The Pains of Pick-up Time
I don't know about you, but the hardest part of my day is pick-up time. It may be because I have two toddlers at the moment, which is probably the most challenging age for this issue. It may also be because over half the children in my childcare at the moment fall into the 25% of children that do not respond to the conventional means of dealing with this issue.
Conventional Solutions
Let's talk about the conventional solutions. Number one, make pick-up times a part of the normal everyday routine. This is an important aspect. Pick-up times should occur in your schedule around the same times everyday. This helps the children to anticipate the pick-up times because they are a part of the natural flow of everyday. Number two, have some sort of transition to help the children switch gears. This can be a song that signals it's time to pick-up or a 5-minute warning before it is time to pick-up or both. These, too, are important. It is difficult for some preschool children to transition from one activity to the next. Number three, make pick-up time fun. This is the one that can backfire. This is the one the 25% complicate. If pick-up time is turned into too much of a game, these children play instead of pick-up. I experienced this first hand when I tried out a new pick-up song. I had been using the tried and true Barney Clean-up song, and tried a song that had guitars and a driving beat. All I got was dancing and absolutely no picking up whatsoever. I went back to the tried and true.
The Importance of Consistency
As I said, these conventional means of dealing with this issue work for about 75% of the children. However, even with the 75% it takes consistency and 3 to 6 months of training the children to actually get good results. That is often the one aspect of this problem no one ever mentions. There is no "magic" solution for this issue. These solutions may have immediate results for about 2 weeks, and then the children try to revert back to their old ways. You have to stay after this issue day after day enduring hissy fits and temper tantrums for 3 to 6 months with most children to have them trained to pick-up without a fuss. Some children take longer and some children fall into the 25%.
The Biggest Mistake Providers Make
Before I deal with the 25%, I want to talk about the biggest mistake many providers make with this issue. In order to avoid the hissy fits and temper tantrums, many providers pick up most or all of the mess themselves. This seems an innocent alternative until you take into account the long-term consequences. You see, I was a child in the 25%. I was very good at looking busy while I let everyone else pick up. If you cornered me on the issue, I would break down into a crying fit. The adults in my life picked up for me or let other children pick up my mess to avoid my meltdowns. Did those adults do me any favors? Absolutely not. Instead of conquering this issue as a child, I was allowed to continue until adulthood being very good at getting out of work I found unpleasant. It is 1000% harder to correct this kind of self-discipline problem as an adult or even teenager. I would have been worse had it not been for my third grade teacher. She was strict but fair and very adept at handling very smart, lazy children. She outsmarted me and divided jobs in such a way that I could not avoid doing them. She also outsmarted my crying fits. She made those cost me in a way that no other person had. On a daily basis she treated me like I could handle anything, until I decided to try to manipulate her with a crying fit. Then she just ignored me until I was done and asked me if I was ready to do what needed to be done. She never coddled me, and for that I am eternally grateful. She never let me get away with anything and made me believe that nothing I set my mind to was impossible. This is the key to the 25%.
The 25%
Usually the 25% fall in the extremes of the normal distribution. In other words, they fall in the extremely smart or the developmentally delayed. Both extremes have to be handled in different ways. For the developmentally delayed and normally developing children, most of the time the issue is that the whole job overwhelms them. You tell them to pick up, and they cannot process where to begin. Instead of telling these children to pick up, you will need to direct them to a single toy and tell them to put that up. Then direct them to another single toy and so on and so on. This can be exhausting especially if you have more than one child that requires this. However, know that eventually normally developing children will soon start picking up on their own. You just have to prime the pump, and then they take over. For children on the autistic spectrum, you may have to use this technique constantly. These children overwhelm easily and have to have jobs broken down into small parts. This is also a great technique to use with toddlers and twos unless they are extremely smart.
The Extremely Smart
For the extremely smart, you must outsmart them. These are the master manipulators. You must do what my third grade teacher did, and find a way to divide the work in such a way that a certain amount of the work is theirs alone. Most of the time, pick-up times fall in the schedule right before another activity. For these children one of the best ways to handle this situation is to assign everyone a certain amount of toys to pick up and when they are done, they can proceed to the next activity. Of course, you must be wise and make sure that the following activity is something to where it is possible to leave a child having a temper fit while the rest of the children do the activity. You must also be wise and not leave a large amount for the child to do the first time. The ensuing hissy fit that will occur the first time you try this will be monumental. However, stand your ground. If the child is extremely stubborn you may proceed to several activities before the child decides this is costing them too much and complies. If you find yourself in this situation, revert to the method of the one toy after each activity and see if you cannot prime the pump. However, do not be surprised if this method does not work. Unfortunately, I know from personal experience from my own childhood and from raising a gifted child, that the first day may be completely unpleasant for everyone involved. However, the second day will go much better. These children aren't stupid. When they see that you mean business, they will learn where the line is and never fully cross it again. They may try you from time to time just to make sure your resolve has not weakened, but if the line is set in stone, they will respect it. For the children on the extreme ends firm boundaries are completely important. Of course, do not ignore the other side of what my third grade teacher did. You must on a daily basis teach these kids that they can do anything they set their mind to. That includes picking up their toys.
Stay After It
This is an aspect of being a childcare provider that does not produce any warm fuzzies. Having to be so consistent with it can try every ounce of your patience. It is also one of the most thankless parts of the business. Many parents don't care if you teach their children to pick up. They do not understand the importance. However, kindergarten teachers will think you hung the moon if you consistently send them children who have developed self-help skills. Also understand that you have laid a foundation for that child to become a responsible adult. That is what we do. We lay foundations and sometimes the only thanks we get is stars in our crown.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
This is an aspect of being a childcare provider that does not produce any warm fuzzies. Having to be so consistent with it can try every ounce of your patience. It is also one of the most thankless parts of the business. Many parents don't care if you teach their children to pick up. They do not understand the importance. However, kindergarten teachers will think you hung the moon if you consistently send them children who have developed self-help skills. Also understand that you have laid a foundation for that child to become a responsible adult. That is what we do. We lay foundations and sometimes the only thanks we get is stars in our crown.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at: https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457
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