Teaching Children to Be Peacemakers

This post will look into how to teach children to be peacemakers.  In order to be peacemakers, however, they must first learn to be at peace.  Being at peace involves self-acceptance and contentment.  We will look into helping children to be at peace with themselves and others, and then how to help others to be at peace with themselves and others.

The Definition of a Peacemaker
Webster defines peace as (1) a state of calm and quiet and (2) freedom from disturbing thoughts and emotions.  Peacemaker is defined as one who settles an argument or stops a fight.  Many people do not often consider that it requires a peaceful person to step in and act as a peacemaker.  Have you ever encountered a person that relishes in drama trying to stop an argument or stop a fight?  What happens?  Most of the time the argument escalates or the fight gets completely out of hand.  A peacemaker must possess a calm and peaceful demeanor in order to step into a situation and promote calm.  A person that has out-of-control emotions cannot possibly help another person bring his/her emotions under control.

Emotional Intelligence
One of the biggest pushes recently in the early childhood field has been to promote emotional intelligence.  This has probably been one of the best movements to come down the pike in years.  However, most of the time the parents need this instruction worse than the children.  Many of the millennials have a hard time with controlling their emotions.  Don't believe me?  Cross someone under the age of 25 and see how fast things escalate.  They truly have a hard time understanding the consequences of their negative emotions.  As an early childhood provider, it is difficult to teach emotional intelligence to children raised by parents with little emotional intelligence.  Sometimes it feels like we are trying to raise two generations at the same time, and many times we are put in that situation. We have to train parents as much as we train children.  This is one of the biggest reasons early childhood professionals burn out in just a few years.  It is also something that seems to be growing worse with every passing year causing many long-time childhood professionals to retire.  For me personally, I have become very picky about the children I take.  If a parent walks in and there is drama within 15 minutes, I send that parent packing.  Drama spreads like gangrene, and maybe I am just getting too old to deal with it anymore.

What exactly is emotional intelligence?  It involves having an understanding of the different emotions and how to control those emotions.  It is not enough to just know about emotions.  Many activities for preschoolers fall into this category.  They simply teach the children about the different emotions, but that constitutes half of what makes up emotional intelligence.  That would be like getting a 50 out of 100 on a test.  This produces children who will scream at you at the top of their lungs that they are angry.  They have the right emotion, but do not know how to control that emotion.  This is the problem millennials have.  They are in touch with how they feel, and they feel everyone should know about it in every way possible.  They let their emotions rule them instead of learning to rule over their emotions.  We must do better with this next generation, and in the process, teach their parents what emotional intelligence looks like as well.

Basic Anger Management
A great deal of the instruction I do with my children is basic anger management techniques.  I teach them to take deep breaths when they feel their emotions getting out of control.  I have a place for them to go to calm down when they are upset.  We talk about how to handle different scenarios especially those where the child has to deal with not getting his/her way.  This is probably the most important lesson a preschooler can learn.  The second most important lesson a preschooler can learn is how to pull back when they are becoming overstimulated.  However, many times adults have to step in to help children when this happens.  With so many American children being diagnosed with ADD and ADHD, this skill has become of the utmost importance, and yet I have witnessed parents and caregivers with very little understanding of overstimulation.  They have no idea why the children in their care are aggressive and completely out of control.  A child becomes overstimulated when they go too long without rest or quiet activity.  This can happen when children do not nap.  It can also happen when children are allowed to run wild most of the day.  Children need times of quiet activity to reset their brain.  We are raising adrenaline junkies that have trouble sleeping and controlling their behavior.  It is important to teach children that quiet play is as important as loud rowdy play and help them to have a good mix of both during their day.

In the Early Childhood World
Now we come to the point where teaching children to be a peacemaker comes into play.  When children have good emotional intelligence and understand how to keep themselves from becoming overstimulated, they will naturally help their peers to be more peaceful.  They will tell their friends to calm down.  They will emulate you if you have done your job well in training them to take deep breaths when they are upset.  Nothing is cuter than watching a 4 year old tell a friend that is upset to stop, take 3 deep breaths, and calm down.  It is like watching a future counselor in the making.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457