This post will deal with the ever increasing problem of children that refuse to be controlled. We all have seen the scenario. A child, usually big for his/her age, gets angry with the caregiver/teacher and gets violent. Many of us have been punched, bitten, kicked, had things thrown at us, etc. This ugly scenario plays out every day in childcares all over America. Where did this come from?
The New Level of Aggression
I can attest that when I went to school any child in the early grades that even dared look at the teacher hard could be cowed back down without incident. In middle school we did start to have issues with children getting violent with teachers even in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. However, now we have the middle school issues in preschool. Many longtime preschool teachers will attest that the level of aggression toward adults by children has grown to a level that is forcing many of them to leave the field. Personally I have been bitten, punched, kicked, and had objects thrown in my direction by children as young as two. I will not deny that in those moments I consider heavily why I bother with this profession.
What Causes Zero-Tolerance Policies in Preschool
Much has been made in the media lately about children being kicked out of preschool. The spin on much of this coverage has been on the disproportionate number of minority children that are removed from preschools. They also discussed the zero tolerance policies that many preschools and elementary schools now have in place. What they did not discuss was why do all these schools have such strict disciplinary policies in place now. Some of the stranger policies actually stem from overzealous regulations. For example, when a child is removed from a preschool for using their finger as a gun, that is because in the scales used to rate preschools any form of violence or violent play will cause the caregiver to be either wrote up or docked. However, I will tell you that the majority of the push for such stringent disciplinary codes comes down to out of control children. As a teacher, I do not care what color a child may be when that child doubles up his/her fist and punches another child or teacher in the face. That child is not coming back, period. When this problem is coupled with the expectations of many parents that their child have a wonderful school experience all the time, you get the zero tolerance policies we now see in almost every school.
What Do We Do?
This problem is actually so multi-faceted that nailing down one cause cannot be done. This problem has come to us through years and years of several bad philosophies and parenting styles. It seems to me that parenting and childcare went off of a tangent in the late 1980s that has been building and building until we now find ourselves overpowered, manipulated, and sometimes flat out scared of our children. To fix this will require more than I think our society is willing to do. We must admit that some of our beloved theories about childhood are skewed and flat out wrong. However, I am not the only one sounding this alarm. More and more I come across articles that say exactly what I say week after week. So what do we need to throw out?
Unrealistic Expectations for Childhood
Removing the unrealistic expectations for childhood needs to be the first item out the window. Most of the violent outbursts by children come down to the child not getting his/her way. We have made more than one generation of children believe that they are entitled to whatever they want. We, as parents, have tried to make our children's childhood magical and everything we never got. Instead of creating well-balanced, satisfied children, we have created selfish, irrational beings that cannot deal with not getting what they want all the time. Guess what people, bring back the chores and having to do things that are not fun whether you like it or not, and you will get well-balanced, satisfied children.
Helicopter Parenting
The next item that needs to fly out the window is helicopter parenting. I read an article this week that talked about why millenials have a harder time getting and holding down a job. The article, written by a human resource professional of a large company, blamed helicopter parenting. I nearly jumped up and down and applauded. She actually told stories of how parents accompanied their grown children to a job interview. When children are not raised to do for themselves, it causes problems in more ways than I can cover in one article, but it does contribute to the violent meltdowns we see in children. They do not know how to handle hardly any situation on their own and often rely on violent measures to cope. Back off parents and let your children learn to handle life on their own. They cannot become functioning adults unless they are allowed to learn from their mistakes large and small.
The Fallen Nature
The last item involves something that needs to come back in the window not be thrown out. As a society we must come to terms with mankind's fallen nature. We are born into this world fully capable of sin without assistance. We do not need to be taught to do wrong. Are you aware that every single early childhood theorist that is revered in the early childhood community did not believe in the fallen nature of man? That presents a massive problem because that means that those theories are built on the wrong foundation. I am sorry to inform you that we will never evolve out of our fallen nature. However, to admit this particular piece of information means you have to admit that God is right and man is wrong. When God said, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God," He meant it. Our society does not even want to admit the existence of God much less that He is right about the condition of our souls. Until you view children as fully capable of sin without assistance, your efforts to correct behavior can never have the same results as when you base your strategies on that foundation. The tangent started when we became convinced that we knew better than God how to raise our children. Guess what, people? We have made the most colossal mess this world has seen in many, many, many generations.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
No comments:
Post a Comment