Developing Character in Children

This post will deal with the nuts and bolts of developing character in children.  Like everything else worth having in this life, it takes hard work over time.  Nothing worth having is instant.

The Right Foundation
In the previous two posts I dealt with the two greatest hindrances to developing character in children - overemphasizing choices and self-esteem.  Once these two areas have been put in their proper place in the list of priorities, developing character becomes much easier.  If they are left at the top of the list of priorities, developing character will seem like it is stuck in a vicious cycle of getting nowhere.  You will essentially be creating the monster and trying to tame it all at the same time.  Therefore, step number one is to get on the right foundation.

What Is Important to You?
The next step is to decide which character qualities are most important to you and the parents you serve.    The best place to start might be a quick survey for your parents where they rank a list of qualities from most important to least important.  This exercise may greatly surprise you.  Many parents want their children to have qualities they may not necessarily possess themselves. Most parents place much more value on qualities like obedience and respect than most early childhood professionals.  Remember, these are not your children.  It is not your place to usurp the parents' authority and push an agenda off on their children.   When you choose a list of qualities to use for your survey, make sure the list you provide them is neutral in its tone.  I have seen lists of this nature that word every conservative trait in a way that makes it unappealing and every liberal trait as if it is the most desired trait in the world.  The point is to find out how your parents feel and not make them want the traits the early childhood professional world thinks is important.

Deliberate Teaching
Once you have your list of traits, you must decide how you want to go about teaching these traits.  As with anything in a preschool setting, teaching character must be a deliberate act.   It needs a time on your weekly or daily schedule to ensure that it gets done.  I have found in my setting that if I don't schedule it, it gets lost in the shuffle.  I personally do weekly character lessons that are specifically designed for that purpose.  Many of the other lessons we do cover some of the character traits, but I have the one very specific lesson that deals with one particular trait each week.  I have found this to be highly effective.  Covering only one character trait at a time is important.  Focusing on one quality helps the children to absorb what you are trying to teach them.

In teaching these lessons I have found that if I act out the opposite of how I want them to act, it has greater effect than just talking about the quality.  After I have done my exaggerated (or not so exaggerated) version of the opposite, I then demonstrate the correct way.    Children need you to model both ways.  It is not enough to just model the correct way.  They need to understand what the wrong way looks like.  They always giggle when I do my impressions of them acting in a way they shouldn't, but they get the point.  It also helps them to recognize when their friends start acting that way.  Many times I have had the children say to each other, "You are acting just like Mrs. Natalie does."  Rarely will they actually realize this themselves during the heat of the moment, but they straighten up much faster when their friends point this out to them.

Teachable Moments
Now I want to turn my attention to teachable moments.  Teachable moments are those times where circumstances give you a perfect opportunity to teach a concept on the spot.  Teachable moments are valuable, but you can't rely on teachable moments solely as the means of instilling character.  Sometimes teachable moments are few and far between.  Sometimes the moment passes before we realize it could have been used.  As teachers it is important to learn to recognize teachable moments and make the most of them, but the times of direct instruction are equally as important.  The times of direct instruction will actually help you to tune into the teachable moments and use them to reinforce what was covered in the times of direct instruction.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457