This post will deal with those children that have mastered the art of looking busy but are not at all and/or drag their feet when asked to do something to the point that most adults give up and do it for them. In case, you are not from the South that is the definition of piddling. This particular little character quirk nearly drives me to distraction at times. That might be because I was a piddler when I was little, and I know how much I have paid for that particular character quirk as an adult.
The Scenario
We have all seen those children during pick up times that manage to only pick up one or two things while everyone else is busy, and yet they appear to be as busy as the rest. These tend to be very smart, very sneaky children of which I was one. The root of this character trait is laziness pure and simple, but it is a sneaky laziness. When these same children are given a chore all by themselves, they either pick up so slowly that rather than wait on them most adults give up and do it for them, or they find everything else in the world to do except what they are supposed to do. The goal for these children remains to get out of work in any way imaginable.
Confessions of a Piddler
Unfortunately for the children in my care, I know exactly how this game is played. I was exceptionally good at it. That also means I completely understand how detrimental it can be for a child when this behavior goes unchecked. Believe me, having to learn to undo piddling as an adult is 1000% harder than fixing it as a child. However, the piddlers in your midst will wail and scream and act like their world is coming to an end if you call them on this behavior. Laziness can be a very ugly character trait to fix.
What Is the Big Deal?
Many adults would rather do for these children rather than deal with the drama that ensues when work has to be done. However, let me explain what it is like to be an adult piddler. We all know those people that talk big about doing things but never seem to accomplish anything. Piddler. We also know those people that will start a job only to be distracted 5 minutes into it and never finish what they start. Piddler. Then there are those coworkers or family members that moan and groan every time they are asked to do anything and rather than listen to them, you just do it yourself. Piddler. Do you personally like dealing with piddlers? They never accomplish anything. They cannot finish a job and are some of the most worthless employees and fellow workers on the planet. Is that the type of adult you want to be responsible for raising? If the answer to that question is no, then let me tell you how to deal with the piddlers in your life.
Give Them a Specific Job
What I am about to tell you will work on piddlers from age 2 to 100. It encompasses basically what I had to do to myself as an adult to undo years of piddling. Task number one, structure work in such a way that the piddlers have a specific job in which they are responsible. In my childcare, I take care of this through my center times. I do not allow roaming during center times. They choose a center and stay in that center during that particular stretch of time, which is usually 20 to 30 minutes. What does this accomplish? The mess they make is their mess and cannot be blamed on anyone else. When pick-up time is called, they have to pick up their mess. I cannot begin to tell you how marvelous this particular scheme works on the children who will pick up one of two things during a group pick up time and let everyone else do all the work. That first time they realize they have to pick up their own mess can get ugly. I have had some of the worst hissy fits during those times, but as a former piddler, I just smile inside and tell them to get busy. I know firsthand that I am doing them one of the greatest favors I could possibly do for them.
Finish the Job - Everytime
Task number two, work on finishing the job every single time. Many times adults will get exasperated with piddlers and help them finish the work just to get it done faster. My mother is one of those people. She raised me, and I did not become a piddler by accident. Now that she works in my childcare, I have to constantly remind her to stop doing for the children. We have four children and four piddlers. They will take advantage of my mother's weakness to the absolute extreme if I do not intervene. I cannot stress enough how important it is to NOT do for piddlers. One of the life lessons they need to learn worse than anything is to finish the job themselves. I know it takes more patience than most of us possess to work a piddler through this lesson, but just consider it a good life lesson for yourself. All of us can learn to have more patience. Also, when you do for a piddler, you become an enabler. I hope you understand how dangerous enabling can be even in this realm. Many times people that are enabled in one area fall prey to more dangerous enabling. Do not even go down this path at all.
The Meaning of Work
Task number three, teach the children and the adults that work has to be done whether you like or not. This has to be one of the greatest lessons that has fallen by the wayside in our society. Work does not have to be fun. Work has to be done. Make that your motto and all the people in your sphere of influence will be prosperous and industrious. Piddling should not be tolerated in any form or fashion.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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