Saturday, December 21, 2013

Creative Writing in a Preschool Setting

This post will be a condensed version of the workshop I conduct on this topic.  This topic is near and dear to my heart as an author, former homeschooling mom, preschool teacher, and early childhood literacy advocate.  Helping children to create with words is one of my passions.  This post will contain four different activities that can be used with preschool children to promote creative writing.  I will also provide information on what makes each activity so important for the creative process.

How This Works in a Preschool Setting
As I said, I have conducted workshops on this topic several times.  Many people might think that creative writing should not be done with preschool children.  They believe this to be too academic to be developmentally appropriate for this age group.  However, I am not asking the children to write a story on their own.  I do not try to make them come up with something that is grammatically accurate or has a plausible plot.  I want the children to use language in a creative way.  I simply act as the scribe and write down exactly what they say.  At first, the children's creations will be nonsensical.  However, it does not take long for the children to figure out how this works and begin to create stories that do have somewhat of a plot to them.  At least in the minds of the children, their story has substance.

Interactive Writing
The first activity on the list is what I call "interactive writing."  In this activity, the group comes up with one sentence and one sentence only.  Then the teacher and the students together write the sentence on a large piece of paper or board.  For this activity the teacher will have to know the level of alphabet knowledge the children in their care possess as well as the level of the children's drawing/writing ability.  Some children will be writing certain letters.  Some children will be able to draw sticks and circles.  Some children will not be able to make anything but scribbles.  When the group has decided on the sentence that will be written, the teacher must divide the writing between the children so that everyone gets an opportunity to write something.  For those children that are able to write certain letters utilize them for those letters.  For those children that can make sticks or circles, let them make letters that use those shapes and help them to finish them or do it yourself.  For those that only scribble, use the hand over hand technique to help them write a letter that contains sticks and/or circles to help them learn how to make those shapes.  Let each child use a different color marker and reserve black for yourself.  This way the child can identify quickly which letter he/she made and show that to his/her parents.  As you write the sentence go over each word as it is finished.  Talk about the letters that make up the word as well as the sounds those letters make.  Once the entire sentence is completed, read over it several times running your hand under the words.

Expand-a-Story
The second activity is called "expand a story."  In this one, the teacher either reads a familiar story or tells it orally.  Then the teacher asks the children what happens next.  As the children tell their story, the teacher writes it down as close to what they say as possible.  Sometimes during this one, I have to hold up my hand to make the children wait until I catch up.  I also try to give each child an opportunity to make up one sentence of the story.  I have used books, books on tape/CD, retelling familiar stories (The Three Little Pigs, etc.), and the stories from my blog, The Adventures of Polliwog Pond for this activity.  It is actually best to use a oral story for this activity to give the children opportunity to build their listening skills.  A teacher can tell by how the children expand on a story as to how much they followed the original story.  This will give the teacher an indication of how well the children in his/her care follow a story that is told strictly orally.  Being able to follow an oral story is an invaluable skill for preschool children to develop.  It lays the foundation for being able to comprehend a story without pictures later in the later elementary grades.

Using a Picture
The next activity involves creating a story from a picture.  I usually use paintings of landscapes or dwellings, but you can also use photographs if you want.  I am a big fan of Thomas Kinkade and have many old calendars that contain his paintings, which is what I use for this activity.  I bring out the picture and let the children study it for a little while.  Then I begin to discuss with the children what they think is happening in the picture.  When the children begin to talk about what is happening, I begin writing.  I am very careful to let the children bring out what they want from the picture.  Children will always be drawn to something more obscure than adults.  What you as the adult take from the picture will most likely be the exact opposite of what the children take from the picture.  Please resist the urge to control this activity.  Let them go in whatever direction they choose.  This is not about you, the adult, making a story from the picture.  It is about them placing themselves inside the picture in their imaginations and drawing out a story.  This is an especially important activity for developing creative thought.  Right-brained dominant children will be better at this activity, but left-brained dominant children need experience with this type of activity as well.  Make sure every child has the opportunity to create at least one sentence for the story.

The Word Bucket List
The last activity comes straight from my experience as a children's author.  I learned this technique while taking a correspondence course from the Institute of Children's Literature a very long time ago.  It involves a word bucket.  For the preschool I have a bucket that contains words written on little pieces of paper.  I took these words from different books of first words in which my children were familiar.  I let them draw out three or four words from the bucket.  Then we make a story from those words.  In my writing, I have a similar bucket that contains many more words.  I draw out 10 words to create my children's stories.  This is a word association activity.  It calls on the children to make associations between random words.  I will tell you this is a higher-order thinking skill and is vitally important for many subjects later in a child's educational journey.  At this stage, you will only be concerned with a beginner's effort.  The children's associations will seem very random to you, and that is perfectly normal.  If you have a child that makes incredible associations, you probably have a child with an extremely high IQ on your hands.  Just as with the picture activity, please resist the urge to control this activity.  You want the children to make the associations, not you.  The associations they make between the words will become more feasible with practice.  Let the stories be as random as the children tell them, and please do not try to fix them.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Dealing with Lazy Tendencies in Children

This post will start a series of posts looking at character issues from the "dark side."  We live in a world that has both positive and negative forces.  Trying to deal with character issues in children from strictly a positive point of view usually only touches half the problem.  Unfortunately, ignoring these negative character issues or only trying to build the positive opposites of these character issues does not make them go away.  We live in a fallen world, and if we want to curb these negative tendencies, we must deal with them head on.

Lazy!!!
First of all, let me confirm that I actually dared to use the word "lazy."  I did not say unmotivated or slow to respond.  I used the word "lazy" on purpose because it is a real condition of the soul and runs so rampant in our society it is shameful.  If we are all honest, we have to confess that we all have a tendency toward laziness to some degree.  Some have it worse than others, but a hard work ethic usually does not come to any of us as a birthright.  A solid work ethic usually comes from a lifetime of thwarting the lazy tendencies inherent in all of us, and does not come any other way.  Therefore, teaching children how to thwart their own lazy tendencies is absolutely imperative if we want this next generation to develop a work ethic of any kind.

The Definition
What exactly do I mean by lazy?  Webster defines lazy as (1) disliking activity or exertion (2) encouraging idleness.  I will deal with both of these aspects of laziness.  I call laziness being allergic to work.  If something calls for more than a little effort, the lazy will avoid it like the plague.  What's funny is that sometimes people put more effort into getting out of work than the work actually requires.  For example, some of the children that attended school with me cheated off of me all the time.  They learned to read my handwriting upside down, sideways, and every other way from as far as 10 feet away.  If they had put the same effort into studying their lessons as they did in learning my writing habits, they would have been straight "A" students.  However, I guess they figured cheating was easier so they bullied me and learned how to get their answers through stealth and force.  This attitude runs so prevalent through our society right now that it is sad.  People will jump through all kinds of hoops or go to great lengths to get out of what they consider "hard work."

Breeding Laziness
I know there are many people who will assert that lazy people are simply unmotivated, and if you can find the right motivation, any person will work hard for you.  Oh really?  I am afraid I have my eyes open and have dealt with way too many people in my lifetime that are lazy to the core.  All you have to do is watch some of these reality television shows to see the extent of how far people will go to get out of work.  It is amazing to me that up until 50 or so years ago being lazy was shameful.  Now, it is celebrated in very subtle ways throughout our culture.  It has become the norm to have someone else whether that is "the rich" or the government take care of you, and these attitudes have been fully embraced by the children in our midst.  This is breeding laziness in our children and a sense of entitlement, which when combined produce horrible ramifications for the both society at large and the individual children.

Stop Being an Enabler
How do we fight this tide of laziness that seems to be sweeping over our nation?  Number one - stop being an enabler.  For helicopter parents this is probably the hardest thing on the planet to do.  However, you, as the parent or caregiver, must come face to face with the fact that you created this monster, and it falls to you to slay it.  Let me tell you, when you stop being an enabler, the enabled will go off the deep end at first.  For preschool children, they will throw hissy fits and temper tantrums unparalleled to anything you have ever seen.  The viciousness that will come from the enabled once the enabling stops will rip your heart out and make you feel like the most worthless person on the planet.  Do not underestimate the lengths an enabled child will go to remain enabled.  This holds true whether they are 2 or 50.  However, you must stop doing their work for them, period.

Make Them Do for Themselves
Once you have stopped doing it for them, the next step is to find a way to make them do it themselves.  My favorite tactic for 3 and 4 year olds is to set up the situation in such a way that they will miss out on something if they do not hurry up and finish.  This can also work for smart 2 year olds.  Pick-up time is always a battle anywhere children live.  I give the children here a certain amount of time to pick up their area, and then I move on without them.  This works for about 50% of the children nowadays.  However, I am noticing that the degree of the laziness kicks up every single year now.  More and more children are requiring tougher and tougher measures.  My plea to parents of young children is this - make your child pick up after themselves so that I as a caregiver do not have to kick your child out of childcare because of the hissy fits pick-up time brings out in your children.  This is ridiculous.  Do not make excuses for your children.  Understand that this is laziness pure and simple.  Do something about it.

The Difference between Work and Play
Finally, I want to touch on a subject that is very much taboo in our culture, and that is teaching children the difference between work and play.  Many early childhood professionals would absolutely go into spasms if they heard me talk to the children here about work and play.  I teach the children here that work is something that must be done whether you like it or not and whether you want to or not.  Work is a no choice proposition.  How have we gotten so far from our roots that I have to fear being tarred and feathered for trying to teach children what it means to have a work ethic?  I am so sorry if that offends your sensibilities, but that is the definition of a work ethic.  The work is done before anything else and it is done without fail.  This is how successful people function and living otherwise produces pitiful results in your life.  This is a truth that cannot be ignored or gotten around, and we must begin to teach this to our children again if we want to have a thriving society.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Teaching Foreign Language in a Preschool Setting

This post will delve into the pros and cons of teaching foreign language in a preschool setting.  This topic also strikes very close to the hotly debated subject of academics in preschool.  I will bring out the research on brain development concerning this topic, and also bring in my unique perspective as a homeschooling mom.

Is a Second Language Necessary?
I want to start this discussion with the question - Is it really that important for children to learn a second language in their preschool years?  This question does not have a simple yes or no answer.  Let us start with the facts.  It is a fact that children between the ages of 0 to 5 years of age have more neurons and neural activity than at any other time of their life.  During this period neural connections are either made or pruned.  Simply put, the areas of the brain that receive reinforcement during this time period gain neural connections, and those that do not receive reinforcement do not gain neural connections.  Therefore, it stands to reason that exposing young children to a second or more languages helps the area of the brain dedicated to language to gain neural connections especially those areas that allow for  different words pertaining to the same object.  In other words, the child's brain becomes hardwired for language acquisition.  Does this translate into ease of language acquisition later in life?  I believe it does.

Yes and No
However, I said this question does not have a definite yes or no answer.  The reason I said this is because language acquisition may not be a priority for that family or child.  The brain research only matters if language acquisition falls on the top end of the educational priority list of a culture, family group, etc.  If language acquisition falls at the bottom of the educational priority list, then other areas of learning become more important.  Our society has always treated education as a cut and dry subject and some areas of learning are universal such as reading and basic math.  However, the education of children is also very much subjective and depends greatly on the priorities of the culture into which a child is born.  Opponents of universal curriculum, such as the Common Core curriculum which is so hotly debated these days, have a point.  Education should be locally controlled or parents and educators will feel like certain aspects of the curriculum are being shoved down their throat.  This is also why diversity of preschool programs has such importance for parents.  Some parents want more academic content for their children.  Some parents want more play-based activities for their children.  Guess what?  Parents should be able to choose which type of program they deem important for their children rather than being told what kind of program their children should attend.  Therefore, regulations surrounding preschool programs should allow for this diversity instead of shoving one style down everyone's throat.  When government involves itself too heavily in the education debate, a mess of great proportions always follows.  This remains one of the biggest lessons we should have learned from history but never do.

Exposure Not Fluency
Now, let us say that you are a parent that finds language acquisition valuable.  How do you go about teaching preschool children a second or more languages?  Here is the point where many on the academic side of the debate usually hit the ditch.  It is not necessary for a child to be fluent in two or more languages for them to benefit from foreign language instruction.  Granted there will always be that child so predisposed to language acquisition that they do learn to speak two or more languages by the time they are three or four years of age.  However, they will always be the exception and not the norm.  The point is exposure not fluency.  Remember the goal is to help the brain retain or gain neural connections that involve understanding multiple words for the same object or idea.  For example, we want the child to understand that red, rojo, and rouge are different words for the same color.  Will they retain all the words we teach them in preschool?  Yes and no.  As the adult you will never be able to predict what sticks and what does not.  That depends entirely on the child and how relevant the child finds the information.  Some children find foreign language fascinating and others do not.  Some children remember the names of colors in more than one language but nothing else.  However, even if they forget every word you taught them in preschool, you have still hardwired their brain for language acquisition.  Later in their life, the concept of another word for the same object will come easy to them, and picking up another language will not be as difficult as it might be for another person without that hardwiring of the brain.  How do I know this?  My biological children were exposed to foreign language in preschool continuing on through elementary school.  When they reached high school, they remembered some of the words I taught them.  However, picking up two or more languages in high school was easy for them.  I had hardwired their brains, and it paid off for them in major ways.

Dos and Don'ts
Before I leave this subject let me hit on some "dos and don'ts" of presenting foreign language to preschool children.  Do present words that are relevant to their world such as colors, body parts, articles of clothing, etc.  Don't label everything in the classroom in multiple languages and call that foreign language instruction.  Just seeing words in a different language does not benefit prereading children.  That tactic in an elementary classroom where all the children can read would be much more beneficial.  If you do have multi-lingual labels in your classroom, the only way to make those beneficial to preschool children is to read them very frequently.  Otherwise, they are decorations.  Do read books that have both the English and another language with pictures to support the story.  This allows the children to hear two different languages describing the same picture.  Don't read stories that just randomly throw in words from a different language without any explanation.  This will not make sense to the children.  When it comes to learning a foreign language, oral presentations will always trump visual presentations until a child learns to read.  If you want to use visuals, use pictures and say the word.  Remember, I am not a fan of whole language reading techniques.  This transfers to teaching a foreign language.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Helping Children Have Courage

This post will deal with helping children to face fears and attempt risks.  Our society today is raising a generation that is so sheltered they are being called the "fragile" generation.  I really do not think we as a society have even fully considered what kind of long-term ramifications that will have on us as a nation.  For over a hundred years Americans have been known for their pioneering spirit and ingenuity.  We can kiss that reputation goodbye if we have not already.  We will simply continue our slide into obscurity and another nation will rise to prominence.  We have fallen into the same trap in which every other prominent nation throughout history has fallen prey.  We have become complacent and raised generations of children that became increasingly more sheltered.

The Definition of Courage
Webster defines courage as the ability to conquer fear or despair.  In order to conquer fear and/or despair, children must experience both fear and despair.  Helicopter parents do everything in their power to keep their children from both of these experiences.  I have said over and over and over again that our society's fixation with a "perfect" childhood will be our undoing.  Childhood cannot and should not be "perfect."  If it is, children will not grow into properly functioning adults.  I am afraid that is just the cold hard facts.

The Lessons of History
The saying that "those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it" very much applies to the trends we see in our current society.  I become so frustrated with people trying to build a utopia on this earth.  These type of people have such narrow focus that they do not see how they follow the paths that brought serious decline to other empires.  They will tell you (if you point out to them what they are doing) that this time will be different because the world has changed.  To quote the Bible "there is nothing new under the sun."  It has not worked ever before, and it will not work this time, either.  When you raise subsequent generations of spoiled and sheltered children, a more dominant culture will come to displace that society, and the displaced society will suffer.  The spoiled and sheltered children will become completely defenseless adults destined to be victims.

The Importance of Courage
I hope the previous paragraph scared the life out of you.  Courage is absolutely and completely necessary for the survival of any people.  What are we doing to build courage in our children?  All I see in current trends is sheltering and redirection.  Both of these techniques has created our "fragile" generation.  Courage comes out of adversity.  How do you see children dealing with adversity?  What I see are children that throw hissy fits over the least little inconvenience (I also see adults doing this as well).  I do not believe that is instilling courage in anyone.  Yet, we continue to push sheltering and redirection as the most beneficial methods of raising children.

The Trouble with the "Perfect" Environment
At this point I want to take an in depth look at the two types of disciplining techniques I find to be the most at fault for creating our "fragile" generation.  The first is what I will refer to as sheltering, but it comes with many and various labels.  Basically, this deals with the discipline technique where adults try to prepare for every contingency and try to create environments that are perfectly safe.  Number one, this is impossible.  I guarantee for every "perfect" environment there exists a child that will find some way to hurt himself/herself or others.  For this reason, providers are put in a position of enormous pressure to maintain said impossible "perfect" environment and hung out to dry when they fail.  Unfortunately, this is almost a given.  I have seen so many good providers completely devastated and villianized when that time comes where a child finds a way around their "perfect" environment.  Yet, these types of environments are not even in the best interests of the child.  As I stated earlier, courage comes with adversity.  Adversity involves risk-taking.  Risk-taking in these types of environments is squashed in all but the most stubborn of children.  Children have to learn how to weigh risks in order to make good decisions.  Helicopter society is going to have to back off or we will continue to raise generation after generation of adults with no concept of how to deal with fear or despair other than to be dominated by them.

The Trouble with Redirection
The other major misstep we are making as a society involves redirection.  In theory, this one sounds like a wonderful idea.  Rather than having to deal with constant power struggles with two year olds, we simply redirect them or try desperately to avoid situations where power struggles will occur.  However, avoiding power struggles with two year olds only puts you, the adult, in the position to deal with an extended period where children throw these irrational hissy fits.  Instead of dealing with this period of irrational hissy fits head-on, we are dealing with teenagers throwing hissy fits that would rival any two year old in history.  Unfortunately, hissy fits and power struggles are a part of a two year old's normal development.  When we avoid dealing with these hissy fits, we are depriving the child of learning to accept that the world does revolve around them.  This is a lesson a child should begin learning at the age of two, and when they do not, we end up with young adults with an extremely skewed version of reality.  All one has to do is look around at our society to know that I speak the uncompromising truth of the matter.  Another aspect of allowing children to work through their hissy fits instead of redirecting them has to do with what my husband calls the "suck up and deal with it" factor.  Courage has a lot to do with the ability to deal with unpleasant circumstances and make the best of a bad situation.  Have you ever considered that by avoiding power struggles we as a society are depriving our children of one of the most important aspects of courage - learning to deal with unpleasantness.  It starts at age two.

The Importance of Risks
To sum it all up, if we want children to develop courage, we need to let them take risks.  We need to quit hovering over them and saving them from every little setback.  Let them flounder.  Let them work through their own difficulties.  Back off and let them be.  Also, do not let a few tears and hissy fits send you into compromising situations.  Let them cry and scream and flail.  Stand your ground.  They must learn that the world does not revolve around them if you want to have adults that can truly function in the real world.  This will breed children with resilience and character capable of overcoming what life throws their way.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Building Oral Language in Children

This post will deal with the important task of building oral language skills in children.  It has been proven that children from homes with parents that have a college education do better in school than children from parents without a college education.  Why is that?  The children from educated parents hear on average 1000 more words per day than children from parents without a college education.  This translates into a higher working oral vocabulary for these children, and it makes a huge difference in school readiness.

The Importance of Oral Language Skills
Oral language skills really do make or break a child's ability to decode words either using the phonics method of reading instruction or the whole language method of reading instruction.  In fact, it is extremely important for children who will be taught to read using the whole language method.  Children taught using the phonics method still benefit from a rich oral language base.

What makes oral language so important?  When children have a rich oral vocabulary, they have basically prewired their brains for language acquisition.  This benefits reading, writing, and foreign language acquisition later in life.  Children are born with millions of neurons and all through early childhood the brain either makes connections or prunes connections.  When children are exposed to rich language experiences, the brain makes more permanent connections in the section of the brain designated for language.  When children are not exposed to rich language experiences, the brain makes fewer connections and prunes more in the section of the brain designated for language.  This really has significant impact when a child reaches school-age.  Those early connections make reading much easier for those that have them.  For those that do not have them, reading and all language based skills become  much more of a challenge.  Lack of money is not the main detrimental aspect of poverty on children.  It is this language deficiency that seems to accompany poverty that truly puts these children at a disadvantage.

The Decline of Oral Language Skills
In the not so distant past, it seemed that only children from at risk environments seemed to experience this language deficiency.  However, recent trends from those of us on the front lines of childcare have seen the language immaturity of children skyrocket despite parents' socio-economic status.  The trend of educational level of parents still seems to be holding somewhat true, but even children from educated parents are showing less oral language skills than children from educated parents just five years ago.  What has changed?  The level of technology use is what has changed.  Now, instead of having conversations with their children, parents often hand them a phone or other device to keep them occupied.  As childcare providers we see it everyday.  Parents come in to pick up their children talking on their cell phones.  These parents continue their conversations while they sign out their children, grab the child and his/her stuff, and walk out the door still having the same conversation on their phone.  The scenario is exactly the same in reverse at drop-off time except the parents will take a small break to kiss and hug their child goodbye before they go out the door still talking on their phone.  How many times have you seen a child in a public place being pacified with an electronic device while the parent shops or does other things?  Psychologists are beginning to raise the alarm about the lack of real social skills among today's young adults because of social media and electronic communication devices.  This trend is also greatly affecting children's oral language skills.

What Can We Do?
Unfortunately, as childcare providers there is only so much we can do to counter these trends.  We can work hard to provide rich language experiences for children while in our care, but we do not have them all the time.  The lack of language experiences during the rest of their time has an affect on these children.  Even though it is not fair, it falls to us to try to educate parents as to the importance of providing rich language experiences for their children all the time.  Following are some suggestions for parents to help them do a better job of hardwiring their little ones for a lifetime of language learning.

READ!!!!!!
The first and probably one of the most important activities a parent can do for a child is to read to them. However, getting parents to read to children can be one of the most difficult endeavors anyone undertakes.  Some school systems have gone to extreme measures to make sure parents of early elementary children read to their children.  My granddaughter's kindergarten teacher has my daughter document how many books she reads to my granddaughter every week.  It is part of my granddaughter's grade.  I use a more subtle approach at my childcare by providing "traveling suitcases" for the children to take home over the weekend.  I cannot tell you how many parents have come in Monday morning complaining about how many times they had to read that book over the weekend, and I simply smile to myself thinking how that parent grew up over the weekend despite himself/herself.  However, I have also had parents refuse to take the suitcases home because they did not want to fool with them.  As I said, there is only so much you can do as a childcare provider, but never quit trying.

Sit-Down Meals
The second suggestion for parents involves encouraging them to have sit-down meals that are electronic-free.  Again, in our society getting parents to do this one is just as difficult as trying to get them to read.  Some people simply cannot go for any amount of time away from their smart phones.  It is sad.  However, the electronic-free aspect of this suggestion presents only half the problem.  It absolutely amazes me how many people do not cook meals anymore.  They eat in the vehicle on their way to wherever or they pick up fast food and everyone disperses with their food to various rooms of the house and usually engages with some form of electronic device from televisions to video games.  Having sit-down meals in our society has nearly become extinct, and it is affecting the oral language skills of our children.  Sit-down mealtimes provide invaluable conversation between adults and children.  Even when the conversation involves only the adults for a time, it is important for children to listen to this type of conversation.  When children are privy to adult conversation, they have better oral vocabularies.

Do Not Dumb Down for Children
The last of my suggestions deals with how adults talk to children.  When my biological children were small, I never dumbed down my vocabulary for them.  I talked to them as if they were a person.  Some people do not realize how much they dumb down their vocabulary for children, and it does the children more harm than good.  Children need to hear a wide variety of language even when they are small.  The more exposure they have to these bigger words, the more likely it is that these words will become a part of their oral vocabulary.  I still talk to the children in my care the same way I talked to my biological children.  I use some big words.  If I get a funny look from them, I simply explain the word and go on.  People have commented over the years about how impressive the oral vocabularies of the children in my care are in comparison to the other children around them.  There is a reason for that.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Teaching Children to Be Persistent

This post will deal with the task of teaching children to stick to a task in the midst of trials and tribulations.  I have written a post on diligence.  Persistence deals with sticking to something when the going gets tough.  Diligence, on the other hand, deals more with simply sticking with something until it is finished.

The "Fragile" Generation
Children in today's society have been referred to as the "fragile" generation.  When they meet with the least little resistance, they crumple and give up entirely.  What has caused this upcoming generation to be so fragile?  There are many related culprits.  However, the main one has to be our overemphasis on positive reinforcement.  We are raising a generation that does not know how to deal with negative reinforcement.  Is that such a bad thing?  Absolutely.  Negative reinforcement just happens to be built into our universe.  We cannot escape it.  When you jump off a building, you will go down whether or not that happens to be what you intended.  It is called gravity.  When you choose to ignore the laws of nature, you will become acquainted with negative consequences.  Maybe that is why for thousands of years, parents have used negative reinforcement to train their children.  It has only been in the last 50 years or so that childhood "experts" have decided that children must be trained solely using positive reinforcement.  I would say their grand experiment has been been an utter failure.  Children must have positive and negative reinforcement in equal measures to develop into functioning adults.

The Idealist View of Childhood
Another culprit on the list of causes involves our society's idealistic views of childhood.  According to the "experts" children should be allowed to do what they want without having restraints put on them.  Instead of being told what to do, children should have choices and be the one in charge of their activities.  Childhood should be a magical time full of wonderful ooey gooey moments without any thoughts of the bad realities of our world.  All of this sounds so wonderful in theory, however, it does not produce functioning adults.  What it does produce are young adults with no sense of reality that come into adulthood in need of almost constant counseling in order to deal with the realities of the adult world.  That might be wonderful job security for the counseling profession, but it does not bode well for our society at large.  We know we are in trouble when a college student cannot deal with getting a "C" that they fully deserve without going into the depths of despair so hard they require medication.  I remember getting my first "C" in college.  It really bummed me out, but I also had to admit that I put almost no effort in that class and fully deserved what I got.  Therein lies the huge difference.  I was used to negative reinforcement and therefore, put the blame where it squarely belonged - on me.

A Society of Victims
That brings me to the last major culprit - our society of victims.  In this society it is always someone else's fault.  Children blame their parents.  Parents blame their children.  Students blame the teachers and on and on and on.  People do not take responsibility for their own actions, which is one of the most basic components of persistence.  In order to be able to persevere, a person has to understand his/her part in the failure.  A person cannot fix something unless he/she knows what is broken.  That takes a great deal of self-awareness and self-acceptance not self-esteem.  Self-esteem and our overemphasis of it has caused our society of victims.  We feel good about ourselves without understanding ourselves at all.  That has to be the most useless trait in a person.  When we take a honest evaluation of ourselves, we put ourselves in a place where we can change.  Changing for the better produces a self-esteem that actually does good rather than harm.  The self esteem that has no bearing on positive results makes children believe that the world owes them.  That produces a society of victims.  Victims crumple to the ground and do not persevere through adversity.

The Need for Negative Reinforcement
Let us take this into the early childhood realm.  If we want persistent children instead of fragile children, we must use negative reinforcement in equal measures with our positive reinforcement.  Children cannot gain experience in dealing with the negative aspects of our world if we constantly protect them from it.  I wish that were not the case, but wishing does not change that we live in a fallen world and all the wishing in the world will not make it a utopia.  If you want to think deeply about a philosophical topic, every time a society has tried to build a utopia on this earth, they have caused the opposite to evolve instead.  Guess what?  The same is true about trying to build a perfect childhood.  You end up creating people who have great difficulty growing up.  We must let children have struggles and trials and tribulations.  If we do not, we deprive them of the ability to deal with the life in which they were born.  Persistence comes from working through difficulties.  We cannot attain this particular character trait without problems.  Let children work through their own problems as much as possible.  Above all, please restrain yourself from saving a child from their consequences.  Those consequences are vitally important to that child's development.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457