This post will continue the discussion of Communication for 2 1/2 to 3 years olds for the component Receptive Language. Expressive Language will be covered in Part 3. We will finish up the remaining 4 performance indicators for this component. Remember I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS).
We will now pick up our discussion for the learning expectation: Understands questions, some abstract concepts, and simple directions. The next performance indicator is: Understands night and day and has a simple understanding of the concept of time. This is another performance indicator that has been adversely affected by several trends in our current culture. Back 20 to 30 years ago, children spent more time outdoors than children do today. This has actually affected how children process the passing of time. When children spend the majority of the their time indoors, they do not notice the difference in day and night. This used to be one of those areas where children developed a sense of the passing of time from life experience. Now we live in a 24/7 world and the cycles are not as clear as they used to be. Further complicating this particular performance indicator is the trend for lax bedtime and sleeping schedules. Many children do not have a set bedtime anymore. They have become accustomed to staying up at night and sleeping in during the morning hours. Night and day do not have the same meaning for children without regular bedtime schedules. I have had 3 and 4 year olds come through my door with no real concept of night and day until I started to regulate their schedules and talk about night and day. I really wish this nation would come to grips with what our "new parenting" philosophies are truly doing to our children.
The next performance indicator on our list is: Understands color and can recognize primary colors (red, yellow, blue). This particular performance indicator just happens to be one of my sticky points with the "learn through play" people. This skill falls on the left brain. Learning through play mostly covers right brain skills. Therefore, trying to teach the colors without direct instruction is going the long way around the mountain. Actually, many of the activities prescribed to teach colors involve direct instruction indirectly. The pure learning through play philosophy expects children to pick up information simply from life experience and play. Children have to be told that color is red, yellow, or blue at some point, which is direct instruction by the way. Games for learning the colors almost always involve the adult calling out the names of the colors. Guess what? If you do just a little pure direct instruction one-on-one with this age group, they can learn all the colors not just the primary ones. It only takes 5 minutes per day and involves you calling the colors and having them try to call the colors on their own. Children will pick up the colors much faster when you do more than just name every color you see. Practice makes perfect. A little drill and instruction goes a very long way.
Coming in next on the list of performance indicators is: Begins to demonstrate a sense of humor and is responsive to silly situations (e.g., teacher tries to put shoes and socks on hands rather than feet). This one actually has more to do with life experience than direct instruction. Children pick up a sense of humor from the other people in their life whether they be friends, caregivers, parents, etc. When a child does not begin to demonstrate a sense of humor by the age of 3, this could be a sign of a developmental delay. It also could be a sign of living in a toxic stress environment. Children that are never exposed to the lighter side of life cannot develop a sense of humor. Some children on the autism spectrum have a very difficult time processing humor until they are much older, and therefore do not display a sense of humor at this age. If you have a 3 year old child that does not understand humor, testing for developmental delays would probably be a very good idea. Toxic stress can cause otherwise normally developing children to be delayed.
The last performance indicator for this learning expectation involves: Holds up fingers when asked how old he is. This is another performance indicator that has left me flabbergasted over the last several years. Something is going so wrong with children's fine motor skills that two year olds and three year olds are nearly incapable of this particular performance indicator. Holding up two fingers used to be one of the cutest signs of toddlerhood. However, have you asked many two year olds how old they are and just gotten a blank stare recently? It is happening at a frightening level to me. As childcare providers we have now become physical therapists when it comes to holding up fingers for numbers. I have had to work hard for weeks on end to help 3 and 4 year olds learn to hold up fingers for numbers. I have given up trying to teach 2 year olds unless it comes naturally to them. Something major has been lost, and I have not pinpointed what that is just yet. It may be thumb dexterity because the children do not seem able to use their thumb to hold their fingers. I have seen a serious downslide in fine motor skills across the board. Not only have I seen the lack of fine motor skills for this particular performance indicator, but I have also seen a huge uptick in immaturity in two year olds. Many two year olds are no where near the point of even understanding age enough to answer that question. I guess I am old enough to truly see the major difference in the maturity level of children. Two year olds could answer this question 10, 20, 30 years ago. What has happened? In an age where the expectations for education have been increased for younger ages, we are on a track for a major train wreck as the maturity level of preschoolers continues to decline at an alarming rate. This serious maturity issue will probably hit the kindergarten teachers much harder this year than they have ever experienced. The childcare providers on the front lines have seen this coming and increasing over the last 3 or 4 years. What I could accomplish 7 or 8 years ago before a child hit kindergarten has had to be greatly adjusted for many children. I find myself doing much more backtracking, speech therapy, and physical therapy than ever these days. This is going to have major impact on our educational infrastructure sooner than we know.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Dealing with Children that Argue
This post will look at one of the most emotionally draining tools used by children - arguing. Even though I will tote the latest conventional wisdom on dealing with arguers, I also understand that sometimes it is not that simple. For some families arguing is a sport in which they take great pride. Dealing with children and adults from these families can be exhausting. I will be looking at different types of arguers and some strategies to help deal with them.
It Takes Two to Tango
Of course, the standard advice on this subject is that it takes two to tango. If you refuse to argue with the child, there will not be an argument. However, I understand that sometimes you are mid-argument before you even realize what has happened. Some children can be extremely sneaky about their tactics and draw you into the argument ever so subtly. The different types of arguers use different tactics to try to pull you into an argument because children understand whether the adult does or not that if they get you into the argument, they have already nearly won the battle. I say nearly because it is still possible to shut it down midstream if you have to do it that way. As adults we have to stay on our toes or we will find ourselves backed into a corner by a three year old, which is so embarrassing. Never underestimate the lengths to which a child will go in order to get what he/she wants. With that in mind, here are the types of arguers.
The Whiner
The first type of arguer is the whiner. These children combine arguing and whining in order to hit you with a double whammy. However, these are also the easiest to shut down because both types of manipulation call for the same strategy. Whining should be something you as the adult tunes out anyway. One of the best lines I have ever heard on a parenting advice site was this, "I don't speak whine." When we automatically shut down a child's ploys when they use a whiney voice, the whiney arguer will also be shut down immediately. However, do not be naive and think the child is through. The game has just simply begun.
The Straight Forward Arguer
The next type of arguer is the full-on straight forward arguer. These children engage immediately when they receive the wrong answer. Their strategy is to hit hard and fast and stay after it until they get the answer they want. Again, if you catch these right off the bat, you can stop this one in his/her tracks fairly easily. Not long ago I saw an article that touted how to shut down arguing with three simple words. Those three words are "asked and answered." For preschoolers you will have to be a lot more direct. I always turn the tide on my preschoolers by asking them what I said. I usually have to ask that question several times very adamantly before they actually answer me, but when they tell me what I said, their little faces fall because they know they have gone down in defeat. When they have to say the answer they do not like, they have to concede that the question has already been answered.
The Pleaders
Next on our list involves the pleaders. These children pour on the charm when they receive the wrong answer. They give you the puppy dog eyes and angelic faces trying to persuade you to change your mind. This tactic is usually employed over something where the children know you are not as adamant in your opinion. Children are smart as the dickens. They know when and where wiggle room can be found. If you start to waver, you can be absolutely assured this particular tactic will be employed. Standing your ground with this one is not as easy as the other two. Many times when you do have to stand your ground once they have begged, you will feel awful about having to say no. Sometimes when you give in to the pleading, you feel awful because you let them manipulate you when you should have stood your ground. This particular tactic has to be short-circuited long before children employ it. Many times we adults can be very guilty of saying "no" before we even consider something. If a request has some merit, train yourself to use the "I"ll think about it" option. Now, in order for this to stop the pleading, you must make sure the children understand pestering will get an absolute "no." Once you have thought it through, give your answer and tell them it is final. If they start the pleading again shut it down it fast with "I said no and that's the end of it."
Those That Demand Explanations
The last type we will look at are the ones that demand an explanation. These children will probably be lawyers sometime in the future because they have a counter point for every possible point they foresee you putting forward. If you inadvertently find yourself sucked up in an argument not knowing how you got there, you are probably dealing with one of these children. They have laid the trap well. They wait until you are nearly incoherent with stress or exhaustion before they make their case. They know that if you ever fall into the trap of trying to explain your reasoning, they have you. Many of these children are experts at what I call "point-blanking" someone. They have all their counterpoints ready to go and will deliver them rapid fire until they confuse you. Then when they have punched holes in all your reasoning because you are too tired to think on your feet, you will either give them what they want or say in frustration "because I said so." If "because I said so" has to come out of your mouth, you know you will never hear the end of how lame that is and how unreasonable you are being. These children are by far the most difficult to handle. You must train yourself to never let yourself get sucked up into having to explain yourself. Many times, these can be shut down with the "I"ll think about it" option. If you have to say no, do not try to explain your reasoning until later. In the heat of the moment, let your no be no and let them scream.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
It Takes Two to Tango
Of course, the standard advice on this subject is that it takes two to tango. If you refuse to argue with the child, there will not be an argument. However, I understand that sometimes you are mid-argument before you even realize what has happened. Some children can be extremely sneaky about their tactics and draw you into the argument ever so subtly. The different types of arguers use different tactics to try to pull you into an argument because children understand whether the adult does or not that if they get you into the argument, they have already nearly won the battle. I say nearly because it is still possible to shut it down midstream if you have to do it that way. As adults we have to stay on our toes or we will find ourselves backed into a corner by a three year old, which is so embarrassing. Never underestimate the lengths to which a child will go in order to get what he/she wants. With that in mind, here are the types of arguers.
The Whiner
The first type of arguer is the whiner. These children combine arguing and whining in order to hit you with a double whammy. However, these are also the easiest to shut down because both types of manipulation call for the same strategy. Whining should be something you as the adult tunes out anyway. One of the best lines I have ever heard on a parenting advice site was this, "I don't speak whine." When we automatically shut down a child's ploys when they use a whiney voice, the whiney arguer will also be shut down immediately. However, do not be naive and think the child is through. The game has just simply begun.
The Straight Forward Arguer
The next type of arguer is the full-on straight forward arguer. These children engage immediately when they receive the wrong answer. Their strategy is to hit hard and fast and stay after it until they get the answer they want. Again, if you catch these right off the bat, you can stop this one in his/her tracks fairly easily. Not long ago I saw an article that touted how to shut down arguing with three simple words. Those three words are "asked and answered." For preschoolers you will have to be a lot more direct. I always turn the tide on my preschoolers by asking them what I said. I usually have to ask that question several times very adamantly before they actually answer me, but when they tell me what I said, their little faces fall because they know they have gone down in defeat. When they have to say the answer they do not like, they have to concede that the question has already been answered.
The Pleaders
Next on our list involves the pleaders. These children pour on the charm when they receive the wrong answer. They give you the puppy dog eyes and angelic faces trying to persuade you to change your mind. This tactic is usually employed over something where the children know you are not as adamant in your opinion. Children are smart as the dickens. They know when and where wiggle room can be found. If you start to waver, you can be absolutely assured this particular tactic will be employed. Standing your ground with this one is not as easy as the other two. Many times when you do have to stand your ground once they have begged, you will feel awful about having to say no. Sometimes when you give in to the pleading, you feel awful because you let them manipulate you when you should have stood your ground. This particular tactic has to be short-circuited long before children employ it. Many times we adults can be very guilty of saying "no" before we even consider something. If a request has some merit, train yourself to use the "I"ll think about it" option. Now, in order for this to stop the pleading, you must make sure the children understand pestering will get an absolute "no." Once you have thought it through, give your answer and tell them it is final. If they start the pleading again shut it down it fast with "I said no and that's the end of it."
Those That Demand Explanations
The last type we will look at are the ones that demand an explanation. These children will probably be lawyers sometime in the future because they have a counter point for every possible point they foresee you putting forward. If you inadvertently find yourself sucked up in an argument not knowing how you got there, you are probably dealing with one of these children. They have laid the trap well. They wait until you are nearly incoherent with stress or exhaustion before they make their case. They know that if you ever fall into the trap of trying to explain your reasoning, they have you. Many of these children are experts at what I call "point-blanking" someone. They have all their counterpoints ready to go and will deliver them rapid fire until they confuse you. Then when they have punched holes in all your reasoning because you are too tired to think on your feet, you will either give them what they want or say in frustration "because I said so." If "because I said so" has to come out of your mouth, you know you will never hear the end of how lame that is and how unreasonable you are being. These children are by far the most difficult to handle. You must train yourself to never let yourself get sucked up into having to explain yourself. Many times, these can be shut down with the "I"ll think about it" option. If you have to say no, do not try to explain your reasoning until later. In the heat of the moment, let your no be no and let them scream.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Language Development for 2 1/2 to 3 year olds - Communication (Part 1)
This post will deal with language development instead of cognitive development. I will discuss the component of Receptive Language with its learning expectation and some of the performance indicators. The rest of the performance indicators will be covered in Part 2 and 3. Remember I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS).
The learning expectation for the component Receptive Language is as follows: Understands questions, some abstract concepts, and simple directions. The first performance indicator is: Knows and answers "who" and "what" questions. As I have stated before the TN-ELDS goes under the assumption that a child has had quality developmental experiences up until this point in his/her life. In reality we know that unfortunately having quality developmental experiences can be the exception instead of the rule in today's culture. The ability to answer "who" and "what" questions will greatly depend on how well-developed a child's language skills are at this point in his/her life. It has been my experience that some children have well-developed language skills at this point and some are barely talking. What makes the difference? Most of the time it involves the level of conversation that takes place in the home. Also, the level of the parents education also plays a huge role. Parents with higher levels of education tend to have more conversations in the home using a wider vocabulary than parents with a high school diploma or less. In today's culture, another huge factor involves the use of cell phones and other technology by the parents. It is just a sad fact of life that if a parent constantly talks or texts or goes online on his/her cell phone, the amount of real conversations that a child has will be significantly less. This particular new phenomenon has actually made children of degree bearing parents fall into the same category as those from parents with only a high school diploma. Language does not develop in the absence of language. Parents put up your cell phones and talk to your children.
The next performance indicator is: Recognizes objects and pictures by use of (depicted) object (e.g., "Show me what you sit on."). As will be the theme of this particular domain, how well-developed a child's language skills are will determine if they conquer this particular performance indicator by the age of 3 years old. Both this performance indicator and the previous one need for an adult to sit down with a child using either pictures or books designed for this purpose to develop these skills. They can emerge from just life experience by the age of 4, but that will put the child in a terrible position when he/she hits kindergarten. This pointing at pictures and asking questions of the child should start between a child's first and second birthday. In recent years I have had to incorporate these types of activities into my preschool repertoire because I had so many children lagging in these types of language skills. The older children pull up quickly, but I have to lay a foundation first to build other skills.
Next on our list of performance indicators involves: Easily follows simple conversation. Again, this one will be determined by how much a child gets to hear conversation. However, this particular component involves receptive language and not expressive language. A child will understand conversation much faster than he/she will be able to carry on a conversation. A child that is barely talking can still understand quite a bit of what is said to that child. If a child is not showing signs of being able to follow a simple conversation by the age of 3 years old, it might be prudent to have that child tested for developmental delays and/or hearing issues.
The last performance indicator I will cover in this post is: Understands basic concepts and contrasts (e.g., big/little, up/down, yes/no, come/go, run/stop). This has been one of those areas that has left me flabbergasted over the years. I have had 4 year olds come through my door that had difficulty with many of what I call "position and direction" words. After I establish that a child knows basic body parts, this is the next subject I tackle before we move on to other areas. I have learned to never take for granted that a child knows anything these days. I cover everything to be sure and dig in when I find a problem. I have forty pairs of position and direction words that I cover. Usually I will take a week and cover one pair with 2 year olds. With 3 and 4 year olds I cover one pair for three days instead of a week unless I see the child having major difficulties. This is yet another clue that a child might have developmental delays if a 4 year old cannot hang with the three day schedule. Sometimes I have had to wait to cover these concepts until a child is 3 years old or older. When I encounter difficulties, I will expand the time we cover each pair of words. Do not expect children to pick up these concepts simply from life experience. This will be an area that needs direct instruction and adult supervision in today's culture.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The learning expectation for the component Receptive Language is as follows: Understands questions, some abstract concepts, and simple directions. The first performance indicator is: Knows and answers "who" and "what" questions. As I have stated before the TN-ELDS goes under the assumption that a child has had quality developmental experiences up until this point in his/her life. In reality we know that unfortunately having quality developmental experiences can be the exception instead of the rule in today's culture. The ability to answer "who" and "what" questions will greatly depend on how well-developed a child's language skills are at this point in his/her life. It has been my experience that some children have well-developed language skills at this point and some are barely talking. What makes the difference? Most of the time it involves the level of conversation that takes place in the home. Also, the level of the parents education also plays a huge role. Parents with higher levels of education tend to have more conversations in the home using a wider vocabulary than parents with a high school diploma or less. In today's culture, another huge factor involves the use of cell phones and other technology by the parents. It is just a sad fact of life that if a parent constantly talks or texts or goes online on his/her cell phone, the amount of real conversations that a child has will be significantly less. This particular new phenomenon has actually made children of degree bearing parents fall into the same category as those from parents with only a high school diploma. Language does not develop in the absence of language. Parents put up your cell phones and talk to your children.
The next performance indicator is: Recognizes objects and pictures by use of (depicted) object (e.g., "Show me what you sit on."). As will be the theme of this particular domain, how well-developed a child's language skills are will determine if they conquer this particular performance indicator by the age of 3 years old. Both this performance indicator and the previous one need for an adult to sit down with a child using either pictures or books designed for this purpose to develop these skills. They can emerge from just life experience by the age of 4, but that will put the child in a terrible position when he/she hits kindergarten. This pointing at pictures and asking questions of the child should start between a child's first and second birthday. In recent years I have had to incorporate these types of activities into my preschool repertoire because I had so many children lagging in these types of language skills. The older children pull up quickly, but I have to lay a foundation first to build other skills.
Next on our list of performance indicators involves: Easily follows simple conversation. Again, this one will be determined by how much a child gets to hear conversation. However, this particular component involves receptive language and not expressive language. A child will understand conversation much faster than he/she will be able to carry on a conversation. A child that is barely talking can still understand quite a bit of what is said to that child. If a child is not showing signs of being able to follow a simple conversation by the age of 3 years old, it might be prudent to have that child tested for developmental delays and/or hearing issues.
The last performance indicator I will cover in this post is: Understands basic concepts and contrasts (e.g., big/little, up/down, yes/no, come/go, run/stop). This has been one of those areas that has left me flabbergasted over the years. I have had 4 year olds come through my door that had difficulty with many of what I call "position and direction" words. After I establish that a child knows basic body parts, this is the next subject I tackle before we move on to other areas. I have learned to never take for granted that a child knows anything these days. I cover everything to be sure and dig in when I find a problem. I have forty pairs of position and direction words that I cover. Usually I will take a week and cover one pair with 2 year olds. With 3 and 4 year olds I cover one pair for three days instead of a week unless I see the child having major difficulties. This is yet another clue that a child might have developmental delays if a 4 year old cannot hang with the three day schedule. Sometimes I have had to wait to cover these concepts until a child is 3 years old or older. When I encounter difficulties, I will expand the time we cover each pair of words. Do not expect children to pick up these concepts simply from life experience. This will be an area that needs direct instruction and adult supervision in today's culture.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Dealing with Picky Eaters - Tips for Parents Only
This post will be like an addendum to my other posts on picky eating. The tips contained in this post will probably not be regulation friendly in most states. Therefore, these tips are for parents only. Fixing picky eating really should start in the home anyway.
The One-Bite Rule
The most successful strategy I have ever seen to teach children to eat is the "one-bite rule." In my home when my children were growing up we had something very similar to this. Our rule involved eating some of every food served and sometimes that amounted to about one bite. For years in my childcare I had the one-bite rule in place until the state nearly shut me down over it. It seems that children should be allowed to say "no' to anything even if it is detrimental to their well-being in a childcare setting. This is why I warn you not to try this except at home. However, because I used this strategy in a childcare setting for years, I can give you a fairly detailed report on how well this actually works.
The First Stage
The first stage of using this rule will be the most difficult and can last up to 6 to 9 months for the most stubborn. You will probably have to get extremely creative to get those first bites down without an all out war. Sometimes the war cannot be avoided, and you will have to draw the line in the sand. Remember, you are the parent in this situation. Just tell your children over and over and over that they can eat one bite of anything. Sometimes toddlers will eat a bite if you feed it to them instead of expecting them to feed themselves. The absolute best scenario is to feed your children a large variety of real food from the time they begin eating solid food. Follow the suggestions of the USDA food program for infants for the best results. In a childcare using the USDA food program we can only give the children true vegetables and fruits. We cannot serve the dinners or the desserts. We feed them the cereals either mixed with formula or the infant juice. Make sure you feed them a large variety of both vegetables and fruits in order to prepare them for these foods after the age of one. At the age of one, childcares switch to table food that is chopped. Again, at this stage make sure to serve a large variety of both fruits and vegetables. If you do this when they are infants and toddlers, you will not have serious issues unless they fall into the category of the extreme, extremely picky eaters. Those children will call for war.
The Slow Evolution of Better Eating
After you survive the first stage and establish the routine of taking one bite of every food that is served, the next stage will be the slow evolution of better eating. The experts say that a child has to try a food 10 times before they will eat it. For some children that number should be 50 to 100. However, over the course of time the children will learn to actually like some of the fruits and vegetables. Sometimes this will happen immediately. I have had many children fight like they were in danger of their lives over taking a bite of something only to eat every last bit of it once they actually take that first bite. Surprisingly, this happens with beets and boys for some reason. Most of the time the progression is more gradual. You will notice them eating several bites of some of the food instead of just one. There will always be some foods the children will take their one bite and be done with it. However, my philosophy on that is "if a child is eating one bite of a vegetable once per week, that is far better than eating no bites of that vegetable in their entire childhood." After the one year mark with this rule in place and followed consistently, the results are amazing. Many, many people have come into my childcare and stood in amazement at what the children were scarfing down like it was the best food in the world. This really does work.
The Gaggers
Before I leave this subject, I want to give you some tips on dealing with one of the worst types of picky eaters - the gaggers. These are the children that gag every time a food they do not like goes into their mouth. Many experts will tell you that the gagging is an involuntary reflex and cannot be overcome. That is not true. The children gag because they are thinking of the food as a foreign object and not food. In that way, the gagging is an involuntary reflex, but it is caused by the child and not the food. When you can get the child to think of the substance in his/her mouth as food, the gagging can be stopped. The trick is to get them to chew. Once a child begins to chew the food, the gagging stops. At my childcare, we do the "chew chant." When a known gagger starts to take a bite, everyone in the childcare will begin to chant "chew, chew, chew, etc." It is amazing how well this actually works. Not only have you switched the mindset of the child by encouraging him/her to chew, but you have also put very powerful positive peer influence into effect. One of the most priceless memories I have involves the look on the face of a gagger when they eat a food for the first time without gagging. The pride and joy that exude from that child cannot be equaled. That child just conquered a major obstacle. That is how you build true self-esteem in a child by helping them conquer a major difficulty. By the way, the chewing trick works for adults that gag, too.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The One-Bite Rule
The most successful strategy I have ever seen to teach children to eat is the "one-bite rule." In my home when my children were growing up we had something very similar to this. Our rule involved eating some of every food served and sometimes that amounted to about one bite. For years in my childcare I had the one-bite rule in place until the state nearly shut me down over it. It seems that children should be allowed to say "no' to anything even if it is detrimental to their well-being in a childcare setting. This is why I warn you not to try this except at home. However, because I used this strategy in a childcare setting for years, I can give you a fairly detailed report on how well this actually works.
The First Stage
The first stage of using this rule will be the most difficult and can last up to 6 to 9 months for the most stubborn. You will probably have to get extremely creative to get those first bites down without an all out war. Sometimes the war cannot be avoided, and you will have to draw the line in the sand. Remember, you are the parent in this situation. Just tell your children over and over and over that they can eat one bite of anything. Sometimes toddlers will eat a bite if you feed it to them instead of expecting them to feed themselves. The absolute best scenario is to feed your children a large variety of real food from the time they begin eating solid food. Follow the suggestions of the USDA food program for infants for the best results. In a childcare using the USDA food program we can only give the children true vegetables and fruits. We cannot serve the dinners or the desserts. We feed them the cereals either mixed with formula or the infant juice. Make sure you feed them a large variety of both vegetables and fruits in order to prepare them for these foods after the age of one. At the age of one, childcares switch to table food that is chopped. Again, at this stage make sure to serve a large variety of both fruits and vegetables. If you do this when they are infants and toddlers, you will not have serious issues unless they fall into the category of the extreme, extremely picky eaters. Those children will call for war.
The Slow Evolution of Better Eating
After you survive the first stage and establish the routine of taking one bite of every food that is served, the next stage will be the slow evolution of better eating. The experts say that a child has to try a food 10 times before they will eat it. For some children that number should be 50 to 100. However, over the course of time the children will learn to actually like some of the fruits and vegetables. Sometimes this will happen immediately. I have had many children fight like they were in danger of their lives over taking a bite of something only to eat every last bit of it once they actually take that first bite. Surprisingly, this happens with beets and boys for some reason. Most of the time the progression is more gradual. You will notice them eating several bites of some of the food instead of just one. There will always be some foods the children will take their one bite and be done with it. However, my philosophy on that is "if a child is eating one bite of a vegetable once per week, that is far better than eating no bites of that vegetable in their entire childhood." After the one year mark with this rule in place and followed consistently, the results are amazing. Many, many people have come into my childcare and stood in amazement at what the children were scarfing down like it was the best food in the world. This really does work.
The Gaggers
Before I leave this subject, I want to give you some tips on dealing with one of the worst types of picky eaters - the gaggers. These are the children that gag every time a food they do not like goes into their mouth. Many experts will tell you that the gagging is an involuntary reflex and cannot be overcome. That is not true. The children gag because they are thinking of the food as a foreign object and not food. In that way, the gagging is an involuntary reflex, but it is caused by the child and not the food. When you can get the child to think of the substance in his/her mouth as food, the gagging can be stopped. The trick is to get them to chew. Once a child begins to chew the food, the gagging stops. At my childcare, we do the "chew chant." When a known gagger starts to take a bite, everyone in the childcare will begin to chant "chew, chew, chew, etc." It is amazing how well this actually works. Not only have you switched the mindset of the child by encouraging him/her to chew, but you have also put very powerful positive peer influence into effect. One of the most priceless memories I have involves the look on the face of a gagger when they eat a food for the first time without gagging. The pride and joy that exude from that child cannot be equaled. That child just conquered a major obstacle. That is how you build true self-esteem in a child by helping them conquer a major difficulty. By the way, the chewing trick works for adults that gag, too.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Dealing with Picky Eaters - The Extremely Picky
This post will look at the heart of this particular problem - the extremely picky eaters. Unfortunately, the percentage of extremely picky eaters has grown exponentially in the last 5 years. Used to be, I would have maybe 1 or 2 extremely picky eaters out of 7 children. Now, I am seeing 5 or 6 extremely picky eaters out of 7 children. With each passing year the level of pickiness in the new enrollees has been beyond belief. The children come in as extremely picky eaters 90% of the time now.
What do I mean by extremely picky eaters?
These are the children that eat no vegetables at all. They might eat one or two fruits but many of them eat no fruits either. Many of these children do not eat meat that is not a nugget and some will eat no meat whatsoever. The most baffling of the trends I have seen has been the children that will not touch macaroni and cheese. These children survive off of toasted pastries, cold cereal, and fast food. A large majority of these children will not touch white milk. Some will drink flavored milk and others will only drink fruit juice and juice flavored drinks.
The Violent Protest
Along with the extreme uptick in pickiness, the level of violent protest over the food has also grown exponentially in the last several years. That first day for these children can get ugly at snack and mealtimes. Now, I understand that children coming through my door experience culture shock at snack and mealtimes. Many of these children have never seen any of the food I serve because I do not serve toasted pastries, cold cereal, or fast food of any sort. I do not even serve french fries and tater tots or hamburgers and chicken nuggets for that matter. Plus, I only serve white milk. When these children sit down at mealtimes, the wailing ensues. "I want chocolate milk!" they will wail. I will calmly tell them I do not have chocolate milk. "I want cereal!" is the next cry regardless of what meal it is. Again, I will calmly tell them I do not have cereal. Then the flailing begins. I do not understand what is causing the flailing, but my tables are hard. I have had to put these children in time-out at mealtime for their own protection because they were trying very hard to give themselves a concussion. They will fall in the floor and thrash about as if they were having a seizure, but it is not a seizure. It is a plan old hissy fit. Sometimes the flailing goes on for days before the children realize I will not change the menu because they are throwing a fit. Next comes the spewing. You coax and plead with them to just try one little bitty bite until you actually succeed in making it into the mouth only to have the child spit it in your face. If they do not spit it in your face, they immediately gag. The gaggers are the worst. These children will gag until they make themselves throw up. It has gotten to the point that if after a week a child has not begun to settle down with the food issue, I terminate them. I do not want the child to starve, but on the other hand, I will not serve less nutritious food because they are flailing, spewing, and gagging. It just is not worth it.
What Do You Do?
At this point, you may be saying, "But I cannot afford to terminate all my extremely picky eaters." I completely understand that position because the number of picky eaters has grown so fiercely. Right now I will have no turnover for over a year, and I am dreading trying to start a new child after that point. I have an extremely hard conversation at enrollment about the food with the parents now. I want them to completely understand what my menu entails and what my policies are for substitutions. They have to understand that I will only allow a substitution with a doctor's note stating a true food allergy. If issues come up immediately, I will tell them that many other childcares in this town do not have the level of nutrition that we have here. If the food is a problem, you might want to find a different childcare. Even after this hard conversation, the parents are usually not prepared for the war that will ensue especially when they start trying to make the changes at home that I suggest. It really unnerves them to see the level of viciousness coming from their precious baby over eating nutritious food. Many parents cave and give the children what they want. However, they still want me to carry on the fight and deal with the demon their precious child turns into at mealtimes. They want their child to eat better. They just do not want to deal with what that entails. Before you take on this war, understand that processed food and sugar are highly addictive. Removing these substances from the children's diets will result in a nasty withdrawal process. This is why I suggest to make changes in baby steps. However, with new enrollees that cannot be accomplished because you have already made changes in which the other children have become accustomed. It is never a good idea to go backwards after good changes have been made. Therefore, I do not know how you avoid the ugliness unless you are starting from scratch every year. I will say that after 6 to 9 months of viciousness, it will ease, but that is a long time to deal with a very unhappy child. Unless the parents understand that it will take this long, you will also be dealing with very unhappy parents.
Bad eating habits are the bane of our society.
There are not very many people that truly make the choice to take on this particular monster. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard concerning children and good eating habits came from a father that was a chef. His advice was to withhold processed and sugary foods until a child was 4 or 5 years old. By then, good eating habits will have been established enough to withstand the occasional bit of junk food. This is great advice, but how many American parents will forego convenience to make sure their children eat properly until they are 4 or 5 years old? A very slim percentage. Therefore, this problem will permeate our society for many, many years to come. All we can do is try to do better with all that we are and pray that someday we will begin to make a difference at least in the life of one child at a time.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
What do I mean by extremely picky eaters?
These are the children that eat no vegetables at all. They might eat one or two fruits but many of them eat no fruits either. Many of these children do not eat meat that is not a nugget and some will eat no meat whatsoever. The most baffling of the trends I have seen has been the children that will not touch macaroni and cheese. These children survive off of toasted pastries, cold cereal, and fast food. A large majority of these children will not touch white milk. Some will drink flavored milk and others will only drink fruit juice and juice flavored drinks.
The Violent Protest
Along with the extreme uptick in pickiness, the level of violent protest over the food has also grown exponentially in the last several years. That first day for these children can get ugly at snack and mealtimes. Now, I understand that children coming through my door experience culture shock at snack and mealtimes. Many of these children have never seen any of the food I serve because I do not serve toasted pastries, cold cereal, or fast food of any sort. I do not even serve french fries and tater tots or hamburgers and chicken nuggets for that matter. Plus, I only serve white milk. When these children sit down at mealtimes, the wailing ensues. "I want chocolate milk!" they will wail. I will calmly tell them I do not have chocolate milk. "I want cereal!" is the next cry regardless of what meal it is. Again, I will calmly tell them I do not have cereal. Then the flailing begins. I do not understand what is causing the flailing, but my tables are hard. I have had to put these children in time-out at mealtime for their own protection because they were trying very hard to give themselves a concussion. They will fall in the floor and thrash about as if they were having a seizure, but it is not a seizure. It is a plan old hissy fit. Sometimes the flailing goes on for days before the children realize I will not change the menu because they are throwing a fit. Next comes the spewing. You coax and plead with them to just try one little bitty bite until you actually succeed in making it into the mouth only to have the child spit it in your face. If they do not spit it in your face, they immediately gag. The gaggers are the worst. These children will gag until they make themselves throw up. It has gotten to the point that if after a week a child has not begun to settle down with the food issue, I terminate them. I do not want the child to starve, but on the other hand, I will not serve less nutritious food because they are flailing, spewing, and gagging. It just is not worth it.
What Do You Do?
At this point, you may be saying, "But I cannot afford to terminate all my extremely picky eaters." I completely understand that position because the number of picky eaters has grown so fiercely. Right now I will have no turnover for over a year, and I am dreading trying to start a new child after that point. I have an extremely hard conversation at enrollment about the food with the parents now. I want them to completely understand what my menu entails and what my policies are for substitutions. They have to understand that I will only allow a substitution with a doctor's note stating a true food allergy. If issues come up immediately, I will tell them that many other childcares in this town do not have the level of nutrition that we have here. If the food is a problem, you might want to find a different childcare. Even after this hard conversation, the parents are usually not prepared for the war that will ensue especially when they start trying to make the changes at home that I suggest. It really unnerves them to see the level of viciousness coming from their precious baby over eating nutritious food. Many parents cave and give the children what they want. However, they still want me to carry on the fight and deal with the demon their precious child turns into at mealtimes. They want their child to eat better. They just do not want to deal with what that entails. Before you take on this war, understand that processed food and sugar are highly addictive. Removing these substances from the children's diets will result in a nasty withdrawal process. This is why I suggest to make changes in baby steps. However, with new enrollees that cannot be accomplished because you have already made changes in which the other children have become accustomed. It is never a good idea to go backwards after good changes have been made. Therefore, I do not know how you avoid the ugliness unless you are starting from scratch every year. I will say that after 6 to 9 months of viciousness, it will ease, but that is a long time to deal with a very unhappy child. Unless the parents understand that it will take this long, you will also be dealing with very unhappy parents.
Bad eating habits are the bane of our society.
There are not very many people that truly make the choice to take on this particular monster. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard concerning children and good eating habits came from a father that was a chef. His advice was to withhold processed and sugary foods until a child was 4 or 5 years old. By then, good eating habits will have been established enough to withstand the occasional bit of junk food. This is great advice, but how many American parents will forego convenience to make sure their children eat properly until they are 4 or 5 years old? A very slim percentage. Therefore, this problem will permeate our society for many, many years to come. All we can do is try to do better with all that we are and pray that someday we will begin to make a difference at least in the life of one child at a time.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Cognitive Development for 2 1/2 to 3 year olds - Early Literacy (Part 2)
This post will continue the discussion of cognitive development of 2 1/2 to 3 years in the Early Literacy area of learning. Remember I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS). These standards are meant to be used as a tool for the development of curriculum and not as a screening tool. Many older children may not meet all of these standards for various and assorted reasons. I chose this starting point because it represents the basic start to preschool.
First, we will look at the component - Auditory Discrimination with its three learning expectations and performance indicators. The first learning expectation involves Being aware of and identifying many sounds in the environment with the performance indicator: Identifies the source of familiar sounds in the environment and continues to notice new sounds. This particular learning expectation does occur naturally. Children are naturally curious about the sounds around them and can be extremely perceptive about familiar sounds. I can remember as a child knowing exactly when my mom was popping popcorn. I could tell the difference between popcorn hitting the pan and peas hitting the pan. Similarly, my own biological children knew exactly what we were having for breakfast when they heard me using the food chopper. That familiar sound meant homemade apple cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast. Sometimes in the childcare setting you, the provider, will notice a child that does not pick up on familiar sounds. This could be an indication of a physical or developmental problem but not always. If you do notice a child that does not pick up on familiar sounds, do some simple tests to see if the child does have a hearing issue. If they do, refer them to the appropriate professional service for diagnosis. Do not ever attempt to provide a diagnosis on your own. It is your job to refer not diagnose. Sometimes the child's hearing is fine but the child's ability to pay attention to details may not be. This can or cannot be a symptom of a developmental problem. Again a referral for testing would be appropriate. When you discover a problem in this area, discussing noises with the children on a regular basis will improve the child's ability to pay attention unless a serious developmental delay is present.
The second learning expectation is: Continues to distinguish between words with similar phonemes, such as pat and path. The performance indicator for this one: Makes accurate distinctions between words that contain very similar-sounding phonemes (e.g., path-pass, hat-pat, bug-bud, map-nap, shot-shop, hit-hat, etc.). Remember this is dealing with auditory discrimination and not speech-related development. A child should be able to tell the difference when you say path or pass even though they may say path for both for them. Whether a child reaches this particular one between 2 1/2 and 3 years old very much depends on how much language exposure the child has in his/her environment. Children that have language rich environments will reach this milestone at that age. Whereas, children from language poor environments may not reach this milestone until they are closer to 4 years old. Children that live in a language rich environment will hear 1000 different words per day through reading books and conversations. However, thanks to technology many children do not hear anywhere near that many words in their home setting. Having conversations with the children in your care is extremely important for the proper language development of those children. Read books to them and make mealtime discussions the norm at your facility. Give the children ample opportunity to hear the widest range of vocabulary possible in a day's time. It makes a huge difference.
The third learning expectation for the component Auditory Discrimination is: Discriminates among sounds based on volume and pitch - loud vs. soft, high vs. low, long vs short. The performance indicator for this one is: Responds appropriately when asked to speak with a different volume or to turn up or down the sound of a recording or a toy; can identify whether a sound is high or low, loud or soft, long or short when compared to another sound. This particular learning expectation will not occur naturally. This one must be instructed. This can be accomplished with simple exercises that demonstrate the opposites. I have found that recently children have come into my facility with far less experience with these concepts than even 5 years ago. A child must have exposure to these concepts to gain knowledge, and somewhere the exposure to these types of opposites has been lost in the shuffle. Therefore, you will need to give the child exposure in order for the child to become fluent with these concepts.
The last component for Early Literacy is Phonological Awareness. The learning expectation for this one: Engages in and enjoys word play with silly sounds and real and nonsense words. The performance indicator: Plays with words herself if adult models rhymes or silly-sounding words; recites one or two favorite rhymes/poems. The word "models" in the performance indicator clues you in to the fact that this one definitely does not occur naturally. Children must be exposed to rhymes and poetry in order to develop a sense of rhyming. Childhood used to be filled with nursery rhymes. Therefore, this one did seem to develop naturally years ago. Childhood these days is nearly void of nursery rhymes and poetry unless the parents and caregivers make a specific effort to expose children to these types of literature. In my facility I read at least one poem or rhyme per day. To me it is very sad that nursery rhymes have nearly disappeared from childhood. If you cannot stand the old nursery rhymes, please at least read poems and poetry to the children to give them the exposure they need.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
First, we will look at the component - Auditory Discrimination with its three learning expectations and performance indicators. The first learning expectation involves Being aware of and identifying many sounds in the environment with the performance indicator: Identifies the source of familiar sounds in the environment and continues to notice new sounds. This particular learning expectation does occur naturally. Children are naturally curious about the sounds around them and can be extremely perceptive about familiar sounds. I can remember as a child knowing exactly when my mom was popping popcorn. I could tell the difference between popcorn hitting the pan and peas hitting the pan. Similarly, my own biological children knew exactly what we were having for breakfast when they heard me using the food chopper. That familiar sound meant homemade apple cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast. Sometimes in the childcare setting you, the provider, will notice a child that does not pick up on familiar sounds. This could be an indication of a physical or developmental problem but not always. If you do notice a child that does not pick up on familiar sounds, do some simple tests to see if the child does have a hearing issue. If they do, refer them to the appropriate professional service for diagnosis. Do not ever attempt to provide a diagnosis on your own. It is your job to refer not diagnose. Sometimes the child's hearing is fine but the child's ability to pay attention to details may not be. This can or cannot be a symptom of a developmental problem. Again a referral for testing would be appropriate. When you discover a problem in this area, discussing noises with the children on a regular basis will improve the child's ability to pay attention unless a serious developmental delay is present.
The second learning expectation is: Continues to distinguish between words with similar phonemes, such as pat and path. The performance indicator for this one: Makes accurate distinctions between words that contain very similar-sounding phonemes (e.g., path-pass, hat-pat, bug-bud, map-nap, shot-shop, hit-hat, etc.). Remember this is dealing with auditory discrimination and not speech-related development. A child should be able to tell the difference when you say path or pass even though they may say path for both for them. Whether a child reaches this particular one between 2 1/2 and 3 years old very much depends on how much language exposure the child has in his/her environment. Children that have language rich environments will reach this milestone at that age. Whereas, children from language poor environments may not reach this milestone until they are closer to 4 years old. Children that live in a language rich environment will hear 1000 different words per day through reading books and conversations. However, thanks to technology many children do not hear anywhere near that many words in their home setting. Having conversations with the children in your care is extremely important for the proper language development of those children. Read books to them and make mealtime discussions the norm at your facility. Give the children ample opportunity to hear the widest range of vocabulary possible in a day's time. It makes a huge difference.
The third learning expectation for the component Auditory Discrimination is: Discriminates among sounds based on volume and pitch - loud vs. soft, high vs. low, long vs short. The performance indicator for this one is: Responds appropriately when asked to speak with a different volume or to turn up or down the sound of a recording or a toy; can identify whether a sound is high or low, loud or soft, long or short when compared to another sound. This particular learning expectation will not occur naturally. This one must be instructed. This can be accomplished with simple exercises that demonstrate the opposites. I have found that recently children have come into my facility with far less experience with these concepts than even 5 years ago. A child must have exposure to these concepts to gain knowledge, and somewhere the exposure to these types of opposites has been lost in the shuffle. Therefore, you will need to give the child exposure in order for the child to become fluent with these concepts.
The last component for Early Literacy is Phonological Awareness. The learning expectation for this one: Engages in and enjoys word play with silly sounds and real and nonsense words. The performance indicator: Plays with words herself if adult models rhymes or silly-sounding words; recites one or two favorite rhymes/poems. The word "models" in the performance indicator clues you in to the fact that this one definitely does not occur naturally. Children must be exposed to rhymes and poetry in order to develop a sense of rhyming. Childhood used to be filled with nursery rhymes. Therefore, this one did seem to develop naturally years ago. Childhood these days is nearly void of nursery rhymes and poetry unless the parents and caregivers make a specific effort to expose children to these types of literature. In my facility I read at least one poem or rhyme per day. To me it is very sad that nursery rhymes have nearly disappeared from childhood. If you cannot stand the old nursery rhymes, please at least read poems and poetry to the children to give them the exposure they need.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Dealing with Picky Eaters - Strategies for Children
This post will continue the discussion of picky eating. In my last post I looked at how parents can help or hinder the process. This post will look at strategies for getting children to try new foods and some tips for the extremely picky.
The Parents
As I discussed in the last post, many times parents are as large a part of the problem as the children. Sometimes you will be able to get the parents on board with trying to instill better eating habits, but most of the time you will only get half-hearted response from parents. They will probably not fight your efforts at childcare, but they will not help the process at home at all. This will affect how you approach this in the childcare setting because every week will be almost starting over after a weekend of bad eating habits. It will feel like taking one step forward and two steps back every Monday. Changing bad eating habits in the childcare setting alone takes an enormous amount of time and patience. I want you to completely understand that before you embark on what will probably be the most thankless journey of your career. The kids will complain. The parents will complain. The state may even give you a hard time. However, tell yourself every day that you are changing those little ones' worlds for the better one small thankless change at a time.
Baby Steps
The most important part of any strategy to improve a child's eating habits is to make changes in baby steps. If you completely revamp your menu all at once, you will have mass mutiny from everyone involved. This will go far beyond the complaining you will get over the baby steps. People can get nasty about food in case you did not know. Take one item and improve it. Wait a week or a month according the level of hysteria that ensues over the one item and do another one. It might be as simple as changing from canned green beans to frozen green beans. However, let me tell you that every time you move to a fresher food, you will get more backlash than you thought possible. When I changed to frozen green beans from canned ones, everyone that had been eating green beans quit. On the green beans I had to start all over again. This will be repeated every time you make a change for the better. Please, understand the war in which you are about to embark. When you move to a fresher source, the cooler of the food is usually darker. I have found that the darker the color the stronger the war over trying it. However, once the initial hysteria subsides, the children will settle back in and slowly begin to eat the food again. Once the children get used to the baby steps, the hysteria will lessen but not go away. I will also warn you that one of the hardest changes to make will be removing flavored milk. I have had children sit in the floor and wail over white milk. When I changed the milk, I used several strategies together to help with that particular transition.
Let Children Help with Preparation
Another strategy that helps is to have the children help with the preparation of the new food the first time it is served. However, do not think that this works like a charm. It only helps. Extremely picky eaters will throw hissy fits no matter how many strategies you employ. The extremely picky will help with the preparation, but if you think they are actually going to put that in their mouth, you are extremely naive. This strategy works for the slightly picky. The name of this game is to get as many children trying new foods in as many ways possible in order to have some positive peer pressure to kick in. However, do not be naive about positive peer pressure either. Negative peer pressure is far more powerful than positive peer pressure. One extremely picky eater can undo months of work in one meal.
A Rewards System
At my childcare we use a rewards system utilizing incentive charts. Every time a child eats ALL of a vegetable, fruit, or eggs, they receive one check on their chart. When they fill up the chart, they get a small book. This system works well once you already have the process in motion. This system does not work well to entice extremely picky eaters to try new foods. The extremely picky will not consider the reward worth the bite. However, once you have picky eaters trying new foods, this system will in time help them eat more vegetables than you thought possible. Once they discover that a food is not half bad, the check is worth eating all of it. When I changed the milk, this is one of the strategies I used. Normally, the flavored milk children are also the extremely picky eaters that never seem to get checks. When I gave them the option of getting a check for milk (after the week of wailing subsided), they tried the white milk and were soon getting a check for it. This helped them get the "check bug" and made them more open to trying other foods to get checks. After you have had this system in place for 6 to 9 months, it really produces some impressive results. However, please understand that improving the menu will take an extremely long time to accomplish. The school systems in California that are trying to change the food requirements after one year must not understand just how long it takes to get results. You must be in this one for the LONG haul.
Grow a Garden
The last strategy for this post involves having the children grow a garden. It is beneficial for the children to understand what whole food looks like. They will enjoy watching their plants grow and picking the produce. They will absolutely love to shuck the corn because that makes a wonderful mess. However, do not expect this to work like a charm either. The extremely picky will still have a meltdown if you ask them to try a bite. This strategy works for the slightly to moderately picky.
My Menu is Nonnegotiable
I actually employ all of these strategies plus the ones I will cover in next week's post on the extremely picky eaters. Unfortunately, the number of extremely picky eaters grows exponentially with every passing year. It seems to me that every time I start a new child, the war over the food becomes more intense. I will admit that children starting my childcare for the first time suffer from culture shock in a major way because I have been improving my menu for years now. The children that have been here for years eat things most Americans would not believe (beets and spinach anyone). The new children stare at the old ones in disbelief when I set down the plates for weeks. The food I serve here might as well be from Mars as far as they are concerned. It is a source of contention for months, and I have lost clients because I would not let their child eat what he/she wanted. However, I have worked too hard and too long to let one picky eater undo everything. One of the main conferences I now have with new clients involves the menu. I will tell them bluntly that the menu is nonnegotiable, and if they do not like it, they are not a good fit for this place. Many other places will feed their child junk if that is what they desire. I have seen the incredible benefits of children that eat well, and I am not interested in going back to the craziness that processed food brings with it.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The Parents
As I discussed in the last post, many times parents are as large a part of the problem as the children. Sometimes you will be able to get the parents on board with trying to instill better eating habits, but most of the time you will only get half-hearted response from parents. They will probably not fight your efforts at childcare, but they will not help the process at home at all. This will affect how you approach this in the childcare setting because every week will be almost starting over after a weekend of bad eating habits. It will feel like taking one step forward and two steps back every Monday. Changing bad eating habits in the childcare setting alone takes an enormous amount of time and patience. I want you to completely understand that before you embark on what will probably be the most thankless journey of your career. The kids will complain. The parents will complain. The state may even give you a hard time. However, tell yourself every day that you are changing those little ones' worlds for the better one small thankless change at a time.
Baby Steps
The most important part of any strategy to improve a child's eating habits is to make changes in baby steps. If you completely revamp your menu all at once, you will have mass mutiny from everyone involved. This will go far beyond the complaining you will get over the baby steps. People can get nasty about food in case you did not know. Take one item and improve it. Wait a week or a month according the level of hysteria that ensues over the one item and do another one. It might be as simple as changing from canned green beans to frozen green beans. However, let me tell you that every time you move to a fresher food, you will get more backlash than you thought possible. When I changed to frozen green beans from canned ones, everyone that had been eating green beans quit. On the green beans I had to start all over again. This will be repeated every time you make a change for the better. Please, understand the war in which you are about to embark. When you move to a fresher source, the cooler of the food is usually darker. I have found that the darker the color the stronger the war over trying it. However, once the initial hysteria subsides, the children will settle back in and slowly begin to eat the food again. Once the children get used to the baby steps, the hysteria will lessen but not go away. I will also warn you that one of the hardest changes to make will be removing flavored milk. I have had children sit in the floor and wail over white milk. When I changed the milk, I used several strategies together to help with that particular transition.
Let Children Help with Preparation
Another strategy that helps is to have the children help with the preparation of the new food the first time it is served. However, do not think that this works like a charm. It only helps. Extremely picky eaters will throw hissy fits no matter how many strategies you employ. The extremely picky will help with the preparation, but if you think they are actually going to put that in their mouth, you are extremely naive. This strategy works for the slightly picky. The name of this game is to get as many children trying new foods in as many ways possible in order to have some positive peer pressure to kick in. However, do not be naive about positive peer pressure either. Negative peer pressure is far more powerful than positive peer pressure. One extremely picky eater can undo months of work in one meal.
A Rewards System
At my childcare we use a rewards system utilizing incentive charts. Every time a child eats ALL of a vegetable, fruit, or eggs, they receive one check on their chart. When they fill up the chart, they get a small book. This system works well once you already have the process in motion. This system does not work well to entice extremely picky eaters to try new foods. The extremely picky will not consider the reward worth the bite. However, once you have picky eaters trying new foods, this system will in time help them eat more vegetables than you thought possible. Once they discover that a food is not half bad, the check is worth eating all of it. When I changed the milk, this is one of the strategies I used. Normally, the flavored milk children are also the extremely picky eaters that never seem to get checks. When I gave them the option of getting a check for milk (after the week of wailing subsided), they tried the white milk and were soon getting a check for it. This helped them get the "check bug" and made them more open to trying other foods to get checks. After you have had this system in place for 6 to 9 months, it really produces some impressive results. However, please understand that improving the menu will take an extremely long time to accomplish. The school systems in California that are trying to change the food requirements after one year must not understand just how long it takes to get results. You must be in this one for the LONG haul.
Grow a Garden
The last strategy for this post involves having the children grow a garden. It is beneficial for the children to understand what whole food looks like. They will enjoy watching their plants grow and picking the produce. They will absolutely love to shuck the corn because that makes a wonderful mess. However, do not expect this to work like a charm either. The extremely picky will still have a meltdown if you ask them to try a bite. This strategy works for the slightly to moderately picky.
My Menu is Nonnegotiable
I actually employ all of these strategies plus the ones I will cover in next week's post on the extremely picky eaters. Unfortunately, the number of extremely picky eaters grows exponentially with every passing year. It seems to me that every time I start a new child, the war over the food becomes more intense. I will admit that children starting my childcare for the first time suffer from culture shock in a major way because I have been improving my menu for years now. The children that have been here for years eat things most Americans would not believe (beets and spinach anyone). The new children stare at the old ones in disbelief when I set down the plates for weeks. The food I serve here might as well be from Mars as far as they are concerned. It is a source of contention for months, and I have lost clients because I would not let their child eat what he/she wanted. However, I have worked too hard and too long to let one picky eater undo everything. One of the main conferences I now have with new clients involves the menu. I will tell them bluntly that the menu is nonnegotiable, and if they do not like it, they are not a good fit for this place. Many other places will feed their child junk if that is what they desire. I have seen the incredible benefits of children that eat well, and I am not interested in going back to the craziness that processed food brings with it.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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