Teaching Children to Be Generous

This post will deal with teaching children the joy of giving.  Being a generous person, however, means more than just sharing material goods.  I will deal with both sides of this character trait.

The Definition of Generous
Webster defines generous as 1. free in giving and sharing 2. high-minded, noble 3. abundant, ample, . . openhanded.  I will look at the first two definitions here.  Most people consider the first definition of generous most of the time.  When we think about a person being generous, we imagine someone being "free in giving and sharing."  However, the definition of being high-minded and noble does not normally come to mind.  I am an avid reader of medieval literature, and this concept is easier to picture when you think of a benevolent lord.  A benevolent ruler takes care of those in his charge and makes sure everyone is amply supplied.  This, too, is a definition of generous.

Overindulging Children
This time of year brings out the generous in most everyone.  This season has ample opportunities to share and give freely.  However, for children this time of year can be a very selfish time, and for them, it is more about what am I going to get rather than what can I share and give.  The blame for this does not fall on the children.  We give them more presents than they could possibly need and wonder why they do not really appreciate any of it.  I do not know whether we as the adults are trying to live vicariously through our children and make up for lean years we experienced, or if we just simply do not have self-control when it comes to Christmas for the children.  Whichever is the case, we do our children no favors by overindulging them.  If you do not want your children to be selfish and greedy, you might want to consider less for Christmas.

The Youth Camp Lesson
At this point I want to share one of the best life lessons I ever learned at a youth camp.  This particular game was sprung on all of us unexpectedly at lunch one day.  Each of us was handed an envelope containing play money.  Some of us received a lot, some received about half of that, some of us received very little, and some received nothing.  Then we had to use the money to buy our lunch.  Those with a lot bought their lunch and went on as if nothing happened.  The ones who had received half of what the first group received, bought our lunch and complained because it was not enough.  The ones with very little bought what they could and shared with those who had nothing.  The first two groups did not share at all.  I was in the group that received half, and when our youth director pointed out that the ones with little shared with the ones with none, I was the most ashamed of myself I think I have ever been.  Some of the ones that shared were not known for their generosity, but something about that exercise brought out the generousness in them.  What is the lesson in this exercise?  I truly believe the biggest lesson is for the middle of the road group.  We all expect the haves to be selfish, but the somewhat haves can be just as selfish as the haves.  The have littles and the have nots often tend to be the most generous people in the world.  Why?  I think it is because they have learned the secret of making do with what they have, or they have learned to do without and be okay.  Those are two of the most valuable lessons in this world.

"I've Been There
Being generous is so much more than supplying someone from our excess.  Actually, sometimes we can come off as snobby when we do that even if we mean to do good.  Being generous is more about understanding what someone needs because you have been there yourself.  For example, I have had some of my parents write me bad checks unknowingly.  Every time that has happened, I have been reminded of when I made that very mistake, and I treated them just like I wanted to be treated in the same situation.  That one thing alone has won me some extremely loyal customers.  Many people do not necessarily think about that as being generous, but it is.  I was generous with my understanding as well as my money since I had to wait patiently for their payment sometimes.  This is where the high-minded and nobleness comes into being generous.  When we treat people as we would want to be treated in the same situation, we apply generousness to the situation in more ways than one.  This is the type of generousness that needs to spread the whole year and not just at Christmastime.

Doing Without and the Golden Rule
How does this come down to the early childhood world?  Number one, we need to teach children to do without and be okay with that.  I do believe that is probably the greatest way to teach a child to be generous because the child will actually have a concept of what it means to do without something.  We cannot have empathy for someone if we have absolutely no concept of what it means to be in his/her circumstances.  When a child understands what it means to have to be without something even if it is just for a little while, that child's giving can come from a deeper place.  It will mean more to that child.  Number two, teach children the Golden Rule and reinforce it every single opportunity that you get.  When children grow up following the Golden Rule as a lifestyle, then they will become a community of people that promote a generous culture.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457