This post will start a series of posts looking at character issues from the "dark side." We live in a world that has both positive and negative forces. Trying to deal with character issues in children from strictly a positive point of view usually only touches half the problem. Unfortunately, ignoring these negative character issues or only trying to build the positive opposites of these character issues does not make them go away. We live in a fallen world, and if we want to curb these negative tendencies, we must deal with them head on.
Lazy!!!
First of all, let me confirm that I actually dared to use the word "lazy." I did not say unmotivated or slow to respond. I used the word "lazy" on purpose because it is a real condition of the soul and runs so rampant in our society it is shameful. If we are all honest, we have to confess that we all have a tendency toward laziness to some degree. Some have it worse than others, but a hard work ethic usually does not come to any of us as a birthright. A solid work ethic usually comes from a lifetime of thwarting the lazy tendencies inherent in all of us, and does not come any other way. Therefore, teaching children how to thwart their own lazy tendencies is absolutely imperative if we want this next generation to develop a work ethic of any kind.
The Definition
What exactly do I mean by lazy? Webster defines lazy as (1) disliking activity or exertion (2) encouraging idleness. I will deal with both of these aspects of laziness. I call laziness being allergic to work. If something calls for more than a little effort, the lazy will avoid it like the plague. What's funny is that sometimes people put more effort into getting out of work than the work actually requires. For example, some of the children that attended school with me cheated off of me all the time. They learned to read my handwriting upside down, sideways, and every other way from as far as 10 feet away. If they had put the same effort into studying their lessons as they did in learning my writing habits, they would have been straight "A" students. However, I guess they figured cheating was easier so they bullied me and learned how to get their answers through stealth and force. This attitude runs so prevalent through our society right now that it is sad. People will jump through all kinds of hoops or go to great lengths to get out of what they consider "hard work."
Breeding Laziness
I know there are many people who will assert that lazy people are simply unmotivated, and if you can find the right motivation, any person will work hard for you. Oh really? I am afraid I have my eyes open and have dealt with way too many people in my lifetime that are lazy to the core. All you have to do is watch some of these reality television shows to see the extent of how far people will go to get out of work. It is amazing to me that up until 50 or so years ago being lazy was shameful. Now, it is celebrated in very subtle ways throughout our culture. It has become the norm to have someone else whether that is "the rich" or the government take care of you, and these attitudes have been fully embraced by the children in our midst. This is breeding laziness in our children and a sense of entitlement, which when combined produce horrible ramifications for the both society at large and the individual children.
Stop Being an Enabler
How do we fight this tide of laziness that seems to be sweeping over our nation? Number one - stop being an enabler. For helicopter parents this is probably the hardest thing on the planet to do. However, you, as the parent or caregiver, must come face to face with the fact that you created this monster, and it falls to you to slay it. Let me tell you, when you stop being an enabler, the enabled will go off the deep end at first. For preschool children, they will throw hissy fits and temper tantrums unparalleled to anything you have ever seen. The viciousness that will come from the enabled once the enabling stops will rip your heart out and make you feel like the most worthless person on the planet. Do not underestimate the lengths an enabled child will go to remain enabled. This holds true whether they are 2 or 50. However, you must stop doing their work for them, period.
Make Them Do for Themselves
Once you have stopped doing it for them, the next step is to find a way to make them do it themselves. My favorite tactic for 3 and 4 year olds is to set up the situation in such a way that they will miss out on something if they do not hurry up and finish. This can also work for smart 2 year olds. Pick-up time is always a battle anywhere children live. I give the children here a certain amount of time to pick up their area, and then I move on without them. This works for about 50% of the children nowadays. However, I am noticing that the degree of the laziness kicks up every single year now. More and more children are requiring tougher and tougher measures. My plea to parents of young children is this - make your child pick up after themselves so that I as a caregiver do not have to kick your child out of childcare because of the hissy fits pick-up time brings out in your children. This is ridiculous. Do not make excuses for your children. Understand that this is laziness pure and simple. Do something about it.
The Difference between Work and Play
Finally, I want to touch on a subject that is very much taboo in our culture, and that is teaching children the difference between work and play. Many early childhood professionals would absolutely go into spasms if they heard me talk to the children here about work and play. I teach the children here that work is something that must be done whether you like it or not and whether you want to or not. Work is a no choice proposition. How have we gotten so far from our roots that I have to fear being tarred and feathered for trying to teach children what it means to have a work ethic? I am so sorry if that offends your sensibilities, but that is the definition of a work ethic. The work is done before anything else and it is done without fail. This is how successful people function and living otherwise produces pitiful results in your life. This is a truth that cannot be ignored or gotten around, and we must begin to teach this to our children again if we want to have a thriving society.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!!
Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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