This post will look at the huge problem of destructiveness in children. Some children are destructive out of spite and meanness. Some children are destructive in a way that is not on purpose. I will look at both types of destructiveness.
The Scenario
As childcare providers or even parents we have seen the scenario all too often where a child gets angry and completely destroys whatever is closest to him/her. We also have those children that just seem to be masters of disaster. They do not mean to break things but they always manage to do so. Either way as business owners or parents we are constantly having to replace the broken items or just do without. Many parents do not understand how costly this one issue has made running a childcare in recent years. This is especially true for those individuals unfortunate enough to live in highly regulated states. For those people doing without is not even an option. Every thing must be replaced as soon as it is damaged.
The "Poof" Environment
What has caused this massive uptick in destructive behavior in children? I blame our "poof" environments undergirded by child-centered regulations. When I was a child, breaking toys meant they were gone forever. I played with many dolls without arms and legs and even heads because I did not get a new one except for Christmas. My toys did not magically reappear when I lost them or damaged them. Yet, that is exactly what many regulations require. In many states we have to maintain a certain amount of items especially items that promote diversity. If the children happen to completely destroy these items, we have to replace them or get docked for it. This teaches the children that stuff will magically reappear if they destroy it. They do not realize how financially burdensome this particular brand of magic is for their providers. All they know is that they will always have what they have no matter how badly they treat it. This teaches a horrible lesson, and is, in my opinion, the biggest contributor to the destructive behavior we see.
No More "Poof" Environment for Me
I happen to live in one of those states that has such regulations, and since I have dropped below licensing level, I feel as if I have been freed from slavery. Now, when the children break things in my childcare, they feel the pain of doing without. Nothing magically reappears in my childcare. Does this cause weeping and gnashing of teeth? Absolutely, and that brings me to the second biggest reason for destructive behavior in children. The philosophy that children's childhood should be magical and without unhappiness puts providers in a precarious situation when those darling little angels break $300 worth of toys in a morning. If we make them do without, they just might (gasp) cry. We should never do things in our childcares that make the children unhappy according to many early childhood experts. I have seen childcare providers nearly come unglued because a child decided to have a crying fit when a state person was in the house. Did it matter that the child was being destructive or manipulative? Absolutely not. The state people want you to comfort that child pronto and do whatever is necessary to keep that child from "stress." Guess what state people, a little stress is healthy for a child especially when that child is behaving badly.
The Entitled Generation
We are raising one of the most spoiled generations to ever come down the pike, and we are already paying for it. You do not have to watch the news very long at all these days before you come across a story about someone walking all over another person to get what he/she wants. Creating an entitled society will be our absolute demise probably sooner than we know. Someone has to take care of the entitled. What will we do when everyone feels entitled, and we no longer have anyone to take care of them? Anyone ever heard of Big Brother? I am afraid that one of these days our reality will make some apocalyptic literature seem like a walk in the park.
The Nutrition Connection
I have talked about the deliberately destructive, but we also seem to have a huge uptick in children that cannot seem to control themselves. They do not deliberately destroy things, but they are just as destructive as the other bunch. These children tend to be big for their age and unable to sit still or focus for more than two seconds. Small children can also fit into this category, but it has been my experience that these children trend to the obese and overweight children. Over the years I have tried to find common denominators in these children, and this is what I have observed. Number one, these children tend to be picky eaters even if they are small. They hardly ever eat vegetables and sometimes fruit. They also tend to be the ones particular about their milk. Either they hate milk, or they have to have flavored milk. The picky eating also seems to come into play with the deliberately destructive. It seems that either lack of nutrition causes children to be destructive and/or the causes for picky eating and destructive behavior stem from the same source. Either way, fixing the picky eating fixes quite a bit of the destructive behavior as well. When I took away the flavored milk and really developed my menu to contain lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, I cut down a massive amount of the destructive behavior I was seeing. When I started new children, it took 6 to 9 months to get results (with much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the food), but when those children finally learned to eat their vegetables and drink white milk, they calmed down considerably.
Bad Sleeping Habits Connection
The second common denominator is bad sleeping habits. These children tend to be the bad nappers or be the ones the parents swear do not need a nap anymore. They also have inconsistent bedtimes. Again, this holds true for the deliberately destructive as well as the non-deliberately destructive. Basically, this boils down to the children being constantly overstimulated. Sleep for young children is far more important than anyone today will actually admit because again you are running into having to constantly make children happy. Taking a nap makes some children completely ballistic, and it is usually those children that need the nap the most. At my childcare, nap has never been an option. I have taken my hits for that over the years because for me that one is non-negotiable. I refuse to have to take care of children that are constantly overstimulated. It is completely unnecessary.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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