This post will look at those children that have a bad tendency to interrupt every conversation going on around them. Not only do these children have no sense of decorum when it comes to the etiquette of conversation, but they also tend to be attention hogs. I will discuss the underlying causes for this behavior and give tips to help children learn conversational etiquette.
The Scenario
We all know those children that have supersonic radar when it comes to adult conversations. As soon as the slightest one starts, they have to be all up in the middle of it making a real conversation impossible to conduct. I also know adults that have this tendency, as well. They really do not know how to have two-way conversations. They only know how to talk constantly. Not only is this tendency rude, but it also shows a great social immaturity on the part of the interrupter.
Insecurity and Instant Gratification
What makes these children (and adults) feel the need to dominate every conversation that is going on around them? Insecurity. For some, talking acts like a security blanket to them, and for some reason, they do not feel secure unless they are doing the talking. For others, they feel like everyone is talking about them and dominate conversations to make sure that does not happen. Either way, these children and adults do not feel secure in themselves. They have immaturity issues in the social/emotional realm. Therefore, it takes working both aspects of this problem in order to truly gain success.
Before you can even begin to teach conversational etiquette, the social/emotional issues of this problem must be addressed. I read a study not long ago where people were asked if they would rather get small shocks or be alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes. Would you believe that a majority of the people would rather be shocked than be alone with their own thoughts? My word, what has this country become? We have become so addicted to instant gratification that we would rather have stimuli of any sort rather than sit and think. How in the world did we get to this point? Of course, the obvious reason has to do with our instant gratification culture. However, there has been another more subtle change in our culture that has bred a deep insecurity in the millennial generation and younger. That change has been how we handle insecurities in young children. Previous generations of parents have dealt with this in a much different way than we handle them today. They strove to toughen up their children and felt that coddling them would make them weak and even more insecure. For the past 40 years or so, we have done just the opposite. We have coddled our children and gave credence to every single nuance of fear and doubt in them. Guess what? I think our predecessors were smarter than we are. We have raised one of the most insecure generations this world has ever seen.
What went wrong?
Is not identifying emotions and acknowledging them supposed to be a healthy way to deal with our emotions? Well, yes and no. There are actually three steps in that process. The first step is to acknowledge a problem. The second step involves pinpointing the emotions involved. The third step is dealing with or working to change negative emotions. Our predecessors basically skipped steps one and two, which did cause issues. However, they did number three marvelously. We do steps one and two, and then cuddle with our negative emotions like they are pets. Our predecessors were able to have better results because they followed through with the most important step. Without the third step, growth does not happen. When we coddle our children, we do not allow them to face their negative emotions and learn to conquer them. We end up with very insecure people that know a lot about what is wrong with them but have no idea how to function.
How does this relate to the interrupters?
Children that interrupt have security issues. Identifying and acknowledging those issues are steps one and two. Tough love accomplishes step three. Instead of lavishing attention on these children (which really makes the problem worse), you must teach these children to be okay with themselves. Have them sit for short periods of time every day and say nothing. You will not believe how hard that will be for them. Start small and build until these children begin to be okay with being by themselves and not having to have constant attention. You may have to teach them coping mechanisms if the problem is severe. However, whether they learn to cope on their own or you teach them how to cope, the coping is the goal. The interrupting will become a non-issue when the underlying cause for the interrupting gets attention.
Teaching Conversation Etiquette
Once the insecurity begins to settle down, it will then be time to begin instruction on conversational etiquette. These children usually also have self-control issues. Therefore, instruction in manners and proper etiquette, which calls for self-control, will be another layer of work on the underlying social/emotional issues. Role-play the proper way to carry on conversations. Talk about why it is rude to interrupt other people's conversations. After the instruction has started, discuss with the children every time they interrupt the proper way to carry on conversations. At first, this will be extremely frustrating for these children. That is why I say to work on the main underlying cause before you start this type of instruction. With time and patience, these children will learn, and you will have given them one of the greatest gifts of their lives - the ability to overcome a weakness. That gift will serve them better than a great deal of other gifts you could give them.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Language Development for 2 and 1/2 to 3 year olds - Communication (Part 5)
This post will continue the discussion for the area of learning - Communication. We are still in the component, Expressive Language, and will pick up with the remaining three performance indicators for the learning expectation: Uses some conventions of speech when expressing thoughts and ideas, and may comment on observations. We will also start the component, Speech, and will do one of the performance indicators for the learning expectation: Speech is understood by most familiar adults. Remember I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS).
The first performance indicator is: Starts to use some verb markers (run and running, jump and jumping). This performance indicator again assumes a great deal of previous knowledge in language for children of this age. For those children that have had marvelous language instruction and exposure since birth, this performance indicator will appear around 2 and 1/2 years of age. For those children that have not, this performance indicator will not appear until nearly 3 and 1/2 years of age. I cannot stress enough how important it is for children to have books read to them and participate and hear conversation from the time they are born. Many of these performance indicators can and should be picked up from everyday conversation exposure. However, in today's culture we cannot take anything for granted. If you have a child that is over 3 years old and is not beginning to use verb markers correctly, you may have to teach yourself to correct that child's language every time you catch it. This takes great patience and staying aware of what is being said by the child. Very often we are so used to their common mistakes that we do not even pay attention. Let the parents and relatives think the mistakes are cute. As that child's preschool teacher, you need to work on helping that child speak correctly.
The next performance indicator involves: Uses the words "I" and "me" appropriately. I have had 4 year olds that did not use "I" and "me" appropriately. Again, this performance indicator depends on the level of exposure a child has had to appropriate language use. Unlike some of the other language performance indicators that usually just develop with use, this one many times has to be worked. Do not ask me why, but some children can be stubborn about this particular one. The 4 year olds I have had that needed work on this one were the stubborn ones. Some children just need gentle reminders when they use the wrong word. Some children have to be constantly corrected until they finally give in and use the right word. Whichever way it is, you will need to make yourself be aware of the language usage of your children. Do not let yourself fall into the trap of becoming blind to the obvious. We cannot assume that the children will correct this by themselves over time. In today's culture you must be proactive about teaching children proper language usage.
Next on our list is: Talks in complete sentences of 3-5 words in length; can use compound sentences. I feel like a broken record, but the language skill level of this age group can vary so widely. Some children are barely doing 3 word sentences by 3 years of age and some children are talking in paragraphs by the same age. I will tell you that boys tend to lag behind girls at this age. Usually the ones that can talk in paragraphs by 3 years of age tend to be girls. If boys can use 3-5 word sentences by 3 years of age, they are usually good to go. This particular performance indicator builds with exposure and use. If you have a child that is barely speaking by 3 years of age, you will need to encourage that child to use his/her words. Some children have become accustomed to pointing and grunting to get what they want, and some parents let this go on well into a child's second and sometimes third year. An older child that still points and grunts may become hostile when you do not acknowledge his/her wishes, but just treat that like a hissy fit and ignore it. Make the child use his/her words to express their wishes. The big trend in early childhood circles these days is to teach toddlers sign language to help them express themselves. That can be both a blessing and a curse. Once a child reaches 2 years of age, the sign language needs to make way for spoken language unless the child is truly hearing impaired. If it does not, you will get the same effect as the pointers and grunters. Make children use their words.
Now, we are going to shift gears to the component - Speech. The learning expectation for this component is: Speech is understood by most familiar adults. We will only look at the first performance indicator: Uses all the vowels in our language. The rest of the performance indicators for this component will be covered in next week's post. This is probably the only performance indicator on this list that most children conquer by age 3 unless a moderate to severe developmental delay exists. Even children with mild developmental delays usually conquer this one. If a child cannot say the vowel sounds by age 3, testing for developmental delays or hearing impairments should be conducted. The vowel sounds are open sounds and are therefore easier for children to conquer. I will say that the vowel sounds can be heavily influenced by dialect. Accents can play heavily in how a child pronounces vowel sounds. As long as a child pronounces the vowel sounds common to the dialect in his/her area, you should not worry.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The first performance indicator is: Starts to use some verb markers (run and running, jump and jumping). This performance indicator again assumes a great deal of previous knowledge in language for children of this age. For those children that have had marvelous language instruction and exposure since birth, this performance indicator will appear around 2 and 1/2 years of age. For those children that have not, this performance indicator will not appear until nearly 3 and 1/2 years of age. I cannot stress enough how important it is for children to have books read to them and participate and hear conversation from the time they are born. Many of these performance indicators can and should be picked up from everyday conversation exposure. However, in today's culture we cannot take anything for granted. If you have a child that is over 3 years old and is not beginning to use verb markers correctly, you may have to teach yourself to correct that child's language every time you catch it. This takes great patience and staying aware of what is being said by the child. Very often we are so used to their common mistakes that we do not even pay attention. Let the parents and relatives think the mistakes are cute. As that child's preschool teacher, you need to work on helping that child speak correctly.
The next performance indicator involves: Uses the words "I" and "me" appropriately. I have had 4 year olds that did not use "I" and "me" appropriately. Again, this performance indicator depends on the level of exposure a child has had to appropriate language use. Unlike some of the other language performance indicators that usually just develop with use, this one many times has to be worked. Do not ask me why, but some children can be stubborn about this particular one. The 4 year olds I have had that needed work on this one were the stubborn ones. Some children just need gentle reminders when they use the wrong word. Some children have to be constantly corrected until they finally give in and use the right word. Whichever way it is, you will need to make yourself be aware of the language usage of your children. Do not let yourself fall into the trap of becoming blind to the obvious. We cannot assume that the children will correct this by themselves over time. In today's culture you must be proactive about teaching children proper language usage.
Next on our list is: Talks in complete sentences of 3-5 words in length; can use compound sentences. I feel like a broken record, but the language skill level of this age group can vary so widely. Some children are barely doing 3 word sentences by 3 years of age and some children are talking in paragraphs by the same age. I will tell you that boys tend to lag behind girls at this age. Usually the ones that can talk in paragraphs by 3 years of age tend to be girls. If boys can use 3-5 word sentences by 3 years of age, they are usually good to go. This particular performance indicator builds with exposure and use. If you have a child that is barely speaking by 3 years of age, you will need to encourage that child to use his/her words. Some children have become accustomed to pointing and grunting to get what they want, and some parents let this go on well into a child's second and sometimes third year. An older child that still points and grunts may become hostile when you do not acknowledge his/her wishes, but just treat that like a hissy fit and ignore it. Make the child use his/her words to express their wishes. The big trend in early childhood circles these days is to teach toddlers sign language to help them express themselves. That can be both a blessing and a curse. Once a child reaches 2 years of age, the sign language needs to make way for spoken language unless the child is truly hearing impaired. If it does not, you will get the same effect as the pointers and grunters. Make children use their words.
Now, we are going to shift gears to the component - Speech. The learning expectation for this component is: Speech is understood by most familiar adults. We will only look at the first performance indicator: Uses all the vowels in our language. The rest of the performance indicators for this component will be covered in next week's post. This is probably the only performance indicator on this list that most children conquer by age 3 unless a moderate to severe developmental delay exists. Even children with mild developmental delays usually conquer this one. If a child cannot say the vowel sounds by age 3, testing for developmental delays or hearing impairments should be conducted. The vowel sounds are open sounds and are therefore easier for children to conquer. I will say that the vowel sounds can be heavily influenced by dialect. Accents can play heavily in how a child pronounces vowel sounds. As long as a child pronounces the vowel sounds common to the dialect in his/her area, you should not worry.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Dealing with Children that Tattle
This post will tackle one of the most annoying bad habits of small children (and some adults). Tattling can push most of us to the point of insanity at times. I will discuss the underlying reasons why children tattle and give you some strategies to help shut it down.
The Scenario
For those of us that work the front lines of childcare and parenting, this particular bad habit seems to be one of the most constant sources of frustration. The tone of voice that children use makes it that much worse because it is mixed with whining. "She touched me" or "He said (Fill in the blank)" seem to flow incessantly from the mouths of the young children we keep. If we try to play referee to all these complaints, we usually find ourselves not even knowing truth from fiction.
What causes children to tattle so?
Remember, young children are egocentric. They perceive the world only from their own point of view. To them, everything should go the way they want it to go, and when it does not, they complain about it. Children also have a very cut and dry sense of justice. They believe everything should be resolved immediately. Therefore, when something happens that they do not like, they tattle.
The Fallen Nature
However, some tattling goes much deeper than that. Here is where most early childhood experts do not dare to tread because it deals with humanity's sin nature. Remember most early childhood professionals do not adhere to the philosophy of a fallen nature. They believe humans are simply products of their environment and perfecting environments will perfect human beings. I am sorry to break it to them, but all human beings come into this world with a fallen nature. To deny the fallen nature puts all of their theories and philosophies on the wrong foundation. Children do not have to be taught to do wrong. It comes naturally to them. A great deal of tattling comes from a guilty conscience or just plain meanness. When children begin to tattle on other children for the very things they do themselves, they are either trying to deflect attention from their own wrongdoing or they simply want to see someone else get in trouble. Some days children just get in moods where they want to get everyone in trouble for no real apparent reason other than spite. These darker reasons for tattling rarely find their way into the typical discussions on this subject. I do not know about you, but when I have an issue in my childcare, I want information that digs down into the nitty gritty of the matter. I truly believe that many childcare providers come away from behavioral trainings feeling beat up for not having perfect environments that will head off all behavioral problems. In the real world, the perfect environment does not exist. We deal with children with fallen natures, and maybe one of these days someone will be brave enough to actually do behavioral trainings from that point of view. However, for now the liberal majority holds sway and will not even let such topics even be discussed at trainings.
How can we as childcare providers and parents deal with all this tattling?
Number one, do not give it credence. It is very easy for adults to get sucked into the role of referee when the tattling starts. However, if we train ourselves to never give credence to anything done in a whiny tone of voice, we will shut down a great deal of tattling. Most children cannot tattle without whining. Repeat after me, "My ears do not hear things in a whiny voice." Some people will use the phrase with older children "I don't speak whinese." Either way, you will eventually teach the children that whining gets shut down on the spot. However, do not think that this will completely eliminate the tattling. Some children will adapt.
Tattling vs. Reporting
On top of training yourself not to listen to whiny tattling, you will need to instruct the children on the difference between tattling and reporting. I have made this one of the lessons in my rules instruction that I do on a regular basis. I teach them that tattling is trying to get someone in trouble and reporting is when something dangerous or very important is happening. You will very much have to clarify the meaning of very important because to small children everything falls into that category. Often, when the kids come to me tattling, I will start down my list of what constitutes reporting. I will ask them "Is someone bleeding or hurt? Are they doing something dangerous? Is it a real emergency?" When they have to answer "no" to all of those questions, I will then ask them what they are doing. At that point, they have to admit to tattling. Then I send them on their way. Sometimes, a real situation will be happening with the children that does not necessarily fall into what constitutes reporting. Usually, in this situation the child is wanting you to fight his/her battles. Do not let yourself get sucked into being a referee. Instead, teach the child to stand up for himself/herself. I will often know by the tattling whether or not this is the case. If I child comes to me and says "tell _______ to stop doing _______," I will tell the child to go tell that child himself/herself. If the other child persists after the first child has stood up for himself/herself, I will intervene. We want the children to feel free to come to us for help, but we do not want them to become dependent on us to fight all of their battles. We should be the appeals court and not the first strategy.
Dealing with Hypocrisy
Before I leave this subject, I want to touch on another area that I have never seen discussed along with tattling, and that is teaching children not to be hypocrites. Very often, children tattle on other children for the very things they are presently doing or do on a regular basis. I never let this slide. If a child starts complaining about another child doing something they very often do, we have a discussion. I want the children to learn early to understand their own faults and not to judge others before they have judged themselves. Nobody likes hypocrites, and we do the children an enormous favor by starting this instruction in the preschool years.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The Scenario
For those of us that work the front lines of childcare and parenting, this particular bad habit seems to be one of the most constant sources of frustration. The tone of voice that children use makes it that much worse because it is mixed with whining. "She touched me" or "He said (Fill in the blank)" seem to flow incessantly from the mouths of the young children we keep. If we try to play referee to all these complaints, we usually find ourselves not even knowing truth from fiction.
What causes children to tattle so?
Remember, young children are egocentric. They perceive the world only from their own point of view. To them, everything should go the way they want it to go, and when it does not, they complain about it. Children also have a very cut and dry sense of justice. They believe everything should be resolved immediately. Therefore, when something happens that they do not like, they tattle.
The Fallen Nature
However, some tattling goes much deeper than that. Here is where most early childhood experts do not dare to tread because it deals with humanity's sin nature. Remember most early childhood professionals do not adhere to the philosophy of a fallen nature. They believe humans are simply products of their environment and perfecting environments will perfect human beings. I am sorry to break it to them, but all human beings come into this world with a fallen nature. To deny the fallen nature puts all of their theories and philosophies on the wrong foundation. Children do not have to be taught to do wrong. It comes naturally to them. A great deal of tattling comes from a guilty conscience or just plain meanness. When children begin to tattle on other children for the very things they do themselves, they are either trying to deflect attention from their own wrongdoing or they simply want to see someone else get in trouble. Some days children just get in moods where they want to get everyone in trouble for no real apparent reason other than spite. These darker reasons for tattling rarely find their way into the typical discussions on this subject. I do not know about you, but when I have an issue in my childcare, I want information that digs down into the nitty gritty of the matter. I truly believe that many childcare providers come away from behavioral trainings feeling beat up for not having perfect environments that will head off all behavioral problems. In the real world, the perfect environment does not exist. We deal with children with fallen natures, and maybe one of these days someone will be brave enough to actually do behavioral trainings from that point of view. However, for now the liberal majority holds sway and will not even let such topics even be discussed at trainings.
How can we as childcare providers and parents deal with all this tattling?
Number one, do not give it credence. It is very easy for adults to get sucked into the role of referee when the tattling starts. However, if we train ourselves to never give credence to anything done in a whiny tone of voice, we will shut down a great deal of tattling. Most children cannot tattle without whining. Repeat after me, "My ears do not hear things in a whiny voice." Some people will use the phrase with older children "I don't speak whinese." Either way, you will eventually teach the children that whining gets shut down on the spot. However, do not think that this will completely eliminate the tattling. Some children will adapt.
Tattling vs. Reporting
On top of training yourself not to listen to whiny tattling, you will need to instruct the children on the difference between tattling and reporting. I have made this one of the lessons in my rules instruction that I do on a regular basis. I teach them that tattling is trying to get someone in trouble and reporting is when something dangerous or very important is happening. You will very much have to clarify the meaning of very important because to small children everything falls into that category. Often, when the kids come to me tattling, I will start down my list of what constitutes reporting. I will ask them "Is someone bleeding or hurt? Are they doing something dangerous? Is it a real emergency?" When they have to answer "no" to all of those questions, I will then ask them what they are doing. At that point, they have to admit to tattling. Then I send them on their way. Sometimes, a real situation will be happening with the children that does not necessarily fall into what constitutes reporting. Usually, in this situation the child is wanting you to fight his/her battles. Do not let yourself get sucked into being a referee. Instead, teach the child to stand up for himself/herself. I will often know by the tattling whether or not this is the case. If I child comes to me and says "tell _______ to stop doing _______," I will tell the child to go tell that child himself/herself. If the other child persists after the first child has stood up for himself/herself, I will intervene. We want the children to feel free to come to us for help, but we do not want them to become dependent on us to fight all of their battles. We should be the appeals court and not the first strategy.
Dealing with Hypocrisy
Before I leave this subject, I want to touch on another area that I have never seen discussed along with tattling, and that is teaching children not to be hypocrites. Very often, children tattle on other children for the very things they are presently doing or do on a regular basis. I never let this slide. If a child starts complaining about another child doing something they very often do, we have a discussion. I want the children to learn early to understand their own faults and not to judge others before they have judged themselves. Nobody likes hypocrites, and we do the children an enormous favor by starting this instruction in the preschool years.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Language Development for 2 1/2 to 3 year olds - Communication (Part 4)
This post will continue the discussion for the Communication area of learning. We are still discussing the component - Expressive Language. We will begin the discussion for the learning expectation: Uses some conventions of speech when expressing thoughts and ideas, and may comment on observations. Remember, I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS).
The first performance indicator for this learning expectation is: Uses appropriate simple adjectives in sentences (big, little, soft, hard, colors) e.g. "I'm a big boy." This performance indicator assumes a great deal of previous knowledge for this age group. Before they can use those types of words, they have to know what they mean. It has been my experience that unless they have been with me since they were 12 months old, this is a far stretch for most 2 1/2 to 3 year olds. I start working on these types of words with my 18 to 24 month children or as soon as they walk in the door if they are older. I never assume the children know these types of concepts anymore because they usually do not. Children simply do not receive enough language exposure in today's culture most of the time to pick up these concepts from daily life. Therefore, you must teach these concepts before you will see them appear in the child's everyday conversation whether they are two or four years old.
The next performance indicator is: Uses simple adverbs in sentences (very, slow, fast) e.g., "That car goes very fast." Again, this performance indicator assumes a great deal of previous knowledge for this age group. Many children these days are barely talking by 3 years old. To use that complex a sentence is way beyond their abilities. However, there will be some 3 year olds talking in paragraphs. The diversity of skills for this age group can be immense. Which children will be able to conquer this performance indicator? The ones that have been read to on a regular basis all of their life AND given the opportunity for conversation every day. Until a child receives enough of these types of experiences, these language performance indicators will simply not be there. Do not despair if 3 and 4 year olds come through your door unable to use simple adverbs. With quality experiences they will pull up quickly unless a developmental delay is at play.
Next on the list is: Uses prepositions (on, in, under). Once again, this is a performance indicator that assumes a great deal of previous knowledge for this age group. I include these types of words in what I call position and direction words. I start instruction on these words sometime around the second birthday or before if they are ready. However, I also start 4 year olds that walk through the door at this point because I have learned to never assume previous knowledge. Our visual culture really bites us in the butt on language development issues. Our children do not receive enough exposure to language to pick up these types of language skills from everyday conversation and exposure. Just like the previous two performance indicator, you will have to be proactive in teaching these concepts to ensure the children gain these skills. I usually teach these in pairs of opposites working on one pair for a week, which seems to work very well. Just develop as extensive of a list of these types of words and incorporate this type of instruction somewhere in your day.
The last performance indicator for this post is: Uses some plurals (car and cars) appropriately. This performance indicator may show up earlier than the previous three depending on the child. Children seem to pick up on plurals faster than adjectives, adverbs, and prepositions, but not always. As I have said before, the diversity of skill in this age group can be immense. Children that have had great exposure to language up until this point in their life will conquer all of these performance indicators. Children that have not may be barely talking. This particular skill can be picked up by children from conversations when those conversations happen often enough. As adults we model this one without even thinking. If a 3 year old has not picked up on plurals, you might want to insert specific instruction to work on this skill. If a 4 year old has not picked up on plurals, you might want to test for developmental delays. Many, many children seem to dragging on language skills at this time. Therefore, be slow to jump to the developmental delay conclusion until you have given instruction time to fill in the gaps.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The first performance indicator for this learning expectation is: Uses appropriate simple adjectives in sentences (big, little, soft, hard, colors) e.g. "I'm a big boy." This performance indicator assumes a great deal of previous knowledge for this age group. Before they can use those types of words, they have to know what they mean. It has been my experience that unless they have been with me since they were 12 months old, this is a far stretch for most 2 1/2 to 3 year olds. I start working on these types of words with my 18 to 24 month children or as soon as they walk in the door if they are older. I never assume the children know these types of concepts anymore because they usually do not. Children simply do not receive enough language exposure in today's culture most of the time to pick up these concepts from daily life. Therefore, you must teach these concepts before you will see them appear in the child's everyday conversation whether they are two or four years old.
The next performance indicator is: Uses simple adverbs in sentences (very, slow, fast) e.g., "That car goes very fast." Again, this performance indicator assumes a great deal of previous knowledge for this age group. Many children these days are barely talking by 3 years old. To use that complex a sentence is way beyond their abilities. However, there will be some 3 year olds talking in paragraphs. The diversity of skills for this age group can be immense. Which children will be able to conquer this performance indicator? The ones that have been read to on a regular basis all of their life AND given the opportunity for conversation every day. Until a child receives enough of these types of experiences, these language performance indicators will simply not be there. Do not despair if 3 and 4 year olds come through your door unable to use simple adverbs. With quality experiences they will pull up quickly unless a developmental delay is at play.
Next on the list is: Uses prepositions (on, in, under). Once again, this is a performance indicator that assumes a great deal of previous knowledge for this age group. I include these types of words in what I call position and direction words. I start instruction on these words sometime around the second birthday or before if they are ready. However, I also start 4 year olds that walk through the door at this point because I have learned to never assume previous knowledge. Our visual culture really bites us in the butt on language development issues. Our children do not receive enough exposure to language to pick up these types of language skills from everyday conversation and exposure. Just like the previous two performance indicator, you will have to be proactive in teaching these concepts to ensure the children gain these skills. I usually teach these in pairs of opposites working on one pair for a week, which seems to work very well. Just develop as extensive of a list of these types of words and incorporate this type of instruction somewhere in your day.
The last performance indicator for this post is: Uses some plurals (car and cars) appropriately. This performance indicator may show up earlier than the previous three depending on the child. Children seem to pick up on plurals faster than adjectives, adverbs, and prepositions, but not always. As I have said before, the diversity of skill in this age group can be immense. Children that have had great exposure to language up until this point in their life will conquer all of these performance indicators. Children that have not may be barely talking. This particular skill can be picked up by children from conversations when those conversations happen often enough. As adults we model this one without even thinking. If a 3 year old has not picked up on plurals, you might want to insert specific instruction to work on this skill. If a 4 year old has not picked up on plurals, you might want to test for developmental delays. Many, many children seem to dragging on language skills at this time. Therefore, be slow to jump to the developmental delay conclusion until you have given instruction time to fill in the gaps.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Dealing with Children that Pester
This post will look at one of the most annoying behaviors that young children display - pestering. I know at times you wish someone would invent bubbles for children so that they cannot touch each other. This behavior takes up a large majority of our time sometimes and can be one of the causes for toxic stress for providers over time. This post will look at the some causes for this behavior and some simple solutions to deal with the constant pestering.
The Scenario
"He/She touched me!" is one of those phrases childcare providers and parents hear every single day. We all know those children especially boys that have the hardest time keeping hands and other body parts to themselves. When these children sit close to another child, the urge to touch nearly overcomes them if they try to resist it at all. Some do not even try. Teaching children about personal space can be one of the hardest tasks given to adults dealing with very small children.
The Need for Attention
Pestering, however, is more than a personal space issue. It involves the intense desire to either get attention or just be near somebody. Some little boys want the attention of some little girls so badly that they will do absolutely anything to get that attention. Most of the time this involves pestering the little girl. I have seen some little girls pester a little boy because she liked him, but it is not as prevalent as the other way around. Some little boys will also pester other little boys for attention. If a boy really struggles socially, this may be very prevalent. For little boys, pestering is just one of their social tools.
Familial Sense of Personal Space
Some families just spend a great deal of time in each other's space. I have siblings that do this. I am constantly having to separate them because all they want to do is scuffle. For children that come from a family like this, the pestering usually becomes an issue. Pestering is just normal for these children. They do not understand personal space especially with siblings. The reason for the pestering in this situation involves the need to be near other people. Some people just require more touch than other people. Within the family this usually does not present a problem unless a member of the family does not have this tendency. However, in a group setting, these children can be challenging. Learning to keep their body parts to themselves requires intense instruction.
Hula Hoops Anyone?
I have seriously considered getting some hula hoops for group times because of my siblings if I could find some small enough for the purpose. I do have sitting mats that I use for group times but the hula hoops would help them understand the "bubble" concept. It would give them a physical boundary to represent the concept of personal space. I would teach them to keep everything in their "bubble." I truly believe that would work much better than the "crisscross, applesauce, spoons in the bowl" technique, which is how I presently deal with this. That technique does work with extreme persistence, but I am having to constantly remind them to resume the position. One of the siblings is very close to school-age and the schools in this area use that technique heavily. Therefore, I have persisted with instructing that technique even though I am still on the hunt for hula hoops.
Working on this issue only using some "sit still" technique just deals with only a fraction of the underlying cause. This is a social-emotional issue and usually involves a degree of social immaturity especially for boys. These children need instruction on how to function in a group setting. They also may need instruction on how to be okay without having to be all over other people. Remember I gave two underlying causes for pestering and both causes need different types of instruction.
Appropriate Ways to Get Attention
For the children with an insatiable need for attention, you will need to teach them more appropriate ways of getting that attention. Children do not come into this world knowing how to make friends automatically. You must teach them proper ways to make friends, or they will find any way possible to get attention whether good or bad. Many immature children will find ways to get attention, and they do not care whether it is positive or negative attention. To them, attention is attention. Once they get a taste of positive attention and learn how to negotiate social settings, the pestering behavior will begin to subside. By the way, this also works for adults who are not socially savvy and have a tendency to pester other people.
The Need for Touch
The other cause for pestering involves the need for touch. I call these the "clingy" kids. These are the children that feel insecure if they are not in contact or very close to another human being. For these children, instruction in being okay alone is absolutely necessary. I am not advocating isolating these children all day long, but they do need short periods throughout the day where they have to learn to be alone. They will never improve without working on this. I know adults that still have this issue. It is not something they will outgrow necessarily. Of course, start small and build with time. You cannot expect a child that has this issue to be able to play alone for 30 minutes at the beginning. Sometimes if you can even get 2 minutes, you will have done well. Being able to be okay by themselves will be a skill that will serve them throughout their lives. It is very important.
Lack of Self-Control
One more aspect of pestering that I want to cover involves self-control. Pestering very much embodies a lack of self-control. Working on self-control along with these other aspects will go a long way to improve the pestering problem. Much of child development overlaps. Working on one issue very often helps in ways that we never foresee.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The Scenario
"He/She touched me!" is one of those phrases childcare providers and parents hear every single day. We all know those children especially boys that have the hardest time keeping hands and other body parts to themselves. When these children sit close to another child, the urge to touch nearly overcomes them if they try to resist it at all. Some do not even try. Teaching children about personal space can be one of the hardest tasks given to adults dealing with very small children.
The Need for Attention
Pestering, however, is more than a personal space issue. It involves the intense desire to either get attention or just be near somebody. Some little boys want the attention of some little girls so badly that they will do absolutely anything to get that attention. Most of the time this involves pestering the little girl. I have seen some little girls pester a little boy because she liked him, but it is not as prevalent as the other way around. Some little boys will also pester other little boys for attention. If a boy really struggles socially, this may be very prevalent. For little boys, pestering is just one of their social tools.
Familial Sense of Personal Space
Some families just spend a great deal of time in each other's space. I have siblings that do this. I am constantly having to separate them because all they want to do is scuffle. For children that come from a family like this, the pestering usually becomes an issue. Pestering is just normal for these children. They do not understand personal space especially with siblings. The reason for the pestering in this situation involves the need to be near other people. Some people just require more touch than other people. Within the family this usually does not present a problem unless a member of the family does not have this tendency. However, in a group setting, these children can be challenging. Learning to keep their body parts to themselves requires intense instruction.
Hula Hoops Anyone?
I have seriously considered getting some hula hoops for group times because of my siblings if I could find some small enough for the purpose. I do have sitting mats that I use for group times but the hula hoops would help them understand the "bubble" concept. It would give them a physical boundary to represent the concept of personal space. I would teach them to keep everything in their "bubble." I truly believe that would work much better than the "crisscross, applesauce, spoons in the bowl" technique, which is how I presently deal with this. That technique does work with extreme persistence, but I am having to constantly remind them to resume the position. One of the siblings is very close to school-age and the schools in this area use that technique heavily. Therefore, I have persisted with instructing that technique even though I am still on the hunt for hula hoops.
Working on this issue only using some "sit still" technique just deals with only a fraction of the underlying cause. This is a social-emotional issue and usually involves a degree of social immaturity especially for boys. These children need instruction on how to function in a group setting. They also may need instruction on how to be okay without having to be all over other people. Remember I gave two underlying causes for pestering and both causes need different types of instruction.
Appropriate Ways to Get Attention
For the children with an insatiable need for attention, you will need to teach them more appropriate ways of getting that attention. Children do not come into this world knowing how to make friends automatically. You must teach them proper ways to make friends, or they will find any way possible to get attention whether good or bad. Many immature children will find ways to get attention, and they do not care whether it is positive or negative attention. To them, attention is attention. Once they get a taste of positive attention and learn how to negotiate social settings, the pestering behavior will begin to subside. By the way, this also works for adults who are not socially savvy and have a tendency to pester other people.
The Need for Touch
The other cause for pestering involves the need for touch. I call these the "clingy" kids. These are the children that feel insecure if they are not in contact or very close to another human being. For these children, instruction in being okay alone is absolutely necessary. I am not advocating isolating these children all day long, but they do need short periods throughout the day where they have to learn to be alone. They will never improve without working on this. I know adults that still have this issue. It is not something they will outgrow necessarily. Of course, start small and build with time. You cannot expect a child that has this issue to be able to play alone for 30 minutes at the beginning. Sometimes if you can even get 2 minutes, you will have done well. Being able to be okay by themselves will be a skill that will serve them throughout their lives. It is very important.
Lack of Self-Control
One more aspect of pestering that I want to cover involves self-control. Pestering very much embodies a lack of self-control. Working on self-control along with these other aspects will go a long way to improve the pestering problem. Much of child development overlaps. Working on one issue very often helps in ways that we never foresee.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Language Development for 2 1/2 to 3 year olds - Communication (Part 3)
This post will continue the discussion for the area of learning - Communication. We will be looking at the component, Expressive Language, with the learning expectation - Participates in conversations. Remember I am taking my information from the Tennessee Early Learning Developmental Standards (TN-ELDS).
The first performance indicator for this component is: Knows and can say first and last name. For the first name this performance indicator can usually be picked up through life experience. Most normally developing children have heard their name enough to be able to say it on their own. If they cannot say their first name by the time they are 3 years olds, developmental testing should be employed. Even those children with lagging language skills can still say their name by 3 years old even if they cannot say much else. The last name, however, can be a little tricky. The family dynamic that many childcare providers see now involves children with a different last name than their mother and sometimes a different last name than their siblings. In some cases, a mother will have 3 or 4 children that all have a different last name. I am not going to comment on the reasons for this trend. That is a post for another day. However, because the last name does not have the same significance that it had 20 or 30 years ago, it becomes necessary to actually work with the child on their full name. Many times the parents do not really work on this because of the different dynamic. They often do not want to overemphasize the difference in last names until it becomes necessary for school. When I was growing up, we often referred to our family by our last name. That helped us develop the same sense for our last name as our first name. Families rarely do this anymore.
The second performance indicator for this component is: Likes to recite nursery rhymes or books with rhyming patterns. This particular performance indicator takes for granted that children are exposed to nursery rhymes or have been read to on a regular basis. Both assumptions tend to be the exception instead of the norm. Instead, I often assume a child has had no experience with nursery rhymes or books and plan accordingly. Even with professional parents, you cannot assume they have had a rich language environment. Like many other childcare professionals, I go off the assumption that if they do not get it from me, they will not get it at all. It is not just the childcare professionals that have come to this conclusion. Pediatricians now ask parents to read to their children as part of the well baby check-ups on top of all the other recommendations. It seems many professionals finally realize that we are massively failing our children in the language development department. Make nursery rhymes and books with rhyming schemes part of your daily schedule, and you will see this particular performance indicator emerge in your childcare even if it has to happen beyond the age of 3 years old.
The third performance indicator involves: Asks "who," "why," and "where" questions and continues to ask "what" questions. To be honest, I do not normally see "who," "why," and "where" questions until after children's 3rd birthday. Only the top 15% of children actually reach this particular performance indicator before their 3rd birthday. Language skills can be extremely diverse at this age. Some children do well just to reach the "wat's dat?" stage by the time they are 3 years old. If a child is not asking "what" questions by the time he/she is 3 years old, developmental testing would be advisable. These inquisitive questions emerge when a child reaches a certain level of language development. All that comes before must be covered first. A great percentage of children that come through my door immediately set off my developmental delay radar on language nowadays. I usually have to take the first 3 months of instruction to determine if an actual developmental delay does exist or they are simply language deprived. Remember a child with a true developmental delay will not pull up quickly with good instruction. A language deprived child will blossom after good instruction.
The fourth performance indicator for this component is: Names body parts. This particular performance indicator represents my beginning point with children regardless of age. With children I have had since 12 months old, I will begin body parts instruction at 18 months unless I have suspicions of developmental delay. I have found that body parts instruction is a good place to begin to determine whether or not a child has been language deprived. My body parts list covers much more than just the basics. Therefore, many 4 year olds that walk through the door do not know half the list. How much trouble they have learning the unfamiliar body parts gives me good clues as to where they stand on language and acquiring new language skills. If a child knows all my body parts on the first day, I know that child has a good language foundation.
The last performance indicator for this component is: Consistently uses 2 or 3 word sentences. Again, because children's language skills vary so widely at this age, many children will not reach this milestone until right at or after their 3rd birthday. I have a child that is 3 months from her 3rd birthday and is talking in paragraphs. I had another child that did not really start using 2 or 3 word sentences until about a week before his 3rd birthday. Now, if you caught the gender difference in those two examples, you caught a trend that is very real. Girls very often develop language skills far ahead of their male counterparts. However, this particular little girl probably falls within the top 5% of her age group for language. I have a 4-year old boy that is behind her in many ways on the language front. He came to us greatly behind, and we have been playing catch up since he arrived. This is one of the byproducts of one-on-one instruction at this place. I will very often have younger children way ahead of older children because they have been here longer and fall into the advanced/gifted range. Children progress with development according to their own biological make-up and according to their experiences. As teachers all we can do is provide rich language experiences, and then proceed according to the child's biological make-up.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
The first performance indicator for this component is: Knows and can say first and last name. For the first name this performance indicator can usually be picked up through life experience. Most normally developing children have heard their name enough to be able to say it on their own. If they cannot say their first name by the time they are 3 years olds, developmental testing should be employed. Even those children with lagging language skills can still say their name by 3 years old even if they cannot say much else. The last name, however, can be a little tricky. The family dynamic that many childcare providers see now involves children with a different last name than their mother and sometimes a different last name than their siblings. In some cases, a mother will have 3 or 4 children that all have a different last name. I am not going to comment on the reasons for this trend. That is a post for another day. However, because the last name does not have the same significance that it had 20 or 30 years ago, it becomes necessary to actually work with the child on their full name. Many times the parents do not really work on this because of the different dynamic. They often do not want to overemphasize the difference in last names until it becomes necessary for school. When I was growing up, we often referred to our family by our last name. That helped us develop the same sense for our last name as our first name. Families rarely do this anymore.
The second performance indicator for this component is: Likes to recite nursery rhymes or books with rhyming patterns. This particular performance indicator takes for granted that children are exposed to nursery rhymes or have been read to on a regular basis. Both assumptions tend to be the exception instead of the norm. Instead, I often assume a child has had no experience with nursery rhymes or books and plan accordingly. Even with professional parents, you cannot assume they have had a rich language environment. Like many other childcare professionals, I go off the assumption that if they do not get it from me, they will not get it at all. It is not just the childcare professionals that have come to this conclusion. Pediatricians now ask parents to read to their children as part of the well baby check-ups on top of all the other recommendations. It seems many professionals finally realize that we are massively failing our children in the language development department. Make nursery rhymes and books with rhyming schemes part of your daily schedule, and you will see this particular performance indicator emerge in your childcare even if it has to happen beyond the age of 3 years old.
The third performance indicator involves: Asks "who," "why," and "where" questions and continues to ask "what" questions. To be honest, I do not normally see "who," "why," and "where" questions until after children's 3rd birthday. Only the top 15% of children actually reach this particular performance indicator before their 3rd birthday. Language skills can be extremely diverse at this age. Some children do well just to reach the "wat's dat?" stage by the time they are 3 years old. If a child is not asking "what" questions by the time he/she is 3 years old, developmental testing would be advisable. These inquisitive questions emerge when a child reaches a certain level of language development. All that comes before must be covered first. A great percentage of children that come through my door immediately set off my developmental delay radar on language nowadays. I usually have to take the first 3 months of instruction to determine if an actual developmental delay does exist or they are simply language deprived. Remember a child with a true developmental delay will not pull up quickly with good instruction. A language deprived child will blossom after good instruction.
The fourth performance indicator for this component is: Names body parts. This particular performance indicator represents my beginning point with children regardless of age. With children I have had since 12 months old, I will begin body parts instruction at 18 months unless I have suspicions of developmental delay. I have found that body parts instruction is a good place to begin to determine whether or not a child has been language deprived. My body parts list covers much more than just the basics. Therefore, many 4 year olds that walk through the door do not know half the list. How much trouble they have learning the unfamiliar body parts gives me good clues as to where they stand on language and acquiring new language skills. If a child knows all my body parts on the first day, I know that child has a good language foundation.
The last performance indicator for this component is: Consistently uses 2 or 3 word sentences. Again, because children's language skills vary so widely at this age, many children will not reach this milestone until right at or after their 3rd birthday. I have a child that is 3 months from her 3rd birthday and is talking in paragraphs. I had another child that did not really start using 2 or 3 word sentences until about a week before his 3rd birthday. Now, if you caught the gender difference in those two examples, you caught a trend that is very real. Girls very often develop language skills far ahead of their male counterparts. However, this particular little girl probably falls within the top 5% of her age group for language. I have a 4-year old boy that is behind her in many ways on the language front. He came to us greatly behind, and we have been playing catch up since he arrived. This is one of the byproducts of one-on-one instruction at this place. I will very often have younger children way ahead of older children because they have been here longer and fall into the advanced/gifted range. Children progress with development according to their own biological make-up and according to their experiences. As teachers all we can do is provide rich language experiences, and then proceed according to the child's biological make-up.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Dealing with Children that Complain
Next to arguing, complaining has to be one of the most emotionally draining weapons in a child's arsenal. It also happens to be one that adults use just as regularly. This post will look at the root causes of complaining with tips on how to teach children not to grow up to be so narcissistic.
Unhealthy Self-Esteem
Many, many people have written in recent years on the level of narcissism among today's children, teenagers, and young adults. Narcissism is basically self-centeredness taken to an extreme. These children believe the world revolves around them and they deserve everything for just being themselves. Of course, our overemphasis on self-esteem rather than self-acceptance has created this particular societal monster. We have taught them to be proud of themselves without tying it to actually accomplishing anything. Only recently have I seen articles on healthy self-esteem vs. unhealthy self-esteem. Finally psychologists and psychiatrists have linked the spike in narcissism with our push for building self-esteem. Unhealthy self-esteem has been defined as self-esteem divorced from one's accomplishments. Seems that sitting on your parents' couch at 25 playing video games all day should not make for a person that has healthy self-esteem. However, these young adults have all kinds of self-esteem and believe they have a right to everything.
The Constant Complaining
One of the worst byproducts of narcissism involves the constant complaining when they do not get what they want or their way. For many parents and caregivers this complaining can be relentless. It seems people under the age of 25 have no problem voicing their opposition constantly when life does not proceed on their schedule and according to their specifications. However, the complaining is more than just a constant barrage of grievances. Because of their inflated self-esteem, they normally phrase the complaints in such a way that they belittle the person or thing for which they have a grievance. For parents and caregivers of especially teenagers and young adults this type of complaining wears down your soul. Their inflated self-esteem robs you of any semblance of self-esteem you ever possessed. They will make you feel like a complete failure as a parent because you have the audacity to not have enough money to pay for whatever it is they believe they deserve be that a new car, the latest cell phone, etc. If they receive something of inferior quality to what they wanted, you will never hear the end of it. The poor replacement will be called everything under the sun until you give them what they want. This applies to objects as well as food. Heaven help you if you happen to expect them to eat what you have served. Complaining about food can be the worst of it all.
Maybe Respect is Necessary
How in the world did we get here? When we decided that respect was not necessary, we opened ourselves up to a world of evil. We have reaped disrespectful, ungrateful spoiled brats. Plus, we continue to push the very philosophies that led to our current predicament. Therefore, we will continue to have to deal with complaining of the sort that drives the recipients to the point of dismay. I am sorry, but you cannot raise children to believe that the world revolves around them and that they deserve everything their heart desires without having to work for it without reaping ungrateful children that argue and complain about everything. It just does not work.
Young Adults and Teenagers
Fixing the young adults and teenagers nearly takes a drill sergeant or some extremely hard life lessons at just the right time. Many of these children cannot adjust to adult life without therapy or extreme intervention. If you happened to have raised young adults or teenagers that are respectful and grateful, please tell the rest of the world how you accomplished that, but make sure that their employers and supervisors feel the same way that you do. I have found an extreme disconnect between parents' perceptions of their children and the real world's perceptions of their children. Some parents only see what they want to see thereby complicating their child(ren)'s sense of entitlement.
Young Children and School-Agers
Fixing young children and school-age children's sense of entitlement, however, is much simpler. It just takes consistently reminding those children that the world does not revolve around them. At many of the schools these days, one of the most used sayings is, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." That saying pretty much says it all. At my childcare, one of my rules is, "Do what Mrs. Natalie asks without pouting and complaining." When the children start the complaining, they will get that look from me. If they persist, I will simply tell them complaining is a sin. If they continue to persist, complaining is an inappropriate behavior and receives time-out until they are ready to quit. Do not put up with it. They do not have the right to badger you with verbal assaults because they are unhappy about their choices. We have got to raise the next generation to understand the world does not owe them anything. They will only get things when they work by the sweat of their brow.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
Unhealthy Self-Esteem
Many, many people have written in recent years on the level of narcissism among today's children, teenagers, and young adults. Narcissism is basically self-centeredness taken to an extreme. These children believe the world revolves around them and they deserve everything for just being themselves. Of course, our overemphasis on self-esteem rather than self-acceptance has created this particular societal monster. We have taught them to be proud of themselves without tying it to actually accomplishing anything. Only recently have I seen articles on healthy self-esteem vs. unhealthy self-esteem. Finally psychologists and psychiatrists have linked the spike in narcissism with our push for building self-esteem. Unhealthy self-esteem has been defined as self-esteem divorced from one's accomplishments. Seems that sitting on your parents' couch at 25 playing video games all day should not make for a person that has healthy self-esteem. However, these young adults have all kinds of self-esteem and believe they have a right to everything.
The Constant Complaining
One of the worst byproducts of narcissism involves the constant complaining when they do not get what they want or their way. For many parents and caregivers this complaining can be relentless. It seems people under the age of 25 have no problem voicing their opposition constantly when life does not proceed on their schedule and according to their specifications. However, the complaining is more than just a constant barrage of grievances. Because of their inflated self-esteem, they normally phrase the complaints in such a way that they belittle the person or thing for which they have a grievance. For parents and caregivers of especially teenagers and young adults this type of complaining wears down your soul. Their inflated self-esteem robs you of any semblance of self-esteem you ever possessed. They will make you feel like a complete failure as a parent because you have the audacity to not have enough money to pay for whatever it is they believe they deserve be that a new car, the latest cell phone, etc. If they receive something of inferior quality to what they wanted, you will never hear the end of it. The poor replacement will be called everything under the sun until you give them what they want. This applies to objects as well as food. Heaven help you if you happen to expect them to eat what you have served. Complaining about food can be the worst of it all.
Maybe Respect is Necessary
How in the world did we get here? When we decided that respect was not necessary, we opened ourselves up to a world of evil. We have reaped disrespectful, ungrateful spoiled brats. Plus, we continue to push the very philosophies that led to our current predicament. Therefore, we will continue to have to deal with complaining of the sort that drives the recipients to the point of dismay. I am sorry, but you cannot raise children to believe that the world revolves around them and that they deserve everything their heart desires without having to work for it without reaping ungrateful children that argue and complain about everything. It just does not work.
Young Adults and Teenagers
Fixing the young adults and teenagers nearly takes a drill sergeant or some extremely hard life lessons at just the right time. Many of these children cannot adjust to adult life without therapy or extreme intervention. If you happened to have raised young adults or teenagers that are respectful and grateful, please tell the rest of the world how you accomplished that, but make sure that their employers and supervisors feel the same way that you do. I have found an extreme disconnect between parents' perceptions of their children and the real world's perceptions of their children. Some parents only see what they want to see thereby complicating their child(ren)'s sense of entitlement.
Young Children and School-Agers
Fixing young children and school-age children's sense of entitlement, however, is much simpler. It just takes consistently reminding those children that the world does not revolve around them. At many of the schools these days, one of the most used sayings is, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." That saying pretty much says it all. At my childcare, one of my rules is, "Do what Mrs. Natalie asks without pouting and complaining." When the children start the complaining, they will get that look from me. If they persist, I will simply tell them complaining is a sin. If they continue to persist, complaining is an inappropriate behavior and receives time-out until they are ready to quit. Do not put up with it. They do not have the right to badger you with verbal assaults because they are unhappy about their choices. We have got to raise the next generation to understand the world does not owe them anything. They will only get things when they work by the sweat of their brow.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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