This post will deal with the task of training children to be kindhearted. In a world where everyone seems to be snarky and hateful, instilling kindness can be a difficult challenge. Of course, like every other character trait I have covered, I will start with the adults first.
The Definition of Kind
Webster defines kind as being of a sympathetic, forbearing, or pleasant nature. I really like that definition. I will deal with all three aspects of kindness. Being sympathetic involves understanding another person's perspective. A forbearing person has longsuffering and is not easily angered. A pleasant person in today's terms would be called an optimist. This type of person looks for the good in all situations.
Being Sympathetic
Let's start the discussion with being sympathetic. This is not a skill that many adults have in abundance. When I was taking classes for organizational management, perspective taking topped the list of skills managers must have in order to do their job well. Can you as the adult, set aside your prejudices and opinions and look at a situation from another person's point of view? Did you realize that was an aspect of kindness? The old Native American saying "don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my moccasins" truly fits this aspect of kindness. As adults we have to be slow to judge others. If you are a person that jumps to conclusions all the time, did you realize that made people look at you as being unkind? Being judgmental is the opposite of being kind. However, let me clarify one thing. There is a difference between sympathy and empathy. You can have sympathy for a person while still not agreeing with that person's opinion or stance. With empathy you are in full agreement with that person and understand exactly the situation in which he/she is dealing. The trick with being sympathetic stems from how you treat a person that disagrees with you. We must treat people with dignity and respect even when we have sharp disagreements with one another. That is how you show kindness to all.
Forbearing
Next let's look at forbearing. This one may seem old-fashioned to many people. In our me-driven society, putting up with other people tends not to be high on people's priority list. We want to do what is best for us, and if how you are does not fit our agenda, we will set out to change you. However, we must remember that it takes all types of people to make a society function, and just because that particular personality type does not set well with you does not mean that it does not have a place or function in our society as a whole. You must also remember that many people may feel that way about you. We tend to try to fix or change what does not fit our stereotypes of normal. I absolutely love 19th century novelists because of the vivid and messy character descriptions they delivered in their works. Dickens was a master of portraying the different people in communities without passing judgment per se on that character. Many times I could picture someone in my small town that fit that description perfectly. It made me realize that everyone has a part to play in society as a whole. We need to cut each other a whole lot of slack. Again this basically comes down to not being judgmental, but it goes beyond that. This comes down to understanding and respecting everyone's place in the big picture and letting them fulfill that place without interference. Did you ever consider this to be an aspect of kindness? We cannot be truly kind to people if we are trying to make them fit our mold of normal. Again I say, treat people with dignity and respect and let God deal with the judging.
A Pleasant Nature
The last aspect of kindness I want to look at deals with having a pleasant nature. Before I go any further let me clarify that there is a difference between between pleasant and being perky. Pleasantness has absolutely nothing to do with circumstances. It is a quality of the soul. It involves being able to find the good in every situation and make the most of it. Perkiness, on the other hand, tends to be contrived. Most of the time, it involves people trying to be positive without having the internal anchor of hope. It has no depth or realness, which is why many people find it so annoying. When a person looks for the good in both people and situations, that person tends to treat other people with respect and dignity. Are you seeing the pattern? Kindness involves treating other people with respect and dignity.
The Golden Rule
How does all of this translate into the early childhood environment? Of course, you as the adult need to model kindness. That is a given. The simplest method might be to just firmly enforce the Golden Rule. Make it as much a part of your environment as the toys. Drill and instill into the children that they should treat others just like they would want to be treated. This method has worked for over 2000 years. I do believe it has a better track record than any other method. Make sure you talk to the children about the other child's perspective especially. Sympathy is not an easy concept for preschoolers. This will need time and attention on a daily basis. When the children get annoyed with one another, make sure you teach them to be forbearing. Teach them to appreciate differences in personality and perspective. Don't force children to be perky. Teach them to see the good in every situation. Teach them to see the good in each other. These are the types of activities that will develop kindness. Spend as much time on character every day as you do any other aspect of your curriculum.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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