The Definition of Mercy
Webster has a wide range of definitions for mercy, but I am going to zero in on this one: compassion shown to an offender. I chose this one because this is the one our society struggles with the most. We throw the book at people who make mistakes. We often act like we never make mistakes, and therefore have zero tolerance for anyone who does. Don't believe me? Try admitting a mistake in front of some colleagues or even worse your fellow church members, and see how fast that turns into an ugly episode for you. Granted not everyone is like that, but there are enough people with this tendency that in any given group, there will be one to spread your failures like wildfire. The early childhood community is even worse than fellow church members. Admitting a mistake is to admit being unprofessional for two seconds, and that could cost you your business. Just ask anyone that has been on the receiving end of the Department of Human Services or the Department of Children's Services. They give absolute new meaning to the word "vicious."
Does Professionalism Breed Viciousness?
What is it about our society that breeds such viciousness? I actually believe that is an ugly byproduct of our society's overemphasis on professionalism. We are a success oriented society. We believe that we should always go from one success to the next big thing. To have failure is unacceptable. Don't believe me? Just listen to how business people talk when they discuss long-term plans. In the business world profits should constantly increase from year to year, and if they do not, heads will roll. Every aspect of our society has fallen prey to this philosophy. Test scores in schools should always go up from year to year. People should become more productive in their jobs from year to year. We are trained to be professionals, and that really does not leave us much room for error. However, life just does not function according to that theory, and when life happens, people fall into despair because of their absolutely unrealistic expectations. When life happens to other people, we have to rationalize why that will not happen to us in order to keep up the appearance of being a professional. This causes us to be people with no mercy.
Child Care Robots
There may be many other reasons for the lack of mercy in our society, but in the early childhood world, this is the biggest underlying cause of being unmerciful. One of my friends once described the effects of "professionalism" on child care providers as turning us into child care robots. He hit the nail on the head. Any field that deals with human beings cannot be anything but messy and unpredictable. It is impossible for child care to be neat and precise. We are imperfect human beings trying to raise imperfect human beings. It gets messy and complicated. Of all the professions in the world, child care providers should be given the most slack, and yet, they are given the least. The same can also be said of parents. The funny thing is that these two groups afford each other the least mercy.
Everyone Is Imperfect
How does one become a merciful person? The first step is to acknowledge that all people are imperfect. We are all capable of making huge mistakes. Before you start throwing dirt in a person's direction, take a good look at yourself and acknowledge that you are just as capable of doing wrong. It may be a different wrong, but all wrong hurts someone. That person's wrong may have just hurt more people or done more damage. When we acknowledge our shortcomings, the level of our viciousness toward each other decreases. Humility breeds mercy. The second step is to lay aside spitefulness and vengeance. When we leave vengeance and spitefulness alone, we give each other much more room to learn from our mistakes. In other words, we cut each other slack. People need room to grow and develop. We have to make mistakes to learn some lessons. If we are constantly holding everything against everybody, nobody ever truly grows up. We just all live behind masks terrified someone will actually figure out who we truly are. Sadly, that describes so many American people. Now can you see why overemphasis on professionalism has a very ugly side.
Cut Each Other Some Slack
Now let's take this into the early childhood realm. Children learn to relate to one another through experiences and watching adults relate to one another. If we want to raise merciful children, they must see us cut each other slack. They must come to realize that no one is perfect, and we have no right to expect anyone to be perfect. We do this through teaching and modeling combined. If all we do is teach it without modeling it, we are teaching them to be hypocrites. If all we do is model it without explaining it, they do not truly grasp the concept. We have to help them see how to be merciful in the situations that arise in their lives. Use teachable moments to bring this point home. Above all, watch what you discuss with other adults in front of children. They may not understand the subject matter of what you are discussing, but they will pick up on your attitudes. If you are gossiping, bashing other people (even politicians are people, too), or going off about a situation, the children listening to your conversation are learning about the adult world from you. Be careful what you teach them!!
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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