Teaching Children to Be Responsible

This post will deal with the task of teaching children to be responsible not only in terms of their duties, but also in terms of their actions.  Our society has raised at least one generation that does not take responsibility for either of these aspects.  We need desperately to raise the next generation to be hardworking individuals who understand they must take responsibility for their own actions.

The Definition of Responsible
Webster lists four different definitions for responsible.  They are as follows:  (1) liable to be called upon to answer for one's acts or decisions:  answerable.  (2) able to fulfill one's obligations:  reliable, trustworthy.  (3) able to choose for oneself between right and wrong.  (4) involving accountability or important duties.  We will look at all four definitions.

Being Answerable
The first definition deals with being answerable for one's acts and/or decisions.  Oh my word, this one's presence in our present society is nearly laughable.  In this society everything is the other guy's fault.  To find an adult that actually makes himself/herself answerable for his/her actions or decisions is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.  These people do exist, but they usually have the book thrown at them if they dare to admit a mistake or failure.  It makes people in this society extremely uncomfortable to be around someone that believes we should answer for our actions and decisions.  However, they want everyone else to answer for everything.  We live in a country with very little mercy for others because of our lack of answerability for our own actions and decisions.  Lack of answerability has widespread consequences in a society.  We are presently living with those consequences, and if we do not work to correct it, it will mean the decline of our nation into obscurity.  However, I see no break in the mantra that no one is to blame for their actions because of the belief that we are solely products of our environments instead of being people with free will.  We must begin to scream at the top of our lungs that people must be answerable for their own actions and decisions.  We must begin to be honest with ourselves about the messes in which we find ourselves and quit trying to get everyone else to fix them.  We make our choices, and whether we like it or not, we live with the consequences.  It is built into the universe, and we cannot change it.

Fulfilling Obligations
The second definition involves fulfilling one's obligations.  I have already written an article on being reliable and trustworthy.  However, I will touch on it again here.  Obligation has become a dirty word in our society.  Whether we like to admit or not, we often look at obligations as options rather than as responsibilities.  Gone are the days when a person would fulfill their obligations even if it meant doing without.  We are just not a society that does without anything.  This is why our nation has a debt crisis.  Number one, we need to learn as a society to be slow to make obligations if we want to be able to start fulfilling our obligations.  Because we look at them as options, we often do not truly weigh out the pros and cons of promises before we make them.  In nearly everything, we half look before we leap, and then when the promise goes south, we blame everyone else for not being able to fulfill our obligations.  Number two, when we do make obligations even on a whim, we need to learn to follow through with it even if it is painful.  This will teach us to follow suggestion number one.

Choosing Between Right and Wrong
Definition number three presents a true conundrum for our society.  In order to be able to choose between right and wrong, one has to believe that a right and wrong answer actually exists.  Otherwise we are simply choosing between shades of gray.  I have said it before, and I say it again.  Relativism will be the demise of this society unless we again begin to teach our children the difference between right and wrong.

Accountability
The last definition covers the aspect of accountability.  Again, as with every other aspect of responsibility, our society does a very poor job with accountability.  We do not live our lives as if we will give an account for the things we have done and the decisions we make.  However, if we are to become a responsible society once again, we will have to live our lives that way.  For those of us who are Christian, we understand that we will one day stand before our Maker and give an account of our lives.  Sometimes even we that know this, still do not live our lives as if we will give an accounting.  The attitude of being accountable for everything is the cornerstone of being a responsible person.  When we believe that our day-to-day actions will be judged as to their merit, it changes how we approach everything.  It becomes much easier to put more effort into our duties and decisions because the consequences are never far from our mind.  We know and understand that all we do has importance even if it is just a very small detail.  This knowledge transforms us into responsible adults.

The Power of Consequences
How does this translate into the early childhood realm?  We must teach children that there are consequences for their actions.  We must resist the urge to save them from the consequences of their actions in order for them to learn about these consequences.  The early childhood world has become obsessed with making childhood magical and completely free from harm.  That is both dangerous and completely impractical.  Children will never learn to be responsible if they never learn about consequences.

The Power of Promises
We must also teach children the power of promises.  If a child promises something, make that child stand by his/her promise.  It will only take a few times for that child to learn not to be hasty about making promises at least around you.  Also, a child that never has duties will never understand how to be reliable.  We have been very guilty of no expectations for children as far as chores or other jobs are concerned.  I teach the children in my care the difference between work and play.  I teach them that work is to be done whether or not they like it or want to do it.  This is absolutely essential if we want to raise responsible adults.  We may all want to live in a world where we never have to do anything we do not want to do, but I am afraid that world does not exist in this present age.  If you do not do what is necessary, someone else has to do it making you lazy and irresponsible.  Period.

Right and Wrong Are Important
Finally, we must teach the children the difference between right and wrong.  We must also teach them that all of their actions matter in the long run.  Half-done work and sloppy work costs you.  That one lesson alone may be the difference in whether that child succeeds in the future or not.  Many people would be much more successful if they finished their work completely and did everything to their best ability.  Laziness is a real problem contrary to popular belief, and we must teach the next generation how to be responsible and productive citizens of the world.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!!

Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457