This post will deal with the overwhelming task of getting 21st century children to focus on something for longer than two seconds. Recent research has plainly pointed out that children with the ability to focus do much better in school than those who cannot focus. Therefore, teaching this skill in early childhood is of paramount importance.
What Is Focus?
What exactly do the researchers mean when they talk about focus? This actually involves many skills including but not limited to self control, perseverance, the ability to listen (which I covered in my previous post), the ability to follow directions (which I also covered in an older post), and the ability to finish a job. Children with these skills in their arsenal arrive at school ready to go. Instilling these skills in children in today's society can be extremely difficult. Why? Many adults do not even have these particular skills in abundance even though these skills are required to succeed in the adult world. These skills are not flashy. They take time and effort to instill. People in today's world want flashy and easy, which is why they are so scarce. Parents and caregivers need to begin in toddlerhood to instill these skills in children in order to be to the point they should be before entering school. However, if you have a four-year, a ten-year old or a fifty-year old, you can start the process. It just might be a little more difficult to undo entrenched bad habits.
Self-Control
I will start this discussion with self-control. The very first step to instilling self-control in children is to teach the meaning of the words "no, stop, and don't." If a child does not truly understand these words and is not capable of obeying them, he/she will not be able to tell himself/herself "no, stop, or don't." That is just common sense. This process should start when the child reaches toddlerhood. However, it can start when he/she is older. It will just take a lot more effort to undo what these words have come to mean to the child, which is usually "start the hissy fit negotiation." This process will also probably take some retraining on the part of the caregiver. You must mean "no, stop, or don't" when you say these words. You must convey that the situation is not up for negotiation at all. If you give in, you teach the child that you didn't really mean "no, stop, or don't." Do not use these words flippantly. The next step involves teaching the child to take "no" for an answer without pouting or throwing a hissy fit. At our child care we teach the children to take a deep breath and say "that's okay" when they are told "no" or do not get their way. This is not a lesson that can wait for a teachable moment. It must be taught regularly. In the heat of the moment, a child will have great difficulty following through with this without prompting until he/she has been trained in this concept for months. We teach this during character training lessons we have throughout the week and prompt it when the heat of the moment arises. It takes both types of instruction to see results. Once a child has mastered the ability to be okay with "no" for an answer, you will have accomplished teaching self-control at the preschool level.
Perseverance
The next part of the equation is perseverance. This means to keep trying in the face of difficulty. For the most part, this is a caregiver issue more than a child issue. Caregivers step in too fast and too often because it takes an enormous amount of patience to let the child do it himself/herself. I didn't say it was entirely a caregiver issue. I am quite aware of the children that sit in the floor and wail until someone does whatever for them. Establishing this skill takes everyone involved in the process to have the attitude "whatever the child can do for himself/herself, he/she will have to do." When I use the phrase "have to do," I mean that the caregiver/parent will not step in unless the child runs into technical difficulties beyond his/her abilities. This may involve hissy fits galore. Let them have at it. We have a saying at our child care and it is, "If it's hard, keep trying." This is how perseverance is taught on a preschool level.
The Behavioral Aspects of Listening
I covered the academic aspects of teaching children to listen in my previous post. Here I will discuss the behavioral aspects. How often do you as a caregiver find that you must repeat yourself multiple times to get a child's attention? If that child is older than three and has no developmental delays, you have stated your wishes way too many times. Again, this will require a caregiver to retrain himself/herself as well as the child. When you want a child to do something, the first step is to make sure the child is looking at you. Some people would say that you have to get down on a child's level, but I have not found that to be absolutely necessary. As long as I have eye contact, I expect that child to do what I say the first time. If I do not get compliance, I do not repeat myself. I ask the child to tell me what is expected. Nine times out of ten, they are fully capable of telling me what is expected. What does that tell you? Children have selective listening down to an art form. If you have eye contact, they heard you. They just chose to test and see if you really meant what you said. It is all about expectations. Children know if you don't really expect them to do it. They learn very quickly where that line is that marks where you switch from just trying to get them to do something to fully expecting them to do something. Move the line.
Following Directions
In an older post I covered the subject of following directions. Here I am just going to give a short overview of that post. This one comes down to the same bottom line as listening - expectations. We as a society have become entirely too lenient in our expectations on this subject. So many careers require precision and yet we do not expect our children to follow directions exactly. Most of the time as long as the child gets in the ballpark, we tell them "that's good enough." Then when those same children reach adulthood and can't hold down a job because they take too many liberties with their employer's instructions, we scratch our heads and wonder what went wrong. Even preschool children need some activities that have to be done exactly to specifications to begin to develop this skill. It can be as easy as a certain order a certain routine must be done such as handwashing. At my child care we have several routines that have a specific order to them including handwashing. We teach these like we teach basic rules, and we expect the children to follow these precisely.
Finish the Job
Some might say that finishing the job and perseverance are the same. I put them both on the list because in our society many times we separate effort from a completed job. This is especially true when dealing with children. As long as the child gave a good effort, we many times do not expect them to finish the job. Before I started writing this today, I read an article on New Hampshire's new education initiative. They are trying to get away from grouping children by age and grouping them instead by competencies. A child has to finish a skill before they move on to another one. They do not just count seat-time and consider that adequate. I stand up and applaud this state!!!!!!! We must begin to finish the job and teach our children to do so as well. However, a child cannot finish the job if we do not define what a finished job looks like. This is especially true in the preschool years. Let me give you an example. When the children at our facility pick-up, I check the centers to make sure they were done correctly. If I find something, I point it out and tell the children they missed something. This can be done without being snotty, and it is absolutely necessary for the children to understand what finished means. Children will define "finished" however they are allowed. Make sure you are teaching them to actually finish the job.
Two Year Olds and Developmentally Delayed
Before I finish I want to discuss two year olds and developmentally delayed children. Both of these groups require basically the same techniques when dealing with following directions and listening. These groups must be talked through routines. You will repeat yourself so many times it is maddening, but that is necessary. Keep calmly repeating each individual step until it is accomplished, and then move on to the next step. Do not move on until you have compliance. This takes a great deal of patience, but this is how you teach two year olds and developmentally delayed children to focus in all its forms. For those of you who like me have mixed-age facilities, it can be extremely difficult to change gears between two and under strategies and three and older strategies. Don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes, but do try to remember the different strategies for the different age groups.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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