This post will deal with the very difficult proposition of teaching children patience. Many, many adults do not have this skill especially in our instant gratification culture. However, people and children who possess this skill have been shown to be happier, healthier, and more successful than those that do not. Therefore, even though you will be fighting a major uphill battle, helping children to acquire even the least little bit of patience will be very worthwhile in the long run.
What Is Patience?
Before I proceed, I want to define patience. Patience deals with the ability to postpone gratification without becoming fretful. It is so much more than the ability to wait, but it does involve that as well. Patience goes with the flow with the knowledge that something better will be obtained in the long run. It involves the ability to move from one step to the next in a process without losing sight of the goal ahead. As in the parable of the tortoise and the hare, patience is the slow and steady movement toward a goal without wavering.
Adults First
As I stated before, many, many, many adults do not possess this skill, and it is a skill. That means it can be developed. Even though some people are born with a greater tendency for this skill (just like all other skills), these people still have to work to develop this in their lives to truly see the fruit of it. Therefore, before I move on to developing this skill in children, I want to talk to the adults. If you do not have this skill in abundance, you will never be able to help children develop it. Teaching children the art of patience requires a great deal of patience on the part of the instructor. Maybe that is why this skill can be so rare. Many people joke about never "praying for patience" because that will be like asking for trials and tribulations. However, I have news for you. Trials and tribulations come whether or not you pray for patience. Patience is one of the greatest skills you will ever acquire and will serve you better than many, many other life skills we Americans spend so much time to develop (multi-tasking for one). As I describe the process of instilling patience in children, make a conscience decision to work on these things in your own life first and foremost. When you do, teaching patience to children will be an outflow of your own character.
Slow and Steady
One would think that teaching children to wait would be the first step in this process, but it actually is not. Remember waiting only encompasses part of the definition of patience. The slow and steady pace of working toward goals is equally if not more important than the actual waiting. Therefore, the first order of business is to make your childcare schedule as slow and steady as possible. In our chaotic world, that can be a tall order. However, when children are used to steadily working through the schedule of the day instead of a mad rush for everything, it instills in them that rhythm that is so essential in learning to move from point A to point B taking care of all points in between. Many people never accomplish their goals because they cannot move along the process in a steady manner. When your day proceeds along an expected path with certain items that must be done in a certain order, you teach children how to patiently work toward a goal.
Waiting without Pouting and Fretting
The next step is teaching children to wait without pouting or fretting. The kicker in that statement involves no pouting and fretting. Many children have to wait for things, but they do so in such a way that they make everyone around them completely miserable. That is not patience. One of my favorite word pictures from the Bible is found in Psalms where it speaks of quieting one's soul as a child that is weaned. This is the most perfect picture of patience I have ever found. A child that has been completely weaned from bottle or breast no longer frets or cries for it. They are quiet and content. When we must wait for something, we need to be quiet and content in the waiting happily occupying ourselves until the desired outcome arrives. With children, this lesson is simple. When they must wait, we teach them to occupy themselves and not pester. As they gain more experience with this, they will gain a maturity modern families do not think is possible.
A True Story
Before I leave this subject, I want to give you an example of how much patience a child is capable of achieving. When I was a child of eight, I actually tamed a wild kitten. This process required me to do the same thing over and over for several weeks. It also required me to be extremely quiet and still, slow and methodical. That experience taught me more patience than nearly any other experience I have had in my life, and because I was successful, I developed a great deal of patience at an early age. The key to this success involved my great desire to have that calico kitten and the fact that my mother made me entertain myself for most of my childhood. We do children a huge disservice by constantly entertaining them. Learning to entertain themselves is a vital part of learning patience.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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