with what these early childhood theorist consider "best practice" because it follows a liberal atheistic worldview, which they do not share. However, those in power have embraced the "best practice" views and are shoving it down everyone's throat whether they agree with it or not. This only serves to further entrench the distrust among groups. Therefore, the village is dead.
Can We Bring Back the Village?
I actually do not think it is possible in today's diverse culture to bring back the village as it once existed. The village calls for homogenous communities, and homogenous communities are typically viewed as a bad thing. All we can hope for is respect among the differing views. I also would like to see the demise of the "best practice" culture. Best practice varies so widely among differing worldviews that one set of 'best practice" standards really is not feasible. We must build our own villages among those we trust and lament the end of the way it used to be because it will probably never be again. The demise of the village has been a long time in the making, and parent competition is just the very tip of the iceberg.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! https://linktr.ee/natawade
Have we lost the village?
The answer to that question is unequivocally yes, and parent competition does have somewhat to do with it. When I was a child, all the adults in a community banded together as a united front to some degree. If a child got in trouble at school, that news usually beat him/her home, and he/she caught it again from the parents. To say that this deterred a great amount of bad behavior would be an understatement. For me, I caught it before I ever left school because my mother worked in the school system, my father was my bus driver and my uncle was my principal. Only one time in my elementary years did I have an episode where I had to be strongly reprimanded, and I cried so hard that I made myself sick. Fast forward to the present. We just recently had an episode in our area where a kindergarten child that had been removed from the classroom and set in the hall for being disruptive simply walked out of the front door and started walking down the 4 lane highway outside of the school. A couple spotted the child and brought the child back to the school. The teacher barely escaped being fired over this situation, and all the schools in the county had to readjust all of their security measures to accommodate this scenario. What happened to the child? Absolutely nothing. There was no reprimanding of any sort. The parents blamed the school. If this had happened when I was growing up, the child would have been held accountable. Number one, a child that was so disruptive that he/she had to be removed from the classroom took a trip to the principal and the matter was settled in short order. That is no longer the case. Number two, most parents and teachers stood with each other and children were expected to know better. Now, a great deal of the time, teachers bear the blame for most everything, and we expect nothing from children.
What happened?
The village did not just one day disappear, but it diminished gradually over time. Several factors contributed to this occurrence but one book in the 1940s triggered an acceleration of the village's demise. That book was Common Sense Baby and Child Care by Dr. Benjamin Spock. That book sparked the philosophical divide that now exists on the subject of parenting and introduced the beginnings of the "best practice" movement among early childhood theorists. It took nearly 4 decades for the teachings of Dr. Spock to become the consensus. However, even now in the rural areas of some parts of the county and among conservative and fundamentalist populations, Dr. Spock is still considered a heretic. Before I dive into the philosophical divide, I want to look at some of the other factors that have contributed to the demise of the village although the philosophical divide is by far the most prevalent.
The Great Melting Pot
One of America's greatest attributes also contributes to the problem at hand. Diversity of cultures melting into the great whole has always been considered a mighty blessing of our country. However, until recently that diversity within communities and neighborhoods did not exist as it does today. Neighborhoods and small communities tended to be mostly homogenous until about the late 1980s. Children tended to grow up and stay within their home communities until the 1970s. The trend to relocate started gradually but increased massively in the late 1980s and 1990s. Now even small towns have a wide variety of cultures and backgrounds. Families no longer live close together like they used to do. This trend when added with the philosophical divide that really began to take off in the 1980s produced the death knell for the village. Proponents of celebrating diversity tend to forget the benefits of a homogenous community. When everyone in a community knows one another and all of each other's relatives and is basically on the same page philosophically, a trust builds in that community that cannot be duplicated in a diverse community. A diverse community can respect one another, but that trust to oversee each other's children does not necessarily exist. Too many differing perspectives and priorities exist, and each family pulls into itself to maintain the core philosophy and beliefs of that particular family. This is true whether or not a family is religious or not. Everyone has a core belief system. It is called their world-view. When neighborhoods and communities do not share a core belief system or world-view, the village cannot exist.
The Philosophical Divide
What started as the debate over disciplining children has escalated into so many different factions of parenting that it is hard to keep up with them all. Anyone that is a student of history and has studied church history might see some similarities between what is going on today in the parenting world with the splintering of the church into denominations. It started with one schism which led to another schism and then another and another until we are so splintered that no one can agree on anything. The debate over vaccinations has probably brought this problem more to the forefront than anything else has in a while. However, this divide is very real. We all think that we have found the perfect way to raise our children, and we do not want anyone to tell us differently. This problem is made much worse by the "best practice" culture of early childhood theorists. Many conservative or fundamentalist populations have great problems with what these early childhood theorist consider "best practice" because it follows a liberal atheistic worldview, which they do not share. However, those in power have embraced the "best practice" views and are shoving it down everyone's throat whether they agree with it or not. This only serves to further entrench the distrust among groups. Therefore, the village is dead.
Can We Bring Back the Village?
I actually do not think it is possible in today's diverse culture to bring back the village as it once existed. The village calls for homogenous communities, and homogenous communities are typically viewed as a bad thing. All we can hope for is respect among the differing views. I also would like to see the demise of the "best practice" culture. Best practice varies so widely among differing worldviews that one set of 'best practice" standards really is not feasible. We must build our own villages among those we trust and lament the end of the way it used to be because it will probably never be again. The demise of the village has been a long time in the making, and parent competition is just the very tip of the iceberg.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! https://linktr.ee/natawade
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Cognitive Development for 3 to 4 year olds - Science (Part 1)
This post will start the discussion for the area of learning - Science. We will look at the component - Life Science with its learning expectation and performance indicators. Remember I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS).
The learning expectation for this component is: Observes surroundings in relation to knowledge and methods about life science. The first performance indicator is: Understands new information and begins to explore more complex situations and concepts. In that learning expectation and performance indicator several words stand out to me - observe, understand, complex, and explore. All of those words make this one laughable. Most of today's American 3 to 4 year old children are far too busy having to deal with social/emotional issues to even touch any of those concepts. This might have been true 30 to 40 years ago, but even my own children's generation of the 90s had stopped exploring as much as previous generations. We on the front lines are usually far too busy trying to deal with endless hissy fits and lack of self-help skills to touch these sorts of concepts until the children are 4 to 5 years old and that is in the best of programs. Other programs still deal with the social/emotional and lack of maturity well into a child's fourth year. With the push for more science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) in school curriculum this trend of not being mature enough for science development in the preschool years might present a problem. This downward spiral of emotional issues in children has been in the works since the 1990s. That might explain why STEM concepts also declined greatly in that time period. If children cannot go more than 10 minutes in a group setting without a meltdown, the teacher cannot present a great deal of academic content. I do not blame teachers. Most of them work very hard to pull these children up and help them gain some emotional maturity and self-help skills, but the raw material these teachers are sent takes hard nasty work to get there. To add to all the other, a great deal of these children are not really potty-trained either. They do what they can with what they are given. Society as a whole and parents need to do better.
The next performance indicator is: Expands knowledge of and respect for their body and the environment. In order for children to expand knowledge, they must have a basic knowledge. When all children come through my door, one of the first orders of business involves learning body parts whether they are 18 months or 4 years old. I do believe many of the "experts" that compiled these standards would sit down and cry at how little some 4 year olds know about their own bodies. This is further compounded by how little access to free play these children have. They are sheltered from risk, and therefore, do not develop the same healthy respect for their limitations that their predecessors enjoyed. It is documented that children are injuring themselves in much higher numbers than even 10 years ago. They have no workable knowledge of their own bodies and what those bodies are capable and not capable of doing. We have "helicoptered" this particular performance indicator right out the window. A childhood without risk is a childhood without conquering this particular performance indicator. Not only does lack of risk hinder a workable knowledge of their own bodies, but it also hinders a healthy respect for their environment and the dangers of it. Children of this age have a much greater capacity for understanding the dangers of their environment than today's adults give them credit. I see it everyday with the children in my care. Children that have been with me since they were toddlers are more responsible than some elementary children I have seen. I do not shelter them from experiences and hover over them like they are made of glass. The result usually completely amazes parents and other early childhood educators that come in contact with these children. We sell children so short in the United States. Once upon a time, children survived in environments that would send regulators into spasms and children all over the world still survive these types of environments. We are actually not doing them any favors with our squeaky clean hyper-safe environments if the truth be told. We are killing their powers of observation and their ability to develop risk management.
The last performance indicator for this learning expectation is: Expands knowledge of and abilities to observe, describe, and discuss the natural world, materials, living things, and natural processes. Oh my! I will say that if you are at least laying a foundation for the children to expand, you will be doing well. Many 3 year olds lack the language skills to describe and discuss anything. I have discussed the lack of observation and exploration until I am afraid I am sounding like a broken record. Most American children have so little exposure to the natural world and actual living things, they have no point of reference. As teachers we must give them experiences with the natural world and living things and natural processes. Until the children have the experiences expanding the knowledge will not happen. Just do your best to lay the foundation amid all the other that you must do. There is no way in the little time that you have these children that you can possibly fix the lack of knowledge in which they arrive on your doorstep. All you can do is take what you are given and make the most of it. Huge societal shifts will have to occur to fix it and that is way beyond what you as a teacher are capable of doing.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! https://linktr.ee/natawade
The learning expectation for this component is: Observes surroundings in relation to knowledge and methods about life science. The first performance indicator is: Understands new information and begins to explore more complex situations and concepts. In that learning expectation and performance indicator several words stand out to me - observe, understand, complex, and explore. All of those words make this one laughable. Most of today's American 3 to 4 year old children are far too busy having to deal with social/emotional issues to even touch any of those concepts. This might have been true 30 to 40 years ago, but even my own children's generation of the 90s had stopped exploring as much as previous generations. We on the front lines are usually far too busy trying to deal with endless hissy fits and lack of self-help skills to touch these sorts of concepts until the children are 4 to 5 years old and that is in the best of programs. Other programs still deal with the social/emotional and lack of maturity well into a child's fourth year. With the push for more science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) in school curriculum this trend of not being mature enough for science development in the preschool years might present a problem. This downward spiral of emotional issues in children has been in the works since the 1990s. That might explain why STEM concepts also declined greatly in that time period. If children cannot go more than 10 minutes in a group setting without a meltdown, the teacher cannot present a great deal of academic content. I do not blame teachers. Most of them work very hard to pull these children up and help them gain some emotional maturity and self-help skills, but the raw material these teachers are sent takes hard nasty work to get there. To add to all the other, a great deal of these children are not really potty-trained either. They do what they can with what they are given. Society as a whole and parents need to do better.
The next performance indicator is: Expands knowledge of and respect for their body and the environment. In order for children to expand knowledge, they must have a basic knowledge. When all children come through my door, one of the first orders of business involves learning body parts whether they are 18 months or 4 years old. I do believe many of the "experts" that compiled these standards would sit down and cry at how little some 4 year olds know about their own bodies. This is further compounded by how little access to free play these children have. They are sheltered from risk, and therefore, do not develop the same healthy respect for their limitations that their predecessors enjoyed. It is documented that children are injuring themselves in much higher numbers than even 10 years ago. They have no workable knowledge of their own bodies and what those bodies are capable and not capable of doing. We have "helicoptered" this particular performance indicator right out the window. A childhood without risk is a childhood without conquering this particular performance indicator. Not only does lack of risk hinder a workable knowledge of their own bodies, but it also hinders a healthy respect for their environment and the dangers of it. Children of this age have a much greater capacity for understanding the dangers of their environment than today's adults give them credit. I see it everyday with the children in my care. Children that have been with me since they were toddlers are more responsible than some elementary children I have seen. I do not shelter them from experiences and hover over them like they are made of glass. The result usually completely amazes parents and other early childhood educators that come in contact with these children. We sell children so short in the United States. Once upon a time, children survived in environments that would send regulators into spasms and children all over the world still survive these types of environments. We are actually not doing them any favors with our squeaky clean hyper-safe environments if the truth be told. We are killing their powers of observation and their ability to develop risk management.
The last performance indicator for this learning expectation is: Expands knowledge of and abilities to observe, describe, and discuss the natural world, materials, living things, and natural processes. Oh my! I will say that if you are at least laying a foundation for the children to expand, you will be doing well. Many 3 year olds lack the language skills to describe and discuss anything. I have discussed the lack of observation and exploration until I am afraid I am sounding like a broken record. Most American children have so little exposure to the natural world and actual living things, they have no point of reference. As teachers we must give them experiences with the natural world and living things and natural processes. Until the children have the experiences expanding the knowledge will not happen. Just do your best to lay the foundation amid all the other that you must do. There is no way in the little time that you have these children that you can possibly fix the lack of knowledge in which they arrive on your doorstep. All you can do is take what you are given and make the most of it. Huge societal shifts will have to occur to fix it and that is way beyond what you as a teacher are capable of doing.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! https://linktr.ee/natawade
Saturday, February 7, 2015
The Cost of Lowered Expectations
This post will return to my response to the article by the British nanny on the state of American parenting. Her second point involved a lowered bar or "the everyone gets a trophy mentality." In many ways she hit the nail on the head with this one, but it must also be paired with the unrealistic expectations for prosperity among "helicopter parents" for their children. Not only have American parents passed on the idea that everything must always be fair, but they have also instilled in their children an inflated sense of worth without substance. I will tackle both of these issues.
What Is Wrong with Everyone Getting a Trophy?
On the surface this seems like a harmless way to avoid the inevitable hissy fit and temper tantrum of children that do not win. However, just like redirection postpones life lessons for toddlers that should not be postponed, this trend does the same for learning to bounce back from disappointment. Many people might call me hardhearted for that stance. How can you disappointment a little child like that? What good does it do? Well, I am about to admit something from my childhood to give you perspective. I was a horrible loser. I wailed and cried every time I did not win to the utter frustration of my mother. Had I been born in the last few years, many might have used me as a poster child for why everyone needs to get a trophy, and they would have been dead wrong. In reality I needed more practice than most to learn to deal with disappointment not the other way around. Had I been shielded from disappointment as a child, I would probably still be immature in that area at my age now. I have seen people my age where the families have shielded them from as much disappointment and other negative consequences as possible. Those people are either in jail or complete do nothings that sit on the couch and expect everyone else to take care of them. Even though it took me until my teenage years to halfway learn to be a gracious loser, I did finally learn. Unfortunately, it takes the ugly reality of disappointment to learn that lesson and nothing should be substituted for it.
Some might still say that yes disappointment is inevitable but why should little children have to suffer through it. People, take a look around. How many times have you seen a ten or twelve year old throwing a hissy fit that could rival any two year old? Even I would not have thought about throwing a hissy fit at those ages. I might have still cried when I lost but I got over my hissy fits in my early elementary years. Children do not automatically learn to be gracious losers when they reach a certain age. Plus, if this lesson is not learned early enough it morphs. The hissy fits and temper tantrums turn into vengeful, spiteful acts that can cause great harm. If you have ever been on the receiving end of the vengeful side of a millenial, you will understand what I am talking about entirely. They have never learned to think of others before acting and will jump straight to vicious when they do not get their way. It is important to learn the proper way to handle disappointment before that behavior becomes ingrained into your personality. Unlearning this behavior as an adult takes years of therapy.
The Importance of Hard Work
Another ugly by-product of the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality involves the stifling of a hard work ethic. Children learn very early that it does not take much effort to win the trophy. Therefore, why should they exert any more effort than necessary. I hope you have enough common sense to see where this is going. If you have ever had the misfortune of being the employer of young adults that grew up without having a good work ethic instilled in them, you have witnessed the very ugly side of this philosophy. I have had that misfortune. I tried everything imaginable to inspire my employees to grasp the concept of doing a good job to no avail. They felt that simply showing up for work relatively on time entitled them to their minimum wage pay. If I actually wanted more work, that would require more pay. Before those employees, I had another employee that did not see the need to show up for work when she was scheduled, and when she needed more money, she would ask for more hours. I sent all of them packing as soon as I could, but in the childcare industry especially in our state, the regulations make it very difficult to fire someone on short notice. The regulations would rather have a useless warm body than giving the employer the freedom to fire freeloaders on the spot. I no longer have employees under the age of 30 unless they have been homeschooled and/or worked on a farm.
When a child goes through life without disappointments and setbacks, that child never learns to overcome adversity. It is a proven fact that successful people understand how to turn disappointments, mistakes, and setbacks into something positive. They learn from their mistakes and grow through adversity. We should never, ever, ever shield children from disappointment and setbacks if we want them to truly become successful, functioning adults.
The Ugly Side of Self-Esteem
This brings me to the other side and untold aspect of this particular problem. When you mix shielding children from disappointment and teaching them to feel good about themselves without any reference to accomplishments, you produce the employees that I described earlier. These young adults have an inflated opinion of themselves and feel entitled to pay without effort. We should pay them for just being because they are so wonderful. This also affects school work at all levels and instills the laziness that millenials have been accused of having. Millenials become so angry when people call them lazy and yet they act just like I described. However, in their defense we created these monsters. We gave them trophies for just participating. We pushed self-esteem without any regard for earning it. We really have no right to complain about the monsters of our own creation.
How Do We Fix It?
Unfortunately for the millenials, they will have to learn the hard way unless their parents are willing to take care of them until the parents pass from this life. Then they will have to learn the hard way. I am afraid that this life lesson will be particularly painful for this age group as they realize that all the cushy jobs with all the great benefits are either becoming extinct or only available to the ones that work their butt off for them. Life will teach them if you do not work you do not eat if we the parents do not teach them that first. How much harder it is to learn that lesson in adulthood when bad habits have been allowed to take root. In trying to make their life easier, we have made it exponentially harder in the long run. When we will ever learn better? The British nanny called this one right. High expectations within reason produce good results. Low expectations produce all the things so very wrong with our society.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! https://linktr.ee/natawade
What Is Wrong with Everyone Getting a Trophy?
On the surface this seems like a harmless way to avoid the inevitable hissy fit and temper tantrum of children that do not win. However, just like redirection postpones life lessons for toddlers that should not be postponed, this trend does the same for learning to bounce back from disappointment. Many people might call me hardhearted for that stance. How can you disappointment a little child like that? What good does it do? Well, I am about to admit something from my childhood to give you perspective. I was a horrible loser. I wailed and cried every time I did not win to the utter frustration of my mother. Had I been born in the last few years, many might have used me as a poster child for why everyone needs to get a trophy, and they would have been dead wrong. In reality I needed more practice than most to learn to deal with disappointment not the other way around. Had I been shielded from disappointment as a child, I would probably still be immature in that area at my age now. I have seen people my age where the families have shielded them from as much disappointment and other negative consequences as possible. Those people are either in jail or complete do nothings that sit on the couch and expect everyone else to take care of them. Even though it took me until my teenage years to halfway learn to be a gracious loser, I did finally learn. Unfortunately, it takes the ugly reality of disappointment to learn that lesson and nothing should be substituted for it.
Some might still say that yes disappointment is inevitable but why should little children have to suffer through it. People, take a look around. How many times have you seen a ten or twelve year old throwing a hissy fit that could rival any two year old? Even I would not have thought about throwing a hissy fit at those ages. I might have still cried when I lost but I got over my hissy fits in my early elementary years. Children do not automatically learn to be gracious losers when they reach a certain age. Plus, if this lesson is not learned early enough it morphs. The hissy fits and temper tantrums turn into vengeful, spiteful acts that can cause great harm. If you have ever been on the receiving end of the vengeful side of a millenial, you will understand what I am talking about entirely. They have never learned to think of others before acting and will jump straight to vicious when they do not get their way. It is important to learn the proper way to handle disappointment before that behavior becomes ingrained into your personality. Unlearning this behavior as an adult takes years of therapy.
The Importance of Hard Work
Another ugly by-product of the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality involves the stifling of a hard work ethic. Children learn very early that it does not take much effort to win the trophy. Therefore, why should they exert any more effort than necessary. I hope you have enough common sense to see where this is going. If you have ever had the misfortune of being the employer of young adults that grew up without having a good work ethic instilled in them, you have witnessed the very ugly side of this philosophy. I have had that misfortune. I tried everything imaginable to inspire my employees to grasp the concept of doing a good job to no avail. They felt that simply showing up for work relatively on time entitled them to their minimum wage pay. If I actually wanted more work, that would require more pay. Before those employees, I had another employee that did not see the need to show up for work when she was scheduled, and when she needed more money, she would ask for more hours. I sent all of them packing as soon as I could, but in the childcare industry especially in our state, the regulations make it very difficult to fire someone on short notice. The regulations would rather have a useless warm body than giving the employer the freedom to fire freeloaders on the spot. I no longer have employees under the age of 30 unless they have been homeschooled and/or worked on a farm.
When a child goes through life without disappointments and setbacks, that child never learns to overcome adversity. It is a proven fact that successful people understand how to turn disappointments, mistakes, and setbacks into something positive. They learn from their mistakes and grow through adversity. We should never, ever, ever shield children from disappointment and setbacks if we want them to truly become successful, functioning adults.
The Ugly Side of Self-Esteem
This brings me to the other side and untold aspect of this particular problem. When you mix shielding children from disappointment and teaching them to feel good about themselves without any reference to accomplishments, you produce the employees that I described earlier. These young adults have an inflated opinion of themselves and feel entitled to pay without effort. We should pay them for just being because they are so wonderful. This also affects school work at all levels and instills the laziness that millenials have been accused of having. Millenials become so angry when people call them lazy and yet they act just like I described. However, in their defense we created these monsters. We gave them trophies for just participating. We pushed self-esteem without any regard for earning it. We really have no right to complain about the monsters of our own creation.
How Do We Fix It?
Unfortunately for the millenials, they will have to learn the hard way unless their parents are willing to take care of them until the parents pass from this life. Then they will have to learn the hard way. I am afraid that this life lesson will be particularly painful for this age group as they realize that all the cushy jobs with all the great benefits are either becoming extinct or only available to the ones that work their butt off for them. Life will teach them if you do not work you do not eat if we the parents do not teach them that first. How much harder it is to learn that lesson in adulthood when bad habits have been allowed to take root. In trying to make their life easier, we have made it exponentially harder in the long run. When we will ever learn better? The British nanny called this one right. High expectations within reason produce good results. Low expectations produce all the things so very wrong with our society.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! https://linktr.ee/natawade
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