This post will cover the concept of joy versus happiness. These two are not the same. Happiness is based on circumstances. Joy comes from inner strength. Very few adults have this difference conquered, but that does not mean that children cannot learn this lesson early in life.
The Definition of Joy
Webster defines joy as a feeling of happiness that comes from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being. Joy encompasses happiness, but happiness does not necessarily encompass joy. Let me explain. Have you ever had success at something and at first it made you very happy. Then something else came along that sucked all the happiness out of the situation. Happiness can be very fleeting. Joy, however, is more stable. You can take joy in a success even when others are trying to suck the life out of your success. I had this happen when I was submitting my first book for publication. I was so excited about publishing my first book that I was nearly beside myself. Then someone came along and squashed all my happiness with a few snarky remarks. They made me doubt my good fortune, and thus stole my happiness. I had to rise above the snarky remarks in order to have joy in the situation.
Happiness Junkies
Our culture is absolutely chalked full of happiness junkies. They search after happiness not understanding that happiness can be a very fickle emotion. Happiness very much depends on having everything going your way. When suddenly something does not go your way, happiness disappears as suddenly as it came. It is very easy to get sucked into this trap. On a daily basis everyone has good and bad happen. It's part of life. When the good happens, we feel elated. When the bad happens, it makes it seem like the good never existed. I remember one day in particular that happened a couple of years ago. I received four different bits of really good news. Any one of these would have been enough to put me in a very good mood for days. Then later that day I had to deal with a very ugly parent episode at my childcare. That episode sucked all the life out of me and made my four pieces of good news seem like nothing. I relied on happiness instead of letting joy be my anchor that day, and I paid for it.
A Sense of Well-being
What exactly makes joy more lasting than happiness? I think we can find the key in the last phrase of the Webster definition. It is a "sense of well-being." However, it goes deeper than that. I would phrase more as a "sense that everything will be okay and work itself out in the end." For Christians it very much comes down to Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose (NASB)." We have this great sense that all things are working toward a greater good and purpose in our lives. We accept the bad as lessons to be learned and try to use them to become better people. We take joy in our lives because it is based on something beyond just our temporal experiences. It can feel as strong as happiness at times. At other times it is like this constant flow of goodness that we cling to in order to maintain. Thus, joy can be experienced when it seems the world is collapsing around you. Happiness cannot do that for you.
True Success
How do we translate this into the world of toddlers and preschoolers? First of all, we teach the children about true success. Children that are handed everything on a platter will never experience anything beyond happiness and that might be very fleeting at times. Children that have to work for their successes will learn the joy of a job well done early in life. Therefore, do not be quick to step in and do things for children if they are capable of doing them. It is okay to let a child flounder for a while. It builds resilience in that child. Nothing beats the look on a child's face when they finally conquer something they have struggled with for a long time. That is pure joy.
Count Their Blessings
Secondly, we teach children to count their blessings. Again, children that are handed everything on a platter never truly appreciate anything. Therefore, it is okay to make a child do without. I am not talking about life necessities like food, water, and shelter. I am talking about all other material things that are not necessities of life. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a child is make them work for the things they want rather than just having everything given to them. If that child is not willing to work for that special something, that child can do without it. It will not kill them contrary to popular belief. When that child has to work to acquire that special something, I guarantee that child will take more joy in it and will take better care of it because the child will have a sense of what it is worth.
A Loving God
Lastly, teach them about a loving God that does cause all things to work together for the good. When a child sees an adult that truly believes this and lives by this, then that child will grow up with a greater sense of overall well-being. The one lesson I pray is my legacy to my children and grandchildren is that my God has never failed me. We have lived through some hard, hard times but we made it and did okay because God always provided what we needed. We may not have gotten all we wanted, but He never failed to provide what we need.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Saturday, October 26, 2013
What You Need to Know about Whole Language
This post will present basic information about the whole language approach to reading instruction. More importantly, it will present information about how this philosophy of reading instruction is embedded into the scales used for assessment purposes and the instruction most ECE students receive on preliteracy instruction. It is my intention to help people in the ECE community to become knowledgeable about the various methods of reading instruction now used in this country.
What Is Whole Language
My post last weekend gave a brief history of the introduction of the whole language method of reading instruction in the mid 20th century. This post will deal more with the practicalities of the implementation of this method. In a nutshell, whole language instruction teaches children to memorize how a word looks. Sometimes it is coupled with learning the initial sounds of words, but children are taught to figure out words using various clues rather than decoding a word according to its sounds. These clues include using the illustrations for beginners. Later children are taught to use the context to try to decipher the word. All of these methods require the child to have some exposure to a word in order to be able to use it. A completely unfamiliar word must be taught in order to give the child enough exposure to understand it as a choice. Many people are familiar with "popcorn" words in kindergarten and first grade. Children are taught to recognize these words by sight to give them a repertoire of words to choose from when first beginning to read.
Sight Words
In all fairness, there are about 10% of words that must be learned by this method. Even systematic phonics reading instruction methods have sight words. Many of these words are of French or nonLatin based origin and do not follow the same rules as words that are Latin based. Names of colors, days, months, and even people also fall into this category sometimes. However 90% of our language can be decoded using basic phonics rules. The whole language method uses the method necessary for 10% of our language to read the other 90%.
The Problems with this Method
What are the problems associated with using the whole language method? I have already touched on one of them. A child must have exposure with a word either orally or in reading experiences in order to choose it as a possible option for the word they are trying to read. This is not the case when children are taught using systematic phonics. When decoding a word, a child will be able to read many words they have never heard before. As a teacher, you will simply need to give them a definition for the new word in order for them to proceed. Children using the whole language method are limited to their known language base. Another significant problem with the whole language method involves children who are not visual learners. Many times children are expected to memorize a word after only a few exposures. Visual learners have no trouble with this. Children that are not visual learners struggle. This is especially true when the children move beyond the point where illustrations can be used as a clue. This is why American children taught using the whole language method struggle so much with reading beyond the 3rd grade level.
Labeling
Now let us take this into the early childhood world. Many, many of the practices surrounding teaching preliteracy skills revolve around preparing the children for learning to read using the whole language method rather than the phonics method. Let me explain. We are taught to label everything in the classroom. Why are we told to do this? To give children the exposure to what these words look like as much as possible before they enter school. This is to give children that are not visual learners a head start on noticing the shapes of words and the letters in those words. However, I will tell you that the children this technique targets are not benefitted. Most of the time these children do not move beyond considering these labels as decorations before they enter school unless the teacher spends extensive time pointing out these words. The children that benefit from this technique are the visual learners. They will get a leg up on school readiness.
Pointing at Words as You Read
Another practice imposed on early childhood professionals that is meant to prepare children for the whole language method is pointing at words as you read a book to children. Again, this technique is meant to help the nonvisual learners gain exposure to what the words look like, and again it benefits the visual learners. Nonvisual learners need the sounds of language in order for those symbols on the page to make any sense. The phonics method of instruction helps nonvisual learners make sense of the symbols because they are attached to sounds. The children can grab onto the sounds first if need be, and then they process the symbols according to the sounds. Visual learners process phonics the opposite way. They take the symbols as their processing point, and then apply the sounds. Phonics is the only method that allows this dual processing. Whole language cannot be processed the opposite way.
Alliteration and Rhyming
I want to touch on two other preliteracy teaching techniques that actually can be used for both teaching methods. They are alliteration and rhyming. Alliteration involves teaching children to notice words that start with the same sound. Rhyming involves teaching children to notice words that end with the same sounds. These two activities help the auditory learners the most. Many visual learners will struggle with these two activities because they are sound based. However, if these two activities are used for the whole language process, the auditory learner will still run into the same problems I have outlined above. When these two activities are coupled with the phonics method, the auditory learner receives a leg up on school readiness. In case you did not know this, some children do not learn alliteration and rhyming until they learn to read. Some children that are very dominant visual learners have to see that the word starts or ends with the same letters or combination of letters.
Access to Books
The last topic I want to discuss deals with the requirements for access to books in the early childhood environment. The proponents of whole language want children to see written words as much as possible before they enter school. The book requirements have other intentions as well especially those dealing with cultural awareness, but that has to do with the pictures. Again, this method helps visual learners only. Auditory learners may be able to "quote" familiar books using the pictures, but I guarantee the written words are merely decorations to these children. This does not give auditory learners any help in decoding the words. The more dominant a child's dependence on auditory learning, the more likely that child benefits little from this type of exposure.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
What Is Whole Language
My post last weekend gave a brief history of the introduction of the whole language method of reading instruction in the mid 20th century. This post will deal more with the practicalities of the implementation of this method. In a nutshell, whole language instruction teaches children to memorize how a word looks. Sometimes it is coupled with learning the initial sounds of words, but children are taught to figure out words using various clues rather than decoding a word according to its sounds. These clues include using the illustrations for beginners. Later children are taught to use the context to try to decipher the word. All of these methods require the child to have some exposure to a word in order to be able to use it. A completely unfamiliar word must be taught in order to give the child enough exposure to understand it as a choice. Many people are familiar with "popcorn" words in kindergarten and first grade. Children are taught to recognize these words by sight to give them a repertoire of words to choose from when first beginning to read.
Sight Words
In all fairness, there are about 10% of words that must be learned by this method. Even systematic phonics reading instruction methods have sight words. Many of these words are of French or nonLatin based origin and do not follow the same rules as words that are Latin based. Names of colors, days, months, and even people also fall into this category sometimes. However 90% of our language can be decoded using basic phonics rules. The whole language method uses the method necessary for 10% of our language to read the other 90%.
The Problems with this Method
What are the problems associated with using the whole language method? I have already touched on one of them. A child must have exposure with a word either orally or in reading experiences in order to choose it as a possible option for the word they are trying to read. This is not the case when children are taught using systematic phonics. When decoding a word, a child will be able to read many words they have never heard before. As a teacher, you will simply need to give them a definition for the new word in order for them to proceed. Children using the whole language method are limited to their known language base. Another significant problem with the whole language method involves children who are not visual learners. Many times children are expected to memorize a word after only a few exposures. Visual learners have no trouble with this. Children that are not visual learners struggle. This is especially true when the children move beyond the point where illustrations can be used as a clue. This is why American children taught using the whole language method struggle so much with reading beyond the 3rd grade level.
Labeling
Now let us take this into the early childhood world. Many, many of the practices surrounding teaching preliteracy skills revolve around preparing the children for learning to read using the whole language method rather than the phonics method. Let me explain. We are taught to label everything in the classroom. Why are we told to do this? To give children the exposure to what these words look like as much as possible before they enter school. This is to give children that are not visual learners a head start on noticing the shapes of words and the letters in those words. However, I will tell you that the children this technique targets are not benefitted. Most of the time these children do not move beyond considering these labels as decorations before they enter school unless the teacher spends extensive time pointing out these words. The children that benefit from this technique are the visual learners. They will get a leg up on school readiness.
Pointing at Words as You Read
Another practice imposed on early childhood professionals that is meant to prepare children for the whole language method is pointing at words as you read a book to children. Again, this technique is meant to help the nonvisual learners gain exposure to what the words look like, and again it benefits the visual learners. Nonvisual learners need the sounds of language in order for those symbols on the page to make any sense. The phonics method of instruction helps nonvisual learners make sense of the symbols because they are attached to sounds. The children can grab onto the sounds first if need be, and then they process the symbols according to the sounds. Visual learners process phonics the opposite way. They take the symbols as their processing point, and then apply the sounds. Phonics is the only method that allows this dual processing. Whole language cannot be processed the opposite way.
Alliteration and Rhyming
I want to touch on two other preliteracy teaching techniques that actually can be used for both teaching methods. They are alliteration and rhyming. Alliteration involves teaching children to notice words that start with the same sound. Rhyming involves teaching children to notice words that end with the same sounds. These two activities help the auditory learners the most. Many visual learners will struggle with these two activities because they are sound based. However, if these two activities are used for the whole language process, the auditory learner will still run into the same problems I have outlined above. When these two activities are coupled with the phonics method, the auditory learner receives a leg up on school readiness. In case you did not know this, some children do not learn alliteration and rhyming until they learn to read. Some children that are very dominant visual learners have to see that the word starts or ends with the same letters or combination of letters.
Access to Books
The last topic I want to discuss deals with the requirements for access to books in the early childhood environment. The proponents of whole language want children to see written words as much as possible before they enter school. The book requirements have other intentions as well especially those dealing with cultural awareness, but that has to do with the pictures. Again, this method helps visual learners only. Auditory learners may be able to "quote" familiar books using the pictures, but I guarantee the written words are merely decorations to these children. This does not give auditory learners any help in decoding the words. The more dominant a child's dependence on auditory learning, the more likely that child benefits little from this type of exposure.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Teaching Children to Be Merciful
This post will deal with the somewhat daunting task of teaching children to be merciful in a very cutthroat society. It amazes me at times how unmerciful American people can be. This is especially true if you cross their politics. Children pick up on this hostility much more than the adults in their lives can ever realize. Like every other character trait I have covered, adults must model mercy if they want children to learn to be merciful.
The Definition of Mercy
Webster has a wide range of definitions for mercy, but I am going to zero in on this one: compassion shown to an offender. I chose this one because this is the one our society struggles with the most. We throw the book at people who make mistakes. We often act like we never make mistakes, and therefore have zero tolerance for anyone who does. Don't believe me? Try admitting a mistake in front of some colleagues or even worse your fellow church members, and see how fast that turns into an ugly episode for you. Granted not everyone is like that, but there are enough people with this tendency that in any given group, there will be one to spread your failures like wildfire. The early childhood community is even worse than fellow church members. Admitting a mistake is to admit being unprofessional for two seconds, and that could cost you your business. Just ask anyone that has been on the receiving end of the Department of Human Services or the Department of Children's Services. They give absolute new meaning to the word "vicious."
Does Professionalism Breed Viciousness?
What is it about our society that breeds such viciousness? I actually believe that is an ugly byproduct of our society's overemphasis on professionalism. We are a success oriented society. We believe that we should always go from one success to the next big thing. To have failure is unacceptable. Don't believe me? Just listen to how business people talk when they discuss long-term plans. In the business world profits should constantly increase from year to year, and if they do not, heads will roll. Every aspect of our society has fallen prey to this philosophy. Test scores in schools should always go up from year to year. People should become more productive in their jobs from year to year. We are trained to be professionals, and that really does not leave us much room for error. However, life just does not function according to that theory, and when life happens, people fall into despair because of their absolutely unrealistic expectations. When life happens to other people, we have to rationalize why that will not happen to us in order to keep up the appearance of being a professional. This causes us to be people with no mercy.
Child Care Robots
There may be many other reasons for the lack of mercy in our society, but in the early childhood world, this is the biggest underlying cause of being unmerciful. One of my friends once described the effects of "professionalism" on child care providers as turning us into child care robots. He hit the nail on the head. Any field that deals with human beings cannot be anything but messy and unpredictable. It is impossible for child care to be neat and precise. We are imperfect human beings trying to raise imperfect human beings. It gets messy and complicated. Of all the professions in the world, child care providers should be given the most slack, and yet, they are given the least. The same can also be said of parents. The funny thing is that these two groups afford each other the least mercy.
Everyone Is Imperfect
How does one become a merciful person? The first step is to acknowledge that all people are imperfect. We are all capable of making huge mistakes. Before you start throwing dirt in a person's direction, take a good look at yourself and acknowledge that you are just as capable of doing wrong. It may be a different wrong, but all wrong hurts someone. That person's wrong may have just hurt more people or done more damage. When we acknowledge our shortcomings, the level of our viciousness toward each other decreases. Humility breeds mercy. The second step is to lay aside spitefulness and vengeance. When we leave vengeance and spitefulness alone, we give each other much more room to learn from our mistakes. In other words, we cut each other slack. People need room to grow and develop. We have to make mistakes to learn some lessons. If we are constantly holding everything against everybody, nobody ever truly grows up. We just all live behind masks terrified someone will actually figure out who we truly are. Sadly, that describes so many American people. Now can you see why overemphasis on professionalism has a very ugly side.
Cut Each Other Some Slack
Now let's take this into the early childhood realm. Children learn to relate to one another through experiences and watching adults relate to one another. If we want to raise merciful children, they must see us cut each other slack. They must come to realize that no one is perfect, and we have no right to expect anyone to be perfect. We do this through teaching and modeling combined. If all we do is teach it without modeling it, we are teaching them to be hypocrites. If all we do is model it without explaining it, they do not truly grasp the concept. We have to help them see how to be merciful in the situations that arise in their lives. Use teachable moments to bring this point home. Above all, watch what you discuss with other adults in front of children. They may not understand the subject matter of what you are discussing, but they will pick up on your attitudes. If you are gossiping, bashing other people (even politicians are people, too), or going off about a situation, the children listening to your conversation are learning about the adult world from you. Be careful what you teach them!!
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
The Definition of Mercy
Webster has a wide range of definitions for mercy, but I am going to zero in on this one: compassion shown to an offender. I chose this one because this is the one our society struggles with the most. We throw the book at people who make mistakes. We often act like we never make mistakes, and therefore have zero tolerance for anyone who does. Don't believe me? Try admitting a mistake in front of some colleagues or even worse your fellow church members, and see how fast that turns into an ugly episode for you. Granted not everyone is like that, but there are enough people with this tendency that in any given group, there will be one to spread your failures like wildfire. The early childhood community is even worse than fellow church members. Admitting a mistake is to admit being unprofessional for two seconds, and that could cost you your business. Just ask anyone that has been on the receiving end of the Department of Human Services or the Department of Children's Services. They give absolute new meaning to the word "vicious."
Does Professionalism Breed Viciousness?
What is it about our society that breeds such viciousness? I actually believe that is an ugly byproduct of our society's overemphasis on professionalism. We are a success oriented society. We believe that we should always go from one success to the next big thing. To have failure is unacceptable. Don't believe me? Just listen to how business people talk when they discuss long-term plans. In the business world profits should constantly increase from year to year, and if they do not, heads will roll. Every aspect of our society has fallen prey to this philosophy. Test scores in schools should always go up from year to year. People should become more productive in their jobs from year to year. We are trained to be professionals, and that really does not leave us much room for error. However, life just does not function according to that theory, and when life happens, people fall into despair because of their absolutely unrealistic expectations. When life happens to other people, we have to rationalize why that will not happen to us in order to keep up the appearance of being a professional. This causes us to be people with no mercy.
Child Care Robots
There may be many other reasons for the lack of mercy in our society, but in the early childhood world, this is the biggest underlying cause of being unmerciful. One of my friends once described the effects of "professionalism" on child care providers as turning us into child care robots. He hit the nail on the head. Any field that deals with human beings cannot be anything but messy and unpredictable. It is impossible for child care to be neat and precise. We are imperfect human beings trying to raise imperfect human beings. It gets messy and complicated. Of all the professions in the world, child care providers should be given the most slack, and yet, they are given the least. The same can also be said of parents. The funny thing is that these two groups afford each other the least mercy.
Everyone Is Imperfect
How does one become a merciful person? The first step is to acknowledge that all people are imperfect. We are all capable of making huge mistakes. Before you start throwing dirt in a person's direction, take a good look at yourself and acknowledge that you are just as capable of doing wrong. It may be a different wrong, but all wrong hurts someone. That person's wrong may have just hurt more people or done more damage. When we acknowledge our shortcomings, the level of our viciousness toward each other decreases. Humility breeds mercy. The second step is to lay aside spitefulness and vengeance. When we leave vengeance and spitefulness alone, we give each other much more room to learn from our mistakes. In other words, we cut each other slack. People need room to grow and develop. We have to make mistakes to learn some lessons. If we are constantly holding everything against everybody, nobody ever truly grows up. We just all live behind masks terrified someone will actually figure out who we truly are. Sadly, that describes so many American people. Now can you see why overemphasis on professionalism has a very ugly side.
Cut Each Other Some Slack
Now let's take this into the early childhood realm. Children learn to relate to one another through experiences and watching adults relate to one another. If we want to raise merciful children, they must see us cut each other slack. They must come to realize that no one is perfect, and we have no right to expect anyone to be perfect. We do this through teaching and modeling combined. If all we do is teach it without modeling it, we are teaching them to be hypocrites. If all we do is model it without explaining it, they do not truly grasp the concept. We have to help them see how to be merciful in the situations that arise in their lives. Use teachable moments to bring this point home. Above all, watch what you discuss with other adults in front of children. They may not understand the subject matter of what you are discussing, but they will pick up on your attitudes. If you are gossiping, bashing other people (even politicians are people, too), or going off about a situation, the children listening to your conversation are learning about the adult world from you. Be careful what you teach them!!
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Saturday, October 19, 2013
An Introduction to the Reading Wars.
This post will deal with the great debate that has taken place in the educational world over how to teach reading. Even though early childhood professionals do not teach reading per se, they do lay the foundation for future reading instruction. Therefore, it is just as important for early childhood professionals to be knowledgeable on this subject as well.
Whole Language vs. Phonics
Most reading instruction in the United States falls into one of two camps or a combination of both camps. One camp consists of those who follow the whole language method of reading instruction. The other camp involves those who follow a phonics based approach to reading instruction. These two approaches to reading instruction are very different from one another.
Whole Language
The whole language approach to reading involves memorizing words by how they look. This approach really took hold during the time of the "Dick and Jane" series of readers. It is based on the precept that learning to read English should follow the same method as learning to read languages like Chinese that have no phonetic base in the written language. It came to prominence at a time when the Western world had developed a fascination with all things oriental. Oriental written languages have pictographs instead of letters for words. Oriental children must learn the pictograph for each individual word in order to read in these languages. Many people of the early 1900s considered this to be an educational advantage for the oriental people. This belief trickled down into the educational philosophy of the day causing the educational establishment to shift away from a more phonetic form of reading instruction. It is also called the "look, say" method.
Phonics Based Approach
The phonics based approach to reading actually predates the whole language method by centuries. Until the advent of the whole language approach, teaching children to sound out words by the letter sounds was the only way children learned to read all phonetic based languages. English along with most languages of Europe and the Middle East follow a system of letters that were derived from Ancient Greek and then Latin. The parts of the world that fell under the influence of these two empires embraced written forms of languages that followed certain rules as to the sounds associated with certain letters. This is what is meant by a phonics based language. Around the time of the advent of the whole language movement, phonics based instruction came under scrutiny because of the difficulties it posed for hearing impaired children. Since the "look, say" method of instruction worked better for hearing impaired children, all children were tranferred to this method of reading instruction over the next several decades.
Dr. Jean Chall
Then along came Dr. Jean Chall. In the mid 1960s Dr. Chall released a book entitled The Stages of Reading Development. This book laid out the case for the return of reading instruction to a more phonics based system. Not only did it make the case for phonics, but Dr. Chall also made the case for systematic phonics instructions as opposed to random phonics instruction. This book caused quite an uproar in the educational establishment, which had basically wholeheartedly embraced whole language instruction by this time. Thus, the reading wars began. A schism developed from this point between public schools and private schools. Most of the public schools in the United States rejected Dr. Chall out of hand and continued to teach reading through the whole language method. Many of the private schools embraced Dr. Chall and began to switch their curriculum to a systematic phonics based instruction. When the homeschooling movement began to take off in the late 1980s and early 1990s, many of these parents embraced the systematic phonics instruction method of reading as well. Around the mid 1990s phonics instruction began to gain popularity again because of the schism that began to be apparent between the reading levels of public school children and private/homeschool children. However, the educational establishment fought back vehemently against the return to a more phonics based approach to reading. They attributed the higher reading levels among private/homeschool children to the fact that most of the time these children tend to be more affluent. They argued that poorer children from disadvantaged backgrounds could not handle the rigors of learning to read through phonics. What developed from this time was a hybrid of both methods of instruction, which varies from school system to school system and state to state. However, most of the phonics instruction in the hybrid versions is random instruction and not the systematic phonics instruction that is still used widely among private/homeschool teachers.
Whole Language in Preliteracy Training
What does all this have to do with preschool teachers and child care providers? When I began to take early childhood classes, I had 13 years of homeschooling experience under my belt. I recognized right away that all of the preliteracy training I was receiving followed the whole language method of reading instruction. The phonics instruction my children received in preschool and kindergarten was considered developmentally inappropriate. Many early childhood professionals do not even know the difference. They have no idea that all the training they have received for developing early reading skills in children completely ignores an entire field of thought on reading instruction. Now, with the push for more academic instruction in the preschool years, the "experts" are again fighting back hard against anything that resembles phonics based instruction in preschool. They are once again using the excuse that poor children from disadvantaged backgrounds cannot handle the rigors of phonics based instruction.
The Research for Phonics
Over the next month or so for these weekend posts, I will be looking at the research behind the renewed interest in once again moving toward a more phonics based method of reading and how to incorporate that into the preschool setting. This post has served as your history lesson on the subject. We have a phonics based language. Common sense tells us we should use a phonics based reading program to teach our children to read. One of these days, common sense will actually win the day, maybe.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Whole Language vs. Phonics
Most reading instruction in the United States falls into one of two camps or a combination of both camps. One camp consists of those who follow the whole language method of reading instruction. The other camp involves those who follow a phonics based approach to reading instruction. These two approaches to reading instruction are very different from one another.
Whole Language
The whole language approach to reading involves memorizing words by how they look. This approach really took hold during the time of the "Dick and Jane" series of readers. It is based on the precept that learning to read English should follow the same method as learning to read languages like Chinese that have no phonetic base in the written language. It came to prominence at a time when the Western world had developed a fascination with all things oriental. Oriental written languages have pictographs instead of letters for words. Oriental children must learn the pictograph for each individual word in order to read in these languages. Many people of the early 1900s considered this to be an educational advantage for the oriental people. This belief trickled down into the educational philosophy of the day causing the educational establishment to shift away from a more phonetic form of reading instruction. It is also called the "look, say" method.
Phonics Based Approach
The phonics based approach to reading actually predates the whole language method by centuries. Until the advent of the whole language approach, teaching children to sound out words by the letter sounds was the only way children learned to read all phonetic based languages. English along with most languages of Europe and the Middle East follow a system of letters that were derived from Ancient Greek and then Latin. The parts of the world that fell under the influence of these two empires embraced written forms of languages that followed certain rules as to the sounds associated with certain letters. This is what is meant by a phonics based language. Around the time of the advent of the whole language movement, phonics based instruction came under scrutiny because of the difficulties it posed for hearing impaired children. Since the "look, say" method of instruction worked better for hearing impaired children, all children were tranferred to this method of reading instruction over the next several decades.
Dr. Jean Chall
Then along came Dr. Jean Chall. In the mid 1960s Dr. Chall released a book entitled The Stages of Reading Development. This book laid out the case for the return of reading instruction to a more phonics based system. Not only did it make the case for phonics, but Dr. Chall also made the case for systematic phonics instructions as opposed to random phonics instruction. This book caused quite an uproar in the educational establishment, which had basically wholeheartedly embraced whole language instruction by this time. Thus, the reading wars began. A schism developed from this point between public schools and private schools. Most of the public schools in the United States rejected Dr. Chall out of hand and continued to teach reading through the whole language method. Many of the private schools embraced Dr. Chall and began to switch their curriculum to a systematic phonics based instruction. When the homeschooling movement began to take off in the late 1980s and early 1990s, many of these parents embraced the systematic phonics instruction method of reading as well. Around the mid 1990s phonics instruction began to gain popularity again because of the schism that began to be apparent between the reading levels of public school children and private/homeschool children. However, the educational establishment fought back vehemently against the return to a more phonics based approach to reading. They attributed the higher reading levels among private/homeschool children to the fact that most of the time these children tend to be more affluent. They argued that poorer children from disadvantaged backgrounds could not handle the rigors of learning to read through phonics. What developed from this time was a hybrid of both methods of instruction, which varies from school system to school system and state to state. However, most of the phonics instruction in the hybrid versions is random instruction and not the systematic phonics instruction that is still used widely among private/homeschool teachers.
Whole Language in Preliteracy Training
What does all this have to do with preschool teachers and child care providers? When I began to take early childhood classes, I had 13 years of homeschooling experience under my belt. I recognized right away that all of the preliteracy training I was receiving followed the whole language method of reading instruction. The phonics instruction my children received in preschool and kindergarten was considered developmentally inappropriate. Many early childhood professionals do not even know the difference. They have no idea that all the training they have received for developing early reading skills in children completely ignores an entire field of thought on reading instruction. Now, with the push for more academic instruction in the preschool years, the "experts" are again fighting back hard against anything that resembles phonics based instruction in preschool. They are once again using the excuse that poor children from disadvantaged backgrounds cannot handle the rigors of phonics based instruction.
The Research for Phonics
Over the next month or so for these weekend posts, I will be looking at the research behind the renewed interest in once again moving toward a more phonics based method of reading and how to incorporate that into the preschool setting. This post has served as your history lesson on the subject. We have a phonics based language. Common sense tells us we should use a phonics based reading program to teach our children to read. One of these days, common sense will actually win the day, maybe.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Teaching Children to Be Responsible
This post will deal with the task of teaching children to be responsible not only in terms of their duties, but also in terms of their actions. Our society has raised at least one generation that does not take responsibility for either of these aspects. We need desperately to raise the next generation to be hardworking individuals who understand they must take responsibility for their own actions.
The Definition of Responsible
Webster lists four different definitions for responsible. They are as follows: (1) liable to be called upon to answer for one's acts or decisions: answerable. (2) able to fulfill one's obligations: reliable, trustworthy. (3) able to choose for oneself between right and wrong. (4) involving accountability or important duties. We will look at all four definitions.
Being Answerable
The first definition deals with being answerable for one's acts and/or decisions. Oh my word, this one's presence in our present society is nearly laughable. In this society everything is the other guy's fault. To find an adult that actually makes himself/herself answerable for his/her actions or decisions is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. These people do exist, but they usually have the book thrown at them if they dare to admit a mistake or failure. It makes people in this society extremely uncomfortable to be around someone that believes we should answer for our actions and decisions. However, they want everyone else to answer for everything. We live in a country with very little mercy for others because of our lack of answerability for our own actions and decisions. Lack of answerability has widespread consequences in a society. We are presently living with those consequences, and if we do not work to correct it, it will mean the decline of our nation into obscurity. However, I see no break in the mantra that no one is to blame for their actions because of the belief that we are solely products of our environments instead of being people with free will. We must begin to scream at the top of our lungs that people must be answerable for their own actions and decisions. We must begin to be honest with ourselves about the messes in which we find ourselves and quit trying to get everyone else to fix them. We make our choices, and whether we like it or not, we live with the consequences. It is built into the universe, and we cannot change it.
Fulfilling Obligations
The second definition involves fulfilling one's obligations. I have already written an article on being reliable and trustworthy. However, I will touch on it again here. Obligation has become a dirty word in our society. Whether we like to admit or not, we often look at obligations as options rather than as responsibilities. Gone are the days when a person would fulfill their obligations even if it meant doing without. We are just not a society that does without anything. This is why our nation has a debt crisis. Number one, we need to learn as a society to be slow to make obligations if we want to be able to start fulfilling our obligations. Because we look at them as options, we often do not truly weigh out the pros and cons of promises before we make them. In nearly everything, we half look before we leap, and then when the promise goes south, we blame everyone else for not being able to fulfill our obligations. Number two, when we do make obligations even on a whim, we need to learn to follow through with it even if it is painful. This will teach us to follow suggestion number one.
Choosing Between Right and Wrong
Definition number three presents a true conundrum for our society. In order to be able to choose between right and wrong, one has to believe that a right and wrong answer actually exists. Otherwise we are simply choosing between shades of gray. I have said it before, and I say it again. Relativism will be the demise of this society unless we again begin to teach our children the difference between right and wrong.
Accountability
The last definition covers the aspect of accountability. Again, as with every other aspect of responsibility, our society does a very poor job with accountability. We do not live our lives as if we will give an account for the things we have done and the decisions we make. However, if we are to become a responsible society once again, we will have to live our lives that way. For those of us who are Christian, we understand that we will one day stand before our Maker and give an account of our lives. Sometimes even we that know this, still do not live our lives as if we will give an accounting. The attitude of being accountable for everything is the cornerstone of being a responsible person. When we believe that our day-to-day actions will be judged as to their merit, it changes how we approach everything. It becomes much easier to put more effort into our duties and decisions because the consequences are never far from our mind. We know and understand that all we do has importance even if it is just a very small detail. This knowledge transforms us into responsible adults.
The Power of Consequences
How does this translate into the early childhood realm? We must teach children that there are consequences for their actions. We must resist the urge to save them from the consequences of their actions in order for them to learn about these consequences. The early childhood world has become obsessed with making childhood magical and completely free from harm. That is both dangerous and completely impractical. Children will never learn to be responsible if they never learn about consequences.
The Power of Promises
We must also teach children the power of promises. If a child promises something, make that child stand by his/her promise. It will only take a few times for that child to learn not to be hasty about making promises at least around you. Also, a child that never has duties will never understand how to be reliable. We have been very guilty of no expectations for children as far as chores or other jobs are concerned. I teach the children in my care the difference between work and play. I teach them that work is to be done whether or not they like it or want to do it. This is absolutely essential if we want to raise responsible adults. We may all want to live in a world where we never have to do anything we do not want to do, but I am afraid that world does not exist in this present age. If you do not do what is necessary, someone else has to do it making you lazy and irresponsible. Period.
Right and Wrong Are Important
Finally, we must teach the children the difference between right and wrong. We must also teach them that all of their actions matter in the long run. Half-done work and sloppy work costs you. That one lesson alone may be the difference in whether that child succeeds in the future or not. Many people would be much more successful if they finished their work completely and did everything to their best ability. Laziness is a real problem contrary to popular belief, and we must teach the next generation how to be responsible and productive citizens of the world.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
The Definition of Responsible
Webster lists four different definitions for responsible. They are as follows: (1) liable to be called upon to answer for one's acts or decisions: answerable. (2) able to fulfill one's obligations: reliable, trustworthy. (3) able to choose for oneself between right and wrong. (4) involving accountability or important duties. We will look at all four definitions.
Being Answerable
The first definition deals with being answerable for one's acts and/or decisions. Oh my word, this one's presence in our present society is nearly laughable. In this society everything is the other guy's fault. To find an adult that actually makes himself/herself answerable for his/her actions or decisions is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. These people do exist, but they usually have the book thrown at them if they dare to admit a mistake or failure. It makes people in this society extremely uncomfortable to be around someone that believes we should answer for our actions and decisions. However, they want everyone else to answer for everything. We live in a country with very little mercy for others because of our lack of answerability for our own actions and decisions. Lack of answerability has widespread consequences in a society. We are presently living with those consequences, and if we do not work to correct it, it will mean the decline of our nation into obscurity. However, I see no break in the mantra that no one is to blame for their actions because of the belief that we are solely products of our environments instead of being people with free will. We must begin to scream at the top of our lungs that people must be answerable for their own actions and decisions. We must begin to be honest with ourselves about the messes in which we find ourselves and quit trying to get everyone else to fix them. We make our choices, and whether we like it or not, we live with the consequences. It is built into the universe, and we cannot change it.
Fulfilling Obligations
The second definition involves fulfilling one's obligations. I have already written an article on being reliable and trustworthy. However, I will touch on it again here. Obligation has become a dirty word in our society. Whether we like to admit or not, we often look at obligations as options rather than as responsibilities. Gone are the days when a person would fulfill their obligations even if it meant doing without. We are just not a society that does without anything. This is why our nation has a debt crisis. Number one, we need to learn as a society to be slow to make obligations if we want to be able to start fulfilling our obligations. Because we look at them as options, we often do not truly weigh out the pros and cons of promises before we make them. In nearly everything, we half look before we leap, and then when the promise goes south, we blame everyone else for not being able to fulfill our obligations. Number two, when we do make obligations even on a whim, we need to learn to follow through with it even if it is painful. This will teach us to follow suggestion number one.
Choosing Between Right and Wrong
Definition number three presents a true conundrum for our society. In order to be able to choose between right and wrong, one has to believe that a right and wrong answer actually exists. Otherwise we are simply choosing between shades of gray. I have said it before, and I say it again. Relativism will be the demise of this society unless we again begin to teach our children the difference between right and wrong.
Accountability
The last definition covers the aspect of accountability. Again, as with every other aspect of responsibility, our society does a very poor job with accountability. We do not live our lives as if we will give an account for the things we have done and the decisions we make. However, if we are to become a responsible society once again, we will have to live our lives that way. For those of us who are Christian, we understand that we will one day stand before our Maker and give an account of our lives. Sometimes even we that know this, still do not live our lives as if we will give an accounting. The attitude of being accountable for everything is the cornerstone of being a responsible person. When we believe that our day-to-day actions will be judged as to their merit, it changes how we approach everything. It becomes much easier to put more effort into our duties and decisions because the consequences are never far from our mind. We know and understand that all we do has importance even if it is just a very small detail. This knowledge transforms us into responsible adults.
The Power of Consequences
How does this translate into the early childhood realm? We must teach children that there are consequences for their actions. We must resist the urge to save them from the consequences of their actions in order for them to learn about these consequences. The early childhood world has become obsessed with making childhood magical and completely free from harm. That is both dangerous and completely impractical. Children will never learn to be responsible if they never learn about consequences.
The Power of Promises
We must also teach children the power of promises. If a child promises something, make that child stand by his/her promise. It will only take a few times for that child to learn not to be hasty about making promises at least around you. Also, a child that never has duties will never understand how to be reliable. We have been very guilty of no expectations for children as far as chores or other jobs are concerned. I teach the children in my care the difference between work and play. I teach them that work is to be done whether or not they like it or want to do it. This is absolutely essential if we want to raise responsible adults. We may all want to live in a world where we never have to do anything we do not want to do, but I am afraid that world does not exist in this present age. If you do not do what is necessary, someone else has to do it making you lazy and irresponsible. Period.
Right and Wrong Are Important
Finally, we must teach the children the difference between right and wrong. We must also teach them that all of their actions matter in the long run. Half-done work and sloppy work costs you. That one lesson alone may be the difference in whether that child succeeds in the future or not. Many people would be much more successful if they finished their work completely and did everything to their best ability. Laziness is a real problem contrary to popular belief, and we must teach the next generation how to be responsible and productive citizens of the world.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Teaching Advanced or Gifted Children
This post will deal with probably the most misunderstood and ignored population of children - the advanced and gifted. You may well ask how in the world could this group be the most misunderstood and ignored population? However, one only has to take a few early childhood education classes to see that this is true. Developmentally appropriate practice, which is the absolute law in the early childhood world, does more to harm this particular population than any other.
My Homeschooling Experience
First, let me give you a background of my expertise in this area. Before I was an early childhood professional, I was a homeschooling mom. Each of my three children were very different, but my middle child bordered on gifted and my youngest was advanced. My middle child learned to read before her fourth birthday, and by her fifth birthday she was reading on a third grade reading level. My youngest and oldest learned to read in kindergarten, but my youngest excelled in math concepts. On the Stanford achievement test, which my children took every school year, my oldest always registered slightly above average, my youngest always scored squarely above average except in math where he scored in the 99th percentile even in the private school ratings, and my middle child always scored in the high 90s if not 99th in percentile on everything even in the more competitive private school ratings. By the way, I did not teach to the test. I just let the test happen every year without any prep, which is how that is supposed to work. The tests are meant to show the teacher if any holes are occurring in instruction so corrections can be made in curriculum planning.
Keep Them Challenged
How did this translate into my philosophy concerning the teaching of gifted and advanced children? My youngest two children taught me how important it is to keep children like that challenged. Recently, I read an article that talked about why it is not important for children to learn to read at 5 years old. I had to laugh out loud. My middle child does not even remember not being able to read, and she thinks every child should have that opportunity. The author of that article obviously never talked to any adults like my daughter. Granted not every child is ready to read at 5 years old, but holding back an advanced or gifted child is just as horrible as pushing a child that is not ready. This is the reason I designed my preschool to provide one-on-one instruction. Every child needs the opportunity to proceed in their education at their own individual rate. This is why Developmentally Appropriate Practice is so detrimental to advanced and gifted children. A great deal of what I do everyday with advanced and gifted children has been deemed developmentally inappropriate by my assessors, and I have been counted off considerably for it in my QRIS ratings. Of course, I do not give a hoot about whether or not these "experts" consider what I do as developmentally inappropriate because their scale was designed for below average to average children. In case you did not know, these scales and developmentally appropriate standards used by some states and accreditation systems for assessment purposes were designed for the population of children that normally attends Headstart programs. These children tend to be disadvantaged and usually fall in the below average to average categories on standardized measures. The scales and standards were designed with this population in mind, and therefore should not be considered appropriate measures for the population at large especially advanced and gifted children. This also makes them inappropriate measures for children with developmental delays, which is the other end of the spectrum.
The Way I Do It
Over the years, I have tended to attract children from the two extreme ends of the spectrum and not very many from the middle in my childcare program. This is probably because I was the only program for miles that actually catered to advanced and gifted children. Does this mean that I run one of those programs that makes children sit all day long and work on pages? No. The children's one-on-one instruction takes anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes according to the child's maturity level. The rest of the day I let them play without getting all up in their business. Play is extremely important for a child's development at every point on the spectrum, but this does not have to be an either or situation. The one-on-one instruction design gives me the freedom to adjust my instruction to each child's maturity and cognitive level while at the same time allowing the child to play most of the day. Does that mean I might have 3 year olds working on prereading skills while at the same time I have four year olds learning their colors? Absolutely. If a child has learned all the points leading up to prereading, then I let that child keep going at their own pace.
The "Crab" Effect
At this point I want to talk about the "crab" effect. Our public school systems have been compared to crab buckets. Let me explain. In a crab bucket, when one crab tries to climb out of the bucket, the rest of the crabs pull that crab back down. This is basically what happens to advanced and gifted children in the public school system. They have to fight the other crabs in order to climb above the fray, and many children will simply play dumb in order to avoid this "crab" effect. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that this could explain quite a bit of why our country struggles to train the highly educated professionals we need for emerging industries. Having been the "geek" in school, I know having to fight against the fray leaves deep emotional scars for some children. One of these days, someone is going to be brave enough to suggest that maybe we need to start grouping children by ability rather than age and go to a more individualized instruction environment. Actually, these people are already out there, they are just being pulled back by the "crabs" of society. This is why I homeschooled. I knew my children might take after me, and I did not want their education to be dictated by the "crabs." Did my experiment work? My middle child is now in graduate school doing what she loves. My youngest child is in college and pursuing a career in the music field. My oldest is married with children, which is exactly what she wants out of life. I think I did okay.
Curriculum for Advanced and Gifted Children
What does curriculum look like for advanced and gifted children? This is probably the question that causes the most consternation for early childhood professionals. However, one only has to look into the homeschooling world to find the answer. Many homeschooling curriculums have detailed teacher's books that are not difficult to follow even for someone who does not have educational training. I will tell you that early childhood classes offer no instruction for teaching advanced and gifted children because they are built on the Developmentally Appropriate Practice standards. You will have to look elsewhere. Most of the advanced and gifted children I have had over the years graduated from all the instruction provided by early childhood classes by the age of three and a half if not before. I use a homeschooling curriculum and usually start prereading skills with most of these children at the age of three. Many of these children are learning to read short words at the age of four and full-on reading by the age of five. Of course, I use a phonics-based program, which will be the topic of my posts on Saturdays for the next little while.
The Need for Social/Emotional Instruction
Before I leave this topic, I want to discuss one aspect of teaching advanced and gifted children that is often overlooked by most everyone. That is social/emotional instruction. Because these children are so intelligent, many times adults tend to overlook their social and emotional instruction. However, these children need this instruction just as much if not more than other children. Many highly intelligent children struggle with social concepts. This is not just a stereotype. Many children who fall in what is considered the average category on standardized measures usually have strengths in social intelligence rather than more cognitive intelligence. Many children who have strong cognitive intelligence tend to be weak in social intelligence. However, all it takes is some instruction and training to help these children increase their social intelligence just like cognitive instruction improves those whose strength is social intelligence. Do not neglect the social/emotional instruction with any group of children.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
My Homeschooling Experience
First, let me give you a background of my expertise in this area. Before I was an early childhood professional, I was a homeschooling mom. Each of my three children were very different, but my middle child bordered on gifted and my youngest was advanced. My middle child learned to read before her fourth birthday, and by her fifth birthday she was reading on a third grade reading level. My youngest and oldest learned to read in kindergarten, but my youngest excelled in math concepts. On the Stanford achievement test, which my children took every school year, my oldest always registered slightly above average, my youngest always scored squarely above average except in math where he scored in the 99th percentile even in the private school ratings, and my middle child always scored in the high 90s if not 99th in percentile on everything even in the more competitive private school ratings. By the way, I did not teach to the test. I just let the test happen every year without any prep, which is how that is supposed to work. The tests are meant to show the teacher if any holes are occurring in instruction so corrections can be made in curriculum planning.
Keep Them Challenged
How did this translate into my philosophy concerning the teaching of gifted and advanced children? My youngest two children taught me how important it is to keep children like that challenged. Recently, I read an article that talked about why it is not important for children to learn to read at 5 years old. I had to laugh out loud. My middle child does not even remember not being able to read, and she thinks every child should have that opportunity. The author of that article obviously never talked to any adults like my daughter. Granted not every child is ready to read at 5 years old, but holding back an advanced or gifted child is just as horrible as pushing a child that is not ready. This is the reason I designed my preschool to provide one-on-one instruction. Every child needs the opportunity to proceed in their education at their own individual rate. This is why Developmentally Appropriate Practice is so detrimental to advanced and gifted children. A great deal of what I do everyday with advanced and gifted children has been deemed developmentally inappropriate by my assessors, and I have been counted off considerably for it in my QRIS ratings. Of course, I do not give a hoot about whether or not these "experts" consider what I do as developmentally inappropriate because their scale was designed for below average to average children. In case you did not know, these scales and developmentally appropriate standards used by some states and accreditation systems for assessment purposes were designed for the population of children that normally attends Headstart programs. These children tend to be disadvantaged and usually fall in the below average to average categories on standardized measures. The scales and standards were designed with this population in mind, and therefore should not be considered appropriate measures for the population at large especially advanced and gifted children. This also makes them inappropriate measures for children with developmental delays, which is the other end of the spectrum.
The Way I Do It
Over the years, I have tended to attract children from the two extreme ends of the spectrum and not very many from the middle in my childcare program. This is probably because I was the only program for miles that actually catered to advanced and gifted children. Does this mean that I run one of those programs that makes children sit all day long and work on pages? No. The children's one-on-one instruction takes anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes according to the child's maturity level. The rest of the day I let them play without getting all up in their business. Play is extremely important for a child's development at every point on the spectrum, but this does not have to be an either or situation. The one-on-one instruction design gives me the freedom to adjust my instruction to each child's maturity and cognitive level while at the same time allowing the child to play most of the day. Does that mean I might have 3 year olds working on prereading skills while at the same time I have four year olds learning their colors? Absolutely. If a child has learned all the points leading up to prereading, then I let that child keep going at their own pace.
The "Crab" Effect
At this point I want to talk about the "crab" effect. Our public school systems have been compared to crab buckets. Let me explain. In a crab bucket, when one crab tries to climb out of the bucket, the rest of the crabs pull that crab back down. This is basically what happens to advanced and gifted children in the public school system. They have to fight the other crabs in order to climb above the fray, and many children will simply play dumb in order to avoid this "crab" effect. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that this could explain quite a bit of why our country struggles to train the highly educated professionals we need for emerging industries. Having been the "geek" in school, I know having to fight against the fray leaves deep emotional scars for some children. One of these days, someone is going to be brave enough to suggest that maybe we need to start grouping children by ability rather than age and go to a more individualized instruction environment. Actually, these people are already out there, they are just being pulled back by the "crabs" of society. This is why I homeschooled. I knew my children might take after me, and I did not want their education to be dictated by the "crabs." Did my experiment work? My middle child is now in graduate school doing what she loves. My youngest child is in college and pursuing a career in the music field. My oldest is married with children, which is exactly what she wants out of life. I think I did okay.
Curriculum for Advanced and Gifted Children
What does curriculum look like for advanced and gifted children? This is probably the question that causes the most consternation for early childhood professionals. However, one only has to look into the homeschooling world to find the answer. Many homeschooling curriculums have detailed teacher's books that are not difficult to follow even for someone who does not have educational training. I will tell you that early childhood classes offer no instruction for teaching advanced and gifted children because they are built on the Developmentally Appropriate Practice standards. You will have to look elsewhere. Most of the advanced and gifted children I have had over the years graduated from all the instruction provided by early childhood classes by the age of three and a half if not before. I use a homeschooling curriculum and usually start prereading skills with most of these children at the age of three. Many of these children are learning to read short words at the age of four and full-on reading by the age of five. Of course, I use a phonics-based program, which will be the topic of my posts on Saturdays for the next little while.
The Need for Social/Emotional Instruction
Before I leave this topic, I want to discuss one aspect of teaching advanced and gifted children that is often overlooked by most everyone. That is social/emotional instruction. Because these children are so intelligent, many times adults tend to overlook their social and emotional instruction. However, these children need this instruction just as much if not more than other children. Many highly intelligent children struggle with social concepts. This is not just a stereotype. Many children who fall in what is considered the average category on standardized measures usually have strengths in social intelligence rather than more cognitive intelligence. Many children who have strong cognitive intelligence tend to be weak in social intelligence. However, all it takes is some instruction and training to help these children increase their social intelligence just like cognitive instruction improves those whose strength is social intelligence. Do not neglect the social/emotional instruction with any group of children.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Teaching Children to be Kind
This post will deal with the task of training children to be kindhearted. In a world where everyone seems to be snarky and hateful, instilling kindness can be a difficult challenge. Of course, like every other character trait I have covered, I will start with the adults first.
The Definition of Kind
Webster defines kind as being of a sympathetic, forbearing, or pleasant nature. I really like that definition. I will deal with all three aspects of kindness. Being sympathetic involves understanding another person's perspective. A forbearing person has longsuffering and is not easily angered. A pleasant person in today's terms would be called an optimist. This type of person looks for the good in all situations.
Being Sympathetic
Let's start the discussion with being sympathetic. This is not a skill that many adults have in abundance. When I was taking classes for organizational management, perspective taking topped the list of skills managers must have in order to do their job well. Can you as the adult, set aside your prejudices and opinions and look at a situation from another person's point of view? Did you realize that was an aspect of kindness? The old Native American saying "don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my moccasins" truly fits this aspect of kindness. As adults we have to be slow to judge others. If you are a person that jumps to conclusions all the time, did you realize that made people look at you as being unkind? Being judgmental is the opposite of being kind. However, let me clarify one thing. There is a difference between sympathy and empathy. You can have sympathy for a person while still not agreeing with that person's opinion or stance. With empathy you are in full agreement with that person and understand exactly the situation in which he/she is dealing. The trick with being sympathetic stems from how you treat a person that disagrees with you. We must treat people with dignity and respect even when we have sharp disagreements with one another. That is how you show kindness to all.
Forbearing
Next let's look at forbearing. This one may seem old-fashioned to many people. In our me-driven society, putting up with other people tends not to be high on people's priority list. We want to do what is best for us, and if how you are does not fit our agenda, we will set out to change you. However, we must remember that it takes all types of people to make a society function, and just because that particular personality type does not set well with you does not mean that it does not have a place or function in our society as a whole. You must also remember that many people may feel that way about you. We tend to try to fix or change what does not fit our stereotypes of normal. I absolutely love 19th century novelists because of the vivid and messy character descriptions they delivered in their works. Dickens was a master of portraying the different people in communities without passing judgment per se on that character. Many times I could picture someone in my small town that fit that description perfectly. It made me realize that everyone has a part to play in society as a whole. We need to cut each other a whole lot of slack. Again this basically comes down to not being judgmental, but it goes beyond that. This comes down to understanding and respecting everyone's place in the big picture and letting them fulfill that place without interference. Did you ever consider this to be an aspect of kindness? We cannot be truly kind to people if we are trying to make them fit our mold of normal. Again I say, treat people with dignity and respect and let God deal with the judging.
A Pleasant Nature
The last aspect of kindness I want to look at deals with having a pleasant nature. Before I go any further let me clarify that there is a difference between between pleasant and being perky. Pleasantness has absolutely nothing to do with circumstances. It is a quality of the soul. It involves being able to find the good in every situation and make the most of it. Perkiness, on the other hand, tends to be contrived. Most of the time, it involves people trying to be positive without having the internal anchor of hope. It has no depth or realness, which is why many people find it so annoying. When a person looks for the good in both people and situations, that person tends to treat other people with respect and dignity. Are you seeing the pattern? Kindness involves treating other people with respect and dignity.
The Golden Rule
How does all of this translate into the early childhood environment? Of course, you as the adult need to model kindness. That is a given. The simplest method might be to just firmly enforce the Golden Rule. Make it as much a part of your environment as the toys. Drill and instill into the children that they should treat others just like they would want to be treated. This method has worked for over 2000 years. I do believe it has a better track record than any other method. Make sure you talk to the children about the other child's perspective especially. Sympathy is not an easy concept for preschoolers. This will need time and attention on a daily basis. When the children get annoyed with one another, make sure you teach them to be forbearing. Teach them to appreciate differences in personality and perspective. Don't force children to be perky. Teach them to see the good in every situation. Teach them to see the good in each other. These are the types of activities that will develop kindness. Spend as much time on character every day as you do any other aspect of your curriculum.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The Definition of Kind
Webster defines kind as being of a sympathetic, forbearing, or pleasant nature. I really like that definition. I will deal with all three aspects of kindness. Being sympathetic involves understanding another person's perspective. A forbearing person has longsuffering and is not easily angered. A pleasant person in today's terms would be called an optimist. This type of person looks for the good in all situations.
Being Sympathetic
Let's start the discussion with being sympathetic. This is not a skill that many adults have in abundance. When I was taking classes for organizational management, perspective taking topped the list of skills managers must have in order to do their job well. Can you as the adult, set aside your prejudices and opinions and look at a situation from another person's point of view? Did you realize that was an aspect of kindness? The old Native American saying "don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my moccasins" truly fits this aspect of kindness. As adults we have to be slow to judge others. If you are a person that jumps to conclusions all the time, did you realize that made people look at you as being unkind? Being judgmental is the opposite of being kind. However, let me clarify one thing. There is a difference between sympathy and empathy. You can have sympathy for a person while still not agreeing with that person's opinion or stance. With empathy you are in full agreement with that person and understand exactly the situation in which he/she is dealing. The trick with being sympathetic stems from how you treat a person that disagrees with you. We must treat people with dignity and respect even when we have sharp disagreements with one another. That is how you show kindness to all.
Forbearing
Next let's look at forbearing. This one may seem old-fashioned to many people. In our me-driven society, putting up with other people tends not to be high on people's priority list. We want to do what is best for us, and if how you are does not fit our agenda, we will set out to change you. However, we must remember that it takes all types of people to make a society function, and just because that particular personality type does not set well with you does not mean that it does not have a place or function in our society as a whole. You must also remember that many people may feel that way about you. We tend to try to fix or change what does not fit our stereotypes of normal. I absolutely love 19th century novelists because of the vivid and messy character descriptions they delivered in their works. Dickens was a master of portraying the different people in communities without passing judgment per se on that character. Many times I could picture someone in my small town that fit that description perfectly. It made me realize that everyone has a part to play in society as a whole. We need to cut each other a whole lot of slack. Again this basically comes down to not being judgmental, but it goes beyond that. This comes down to understanding and respecting everyone's place in the big picture and letting them fulfill that place without interference. Did you ever consider this to be an aspect of kindness? We cannot be truly kind to people if we are trying to make them fit our mold of normal. Again I say, treat people with dignity and respect and let God deal with the judging.
A Pleasant Nature
The last aspect of kindness I want to look at deals with having a pleasant nature. Before I go any further let me clarify that there is a difference between between pleasant and being perky. Pleasantness has absolutely nothing to do with circumstances. It is a quality of the soul. It involves being able to find the good in every situation and make the most of it. Perkiness, on the other hand, tends to be contrived. Most of the time, it involves people trying to be positive without having the internal anchor of hope. It has no depth or realness, which is why many people find it so annoying. When a person looks for the good in both people and situations, that person tends to treat other people with respect and dignity. Are you seeing the pattern? Kindness involves treating other people with respect and dignity.
The Golden Rule
How does all of this translate into the early childhood environment? Of course, you as the adult need to model kindness. That is a given. The simplest method might be to just firmly enforce the Golden Rule. Make it as much a part of your environment as the toys. Drill and instill into the children that they should treat others just like they would want to be treated. This method has worked for over 2000 years. I do believe it has a better track record than any other method. Make sure you talk to the children about the other child's perspective especially. Sympathy is not an easy concept for preschoolers. This will need time and attention on a daily basis. When the children get annoyed with one another, make sure you teach them to be forbearing. Teach them to appreciate differences in personality and perspective. Don't force children to be perky. Teach them to see the good in every situation. Teach them to see the good in each other. These are the types of activities that will develop kindness. Spend as much time on character every day as you do any other aspect of your curriculum.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Teaching Immature Children
This post will deal with the unique challenges of teaching children with immaturity issues. For the past several years early childhood professionals have noticed a massive upsurge in immaturity issues with the children arriving on our doorstep. This post will not deal with the causes of this upsurge. I have already written a post on that subject. However, in dealing with the task of teaching these children the underlying causes must also be addressed. Therefore, I will briefly touch on these underlying causes.
The Immaturity Issue
The immaturity issue has to be one of the hottest topics among childcare professionals today. It has become such an issue that many longtime childcare professionals have contemplated early retirement. It is becoming increasingly difficult with each passing year to bring up the children to the standards of children just a few years ago. Couple this with the push in elementary schools to attain higher standards, and we have a train wreck coming very soon. Kindergarten teachers are already feeling the strain of trying to deal with such a wide range of maturity levels in their classrooms, and they have only begun to feel the effects of what the early childhood community has been dealing with for the past couple of years.
The Causes
As I said in my opening paragraph, I will touch briefly on the underlying causes of this immaturity because it plays heavily in the strategies necessary to deal with it. Societal changes and parenting styles prevalent today are the largest factors in this upsurge. However, before I discuss those I want to touch on a couple of other factors that compound the two big ones. The first one is inadequate nutrition. Many people do not realize that inadequate nutrition gravely affects brain development. No one in our country today would argue that our children are not eating well. The picky eating has become so rampant, I do not think many children even know what a vegetable looks like. Some children's diets are so poor, they have the brain development of children from third world countries. It is no coincidence that the unbelievable surge in obesity and picky-eating is coinciding with the upsurge in immaturity. The second one is the overuse of technology for babysitting purposes. I have seen parents hand two year olds a smart phone to keep them entertained. Really people? Number one, why in the world would you hand such an expensive piece of equipment to a two year old? The answer to that question stems completely from the two large factors. It is immature parents or overindulgent parents.
The Idealistic View of Childhood
Our society today pushes an idealistic view of childhood that is going to completely destroy us if we do not stop it. This view started in the 1980s and is responsible for the generation of completely immature parents we have today. Many, but not all, of the young parents today were raised to believe the world completely revolves around them. We as a society expected these children to magically become responsible adults when they had children. It did not happen. These parents are so self-absorbed it is pathetic. However, this philosophy still marches on among the parents who are older. They are raising another generation of children who will not magically become adults when they have children. It scares me to think what the generation of children raised by the immature generation will become. I hopes it scares you, too.
Self-help Skills
What do we do? Unfortunately for us, we the early childhood community are on the front lines of this train wreck as it happens. However, do not lose hope. Each child that comes to us can be a child that helps to change the course of this catastrophe. It takes an enormous amount of hard work and patience, but we can turn the tide with this upcoming generation. Number one, we have to work diligently on developing self-help skills in the children. This needs to be an even higher priority than academic skills. An immature child that is smart is still an immature child, and that will gravely effect what can be accomplished academically in the child's future. For example, a four year old child that is still not pottytrained, will have severe social and emotional issues if allowed to hit kindergarten that way. It does not matter if that child can quote all the presidents in order or already be reading. The lack of maturity will affect everything. Another example, is a four year old that throws excessive temper tantrums when he/she does not get his/her way. That will affect how that child learns. We also need to include teaching appropriate eating habits in the category of self-help skills. When we tackle all of it at the same time, it actually works to compound for the good. Children that eat better are actually less likely to throw temper tantrums and hissy fits. This is because they are getting better nutrition, but it is also because they are learning to deal with a situation that they do not necessarily like. As I said, it takes an ENORMOUS amount of hard work to get these immature children heading in the right direction. I want to make sure you have no delusions about that. Provide children with routines and structure that puts a heavy emphasis on the children becoming self-sufficient in pottying, picking up after themselves, participating in the daily chores of their lives, etc. Teach the children how to get along in social settings and how to control their emotions. Make sure the children get adequate rest, which can have as big a detrimental effect as lack of nutrition. Basically make sure in your setting, that child receives all the instruction necessary for development because it can no longer be taken for granted that the child will get that instruction anywhere else.
Go Slow with the Academics
In the beginning, academic skills need to be introduced to immature children in very small doses. As I have stated in earlier posts dealing with individual instruction, I always start children academically at the very same spot whether they are two years old or four years old. How fast we proceed through the material depends entirely on that child's maturity level. I will always put a heavier emphasis on social and emotional issues until those issues begin to resolve themselves. However, in the background of all that, I still do teach academic concepts at a slowed pace. When the maturity catches up to the academic level, I let the child proceed at a much faster clip. It is important to maintain this slowed down exposure to academic concepts while focusing on the social and emotional issues, or the child will be miserably behind in academic concepts by the time he/she hits kindergarten. This is not an either/or situation. Every child needs both.
A Well-designed Environment
The previous paragraph dealt with the direct instruction aspect of academic concepts. However, the other side of that coin involves providing rich opportunities for that child to learn through his/her play. An environment that contains many open-ended toys such as blocks, puzzles, etc. will provide an immature child with experiences necessary to help close the academic gap. However, many of these children come to us with no idea how to play. When we give these children blocks, they throw them at each other instead of building with them. When we set puzzles in front of these children, they will dump them out and then throw the pieces at each other. A rich environment will not in and of itself help. You, the childcare provider, will have to teach these children how to interact with the environment in an appropriate manner.
This is Hard, Hard Work
At this point, you may feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of work that must go on simultaneously in order to pull up immature children to where they need to be. It is no easy task. There are no shortcuts. Keep your chin up, and persevere. If you do not, what will become of us as a society. We have the most thankless job on the planet. However, when our Father in heaven starts handing out rewards, the childcare providers will get enormous crowns!!
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The Immaturity Issue
The immaturity issue has to be one of the hottest topics among childcare professionals today. It has become such an issue that many longtime childcare professionals have contemplated early retirement. It is becoming increasingly difficult with each passing year to bring up the children to the standards of children just a few years ago. Couple this with the push in elementary schools to attain higher standards, and we have a train wreck coming very soon. Kindergarten teachers are already feeling the strain of trying to deal with such a wide range of maturity levels in their classrooms, and they have only begun to feel the effects of what the early childhood community has been dealing with for the past couple of years.
The Causes
As I said in my opening paragraph, I will touch briefly on the underlying causes of this immaturity because it plays heavily in the strategies necessary to deal with it. Societal changes and parenting styles prevalent today are the largest factors in this upsurge. However, before I discuss those I want to touch on a couple of other factors that compound the two big ones. The first one is inadequate nutrition. Many people do not realize that inadequate nutrition gravely affects brain development. No one in our country today would argue that our children are not eating well. The picky eating has become so rampant, I do not think many children even know what a vegetable looks like. Some children's diets are so poor, they have the brain development of children from third world countries. It is no coincidence that the unbelievable surge in obesity and picky-eating is coinciding with the upsurge in immaturity. The second one is the overuse of technology for babysitting purposes. I have seen parents hand two year olds a smart phone to keep them entertained. Really people? Number one, why in the world would you hand such an expensive piece of equipment to a two year old? The answer to that question stems completely from the two large factors. It is immature parents or overindulgent parents.
The Idealistic View of Childhood
Our society today pushes an idealistic view of childhood that is going to completely destroy us if we do not stop it. This view started in the 1980s and is responsible for the generation of completely immature parents we have today. Many, but not all, of the young parents today were raised to believe the world completely revolves around them. We as a society expected these children to magically become responsible adults when they had children. It did not happen. These parents are so self-absorbed it is pathetic. However, this philosophy still marches on among the parents who are older. They are raising another generation of children who will not magically become adults when they have children. It scares me to think what the generation of children raised by the immature generation will become. I hopes it scares you, too.
Self-help Skills
What do we do? Unfortunately for us, we the early childhood community are on the front lines of this train wreck as it happens. However, do not lose hope. Each child that comes to us can be a child that helps to change the course of this catastrophe. It takes an enormous amount of hard work and patience, but we can turn the tide with this upcoming generation. Number one, we have to work diligently on developing self-help skills in the children. This needs to be an even higher priority than academic skills. An immature child that is smart is still an immature child, and that will gravely effect what can be accomplished academically in the child's future. For example, a four year old child that is still not pottytrained, will have severe social and emotional issues if allowed to hit kindergarten that way. It does not matter if that child can quote all the presidents in order or already be reading. The lack of maturity will affect everything. Another example, is a four year old that throws excessive temper tantrums when he/she does not get his/her way. That will affect how that child learns. We also need to include teaching appropriate eating habits in the category of self-help skills. When we tackle all of it at the same time, it actually works to compound for the good. Children that eat better are actually less likely to throw temper tantrums and hissy fits. This is because they are getting better nutrition, but it is also because they are learning to deal with a situation that they do not necessarily like. As I said, it takes an ENORMOUS amount of hard work to get these immature children heading in the right direction. I want to make sure you have no delusions about that. Provide children with routines and structure that puts a heavy emphasis on the children becoming self-sufficient in pottying, picking up after themselves, participating in the daily chores of their lives, etc. Teach the children how to get along in social settings and how to control their emotions. Make sure the children get adequate rest, which can have as big a detrimental effect as lack of nutrition. Basically make sure in your setting, that child receives all the instruction necessary for development because it can no longer be taken for granted that the child will get that instruction anywhere else.
Go Slow with the Academics
In the beginning, academic skills need to be introduced to immature children in very small doses. As I have stated in earlier posts dealing with individual instruction, I always start children academically at the very same spot whether they are two years old or four years old. How fast we proceed through the material depends entirely on that child's maturity level. I will always put a heavier emphasis on social and emotional issues until those issues begin to resolve themselves. However, in the background of all that, I still do teach academic concepts at a slowed pace. When the maturity catches up to the academic level, I let the child proceed at a much faster clip. It is important to maintain this slowed down exposure to academic concepts while focusing on the social and emotional issues, or the child will be miserably behind in academic concepts by the time he/she hits kindergarten. This is not an either/or situation. Every child needs both.
A Well-designed Environment
The previous paragraph dealt with the direct instruction aspect of academic concepts. However, the other side of that coin involves providing rich opportunities for that child to learn through his/her play. An environment that contains many open-ended toys such as blocks, puzzles, etc. will provide an immature child with experiences necessary to help close the academic gap. However, many of these children come to us with no idea how to play. When we give these children blocks, they throw them at each other instead of building with them. When we set puzzles in front of these children, they will dump them out and then throw the pieces at each other. A rich environment will not in and of itself help. You, the childcare provider, will have to teach these children how to interact with the environment in an appropriate manner.
This is Hard, Hard Work
At this point, you may feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of work that must go on simultaneously in order to pull up immature children to where they need to be. It is no easy task. There are no shortcuts. Keep your chin up, and persevere. If you do not, what will become of us as a society. We have the most thankless job on the planet. However, when our Father in heaven starts handing out rewards, the childcare providers will get enormous crowns!!
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Teaching Children to Be Thoughtful
This post will deal with the difficult task of teaching children to think of others. Of course, children are naturally egocentric, which means they think the world revolves around them. However, they can be taught to think of others just like everyone else.
The Definition of Thoughtful
Webster defines thoughtful as considerate of others. It is also defined as marked by careful thinking. We will explore this from both of those aspects. One of the greatest aspects of being considerate involves having good manners. We will discuss that in depth. Careful thinking involves not being rash and impulsive, but thinking before we act and speak.
Adults First
Just like all the other posts I have done on character issues, I will talk to the adults first. One of the biggest ways we show consideration for other people is by using good manners. America has become a very rude place. Common courtesy has completely flown out the window. No wonder it is becoming increasingly difficult to teach our children to be thoughtful. Thoughtfulness like all other character traits has to be modeled for children to truly understand how it functions in everyday situations. Do you as the adult use good manners with the children? More importantly, do you use good manners with your coworkers, parents, and other adults? A lot of times, we as caregivers are very careful about manners in the childcare setting, but we regress to normal societal behavior when it comes to other adults. I guarantee the children will pick up your behavior with other adults much faster than they will the "fake" behavior they see from you in the childcare. I used the word "fake" very purposefully. Many aspects of our society have "fake" politeness than has no basis in reality. Especially those of us from the South, understand how some people will say "bless your heart"while digging a knife in your back. In childcare settings we can have this same "fake" politeness that has no basis in love whatsoever. We make everyone say and do all the right things without ever dealing with the heart issues underneath. However, the truth comes out eventually and children can smell a "fake" a mile away. They will learn what you model and if what you model has no true basis in love, it will be just as fake as it can be. You will in essence be teaching children to be two-faced.
Careful Thinking
I said in the beginning of this post, we would look at this from two sides. Being considerate of others needs to be balanced with careful thinking. Careful thinking has to do with motives of the heart or the reasons for our actions. Why are you doing what you are doing? Are you doing it just because it's the polite thing to do or are you genuinely concerned for that person? Good manners becomes a force for good when coupled with pure intentions. Good manners becomes a manipulative ploy when coupled with selfish intentions. I have seen people with impeccable manners that were mean as snakes. I would not trust those people any further than I could throw them. However, if you do not even have manners, what does that say about you? Pure intentions without being considerate of others is just as useless as manners without good intentions. We need both.
Good Manners
How does this translate into an early childhood setting? Most of us are very good at trying to teach good manners to the children in our care. If you are not teaching the children in your care basic manners, that is definitely where you need to start. When teaching manners to children, it must be both modeled and directly taught. Children must be taught to say "please" when they want something and be expected to do it in real-life situations. It does absolutely no good to simply tell children what they should do without making them practice in real-life situations. However, you cannot assume that a child knows to say "please, thank you, etc." either. Good manners in our society are becoming more scarce with every year. That child may have never had good manners modeled for them before. Therefore, you must do both. Once the basics have been established, then the heart issues must start to be addressed. With children often their motives can be fairly transparent. If they do not really mean it, it is evident in their tone and body language. Many child experts will tell you never to force a child to be truly sorry or truly thankful. However, those are the same experts that have relativism as a foundation for their world view. They believe we should not impose a true right and wrong on children. If you have a different worldview learn to take some of their "best practices" with a grain of salt. I do not let children get away with going through the motions of being polite. I am not interested in raising another generation of people that are polite to be manipulative. If a child needs to say sorry and cannot say it with meaning, that child is still in trouble. The underlying heart issue that caused the situation in the first place has not changed. Unless you deal with situations at their source, you will have multiple repeats of the same behavior. We must teach children that being polite involves so much more than just saying the right words at the right time. We have to mean what we say and let our manners be a deliberate act of our will. Only then will we be truly thoughtful people.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The Definition of Thoughtful
Webster defines thoughtful as considerate of others. It is also defined as marked by careful thinking. We will explore this from both of those aspects. One of the greatest aspects of being considerate involves having good manners. We will discuss that in depth. Careful thinking involves not being rash and impulsive, but thinking before we act and speak.
Adults First
Just like all the other posts I have done on character issues, I will talk to the adults first. One of the biggest ways we show consideration for other people is by using good manners. America has become a very rude place. Common courtesy has completely flown out the window. No wonder it is becoming increasingly difficult to teach our children to be thoughtful. Thoughtfulness like all other character traits has to be modeled for children to truly understand how it functions in everyday situations. Do you as the adult use good manners with the children? More importantly, do you use good manners with your coworkers, parents, and other adults? A lot of times, we as caregivers are very careful about manners in the childcare setting, but we regress to normal societal behavior when it comes to other adults. I guarantee the children will pick up your behavior with other adults much faster than they will the "fake" behavior they see from you in the childcare. I used the word "fake" very purposefully. Many aspects of our society have "fake" politeness than has no basis in reality. Especially those of us from the South, understand how some people will say "bless your heart"while digging a knife in your back. In childcare settings we can have this same "fake" politeness that has no basis in love whatsoever. We make everyone say and do all the right things without ever dealing with the heart issues underneath. However, the truth comes out eventually and children can smell a "fake" a mile away. They will learn what you model and if what you model has no true basis in love, it will be just as fake as it can be. You will in essence be teaching children to be two-faced.
Careful Thinking
I said in the beginning of this post, we would look at this from two sides. Being considerate of others needs to be balanced with careful thinking. Careful thinking has to do with motives of the heart or the reasons for our actions. Why are you doing what you are doing? Are you doing it just because it's the polite thing to do or are you genuinely concerned for that person? Good manners becomes a force for good when coupled with pure intentions. Good manners becomes a manipulative ploy when coupled with selfish intentions. I have seen people with impeccable manners that were mean as snakes. I would not trust those people any further than I could throw them. However, if you do not even have manners, what does that say about you? Pure intentions without being considerate of others is just as useless as manners without good intentions. We need both.
Good Manners
How does this translate into an early childhood setting? Most of us are very good at trying to teach good manners to the children in our care. If you are not teaching the children in your care basic manners, that is definitely where you need to start. When teaching manners to children, it must be both modeled and directly taught. Children must be taught to say "please" when they want something and be expected to do it in real-life situations. It does absolutely no good to simply tell children what they should do without making them practice in real-life situations. However, you cannot assume that a child knows to say "please, thank you, etc." either. Good manners in our society are becoming more scarce with every year. That child may have never had good manners modeled for them before. Therefore, you must do both. Once the basics have been established, then the heart issues must start to be addressed. With children often their motives can be fairly transparent. If they do not really mean it, it is evident in their tone and body language. Many child experts will tell you never to force a child to be truly sorry or truly thankful. However, those are the same experts that have relativism as a foundation for their world view. They believe we should not impose a true right and wrong on children. If you have a different worldview learn to take some of their "best practices" with a grain of salt. I do not let children get away with going through the motions of being polite. I am not interested in raising another generation of people that are polite to be manipulative. If a child needs to say sorry and cannot say it with meaning, that child is still in trouble. The underlying heart issue that caused the situation in the first place has not changed. Unless you deal with situations at their source, you will have multiple repeats of the same behavior. We must teach children that being polite involves so much more than just saying the right words at the right time. We have to mean what we say and let our manners be a deliberate act of our will. Only then will we be truly thoughtful people.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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