Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Dealing with Children That Do Not Take Adults Seriously

This post will look at the growing issue of children that do not take adults seriously.  These children have been so accommodated by the adults in their life that they tend to look at adults as large slaves rather than authority figures.  Of course, this is directly related to the lack of respect for authority that I covered several posts ago.  We will look at the underlying causes and some ways to help these children learn to truly respect authority.

The Scenario
This problem has to be one of the most frustrating issues childcares face today.  You ask a child to do something, and they look at you like you are crazy.  Then they turn around and demand you do something for them.  Many children today take your instructions and treat them like suggestions that they can follow if they want, but if they do not want to do it, they can completely ignore you.  If you persist in asking them to do something, they will fall in the floor and act like they are being tortured.  This happens most often at pick-up time or anything else that remotely resembles work.

The Right to Refuse
Some in the early childhood field have no problem with this behavior.  They believe children should have the right to refuse to do anything they do not feel like doing.  Unfortunately for everyone in this industry the people that have that opinion represent the ones that make all the rules.  They believe that adults should coax and beg or trick children to do what they are supposed to do rather than simply tell them to do what they are supposed to do.  In their philosophical world, children choose to do the right things because they have been lead gently to the right choices not because they have been made to do what is right.  I will refer you to the previous paragraph to show you how that philosophy plays out in the real world.  This philosophy is so upside down and backwards I do not even know where to begin.

The Need for Obedience and Respect
I understand the why behind this philosophy.  They feel that making children be obedient and respecting authority makes them more vulnerable to child abuse.  They will also tell you that teaching children to be obedient really does not work.  They may do what you want, but they do not learn anything unless they choose to do it themselves.  Oh really?  How is it that people within the last 50 years have decided that every previous generation for thousands of years did not learn anything through obedience and respect for authority.  That has to be the most ludicrous statement I have ever heard.  It also shows a complete lack of knowledge of history.  Obedience teaches a child to do what is necessary whether they like it or not.  Respect for authority keeps children from acting on their immature impulses and doing things that are not wise.  When you remove obedience and respect for authority, what happens in the real world is that you turn adults into slaves of the children in which they provide care.  Look around you.  Children are becoming tyrants not learning good choices.

The Bandwagon Effect
At this point I want to have a discussion about propaganda techniques.  One of the most popular tricks is called the "bandwagon effect."  This technique says that if you say something often enough with enough authority behind it, everyone will believe it to be true whether it is or not.  We have this used on us as a society every single day.  It makes me sick to my stomach how easily the American public falls for this technique.  If the media uses the words "latest research," we believe what they say hook, line, and sinker.  I guess I understand how easy it is to bias research especially in the humanities.  However, even in the scientific fields where they use hard data, they can still skew results nearly any way they want.  If you do not understand that, you are doomed to follow a lot of fads that will be proven false in a few years.  Why do Americans have such short memories?  They do not realize that what was the "latest research" just last year has been completely debunked.  They just simply latch onto the new "latest research."  Good grief, people.  Please, start thinking for yourselves.  In the early childhood field, we are thrown the words "best practice."  I can guarantee that the majority of the "research" that proves "best practice" has a liberal slant and has been intentionally made to disprove the conservative point of view.  If you think they chose the words "best practice" randomly, I am afraid you might be a bit nieve.  This is probably the most blatant use of the bandwagon effect out there at the moment.  I am now off my soapbox.

How do we fix this problem?
The answer is quite simple unless you live in a heavily regulated state or have to follow accreditation criteria.  Children must be taught that obedience and respect for authority are important, very important.  How do you do that when you are forced to give children choices?  When children have the right to say "no" to anything, it is nearly impossible to teach them obedience.  However, let me just throw out this example.  Are children allowed to say "no" to handwashing in any regulations?  The answer to that question is "no."  Liberals have double standards.  You have to understand.  They want you to force children to do what they think is important, but not anything that falls under what conservatives consider character training.  The same way that you enforce handwashing can be used to enforce all the other.  You simply just do not give them the option to do otherwise.  Will this get you in trouble with the regulators?  Possibly, but sometimes you have to make a choice and do what it is truly right for the children in your care.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457



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