This post will cover the concept of joy versus happiness. These two are not the same. Happiness is based on circumstances. Joy comes from inner strength. Very few adults have this difference conquered, but that does not mean that children cannot learn this lesson early in life.
The Definition of Joy
Webster defines joy as a feeling of happiness that comes from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being. Joy encompasses happiness, but happiness does not necessarily encompass joy. Let me explain. Have you ever had success at something and at first it made you very happy. Then something else came along that sucked all the happiness out of the situation. Happiness can be very fleeting. Joy, however, is more stable. You can take joy in a success even when others are trying to suck the life out of your success. I had this happen when I was submitting my first book for publication. I was so excited about publishing my first book that I was nearly beside myself. Then someone came along and squashed all my happiness with a few snarky remarks. They made me doubt my good fortune, and thus stole my happiness. I had to rise above the snarky remarks in order to have joy in the situation.
Happiness Junkies
Our culture is absolutely chalked full of happiness junkies. They search after happiness not understanding that happiness can be a very fickle emotion. Happiness very much depends on having everything going your way. When suddenly something does not go your way, happiness disappears as suddenly as it came. It is very easy to get sucked into this trap. On a daily basis everyone has good and bad happen. It's part of life. When the good happens, we feel elated. When the bad happens, it makes it seem like the good never existed. I remember one day in particular that happened a couple of years ago. I received four different bits of really good news. Any one of these would have been enough to put me in a very good mood for days. Then later that day I had to deal with a very ugly parent episode at my childcare. That episode sucked all the life out of me and made my four pieces of good news seem like nothing. I relied on happiness instead of letting joy be my anchor that day, and I paid for it.
A Sense of Well-being
What exactly makes joy more lasting than happiness? I think we can find the key in the last phrase of the Webster definition. It is a "sense of well-being." However, it goes deeper than that. I would phrase more as a "sense that everything will be okay and work itself out in the end." For Christians it very much comes down to Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose (NASB)." We have this great sense that all things are working toward a greater good and purpose in our lives. We accept the bad as lessons to be learned and try to use them to become better people. We take joy in our lives because it is based on something beyond just our temporal experiences. It can feel as strong as happiness at times. At other times it is like this constant flow of goodness that we cling to in order to maintain. Thus, joy can be experienced when it seems the world is collapsing around you. Happiness cannot do that for you.
True Success
How do we translate this into the world of toddlers and preschoolers? First of all, we teach the children about true success. Children that are handed everything on a platter will never experience anything beyond happiness and that might be very fleeting at times. Children that have to work for their successes will learn the joy of a job well done early in life. Therefore, do not be quick to step in and do things for children if they are capable of doing them. It is okay to let a child flounder for a while. It builds resilience in that child. Nothing beats the look on a child's face when they finally conquer something they have struggled with for a long time. That is pure joy.
Count Their Blessings
Secondly, we teach children to count their blessings. Again, children that are handed everything on a platter never truly appreciate anything. Therefore, it is okay to make a child do without. I am not talking about life necessities like food, water, and shelter. I am talking about all other material things that are not necessities of life. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a child is make them work for the things they want rather than just having everything given to them. If that child is not willing to work for that special something, that child can do without it. It will not kill them contrary to popular belief. When that child has to work to acquire that special something, I guarantee that child will take more joy in it and will take better care of it because the child will have a sense of what it is worth.
A Loving God
Lastly, teach them about a loving God that does cause all things to work together for the good. When a child sees an adult that truly believes this and lives by this, then that child will grow up with a greater sense of overall well-being. The one lesson I pray is my legacy to my children and grandchildren is that my God has never failed me. We have lived through some hard, hard times but we made it and did okay because God always provided what we needed. We may not have gotten all we wanted, but He never failed to provide what we need.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
No comments:
Post a Comment