Difficult Parents

This post is going to deal with this subject in a way that you may never have seen.  I will deal with it from two very different perspectives - the not-for-profit centers and the for-profit centers or homes.  These two types of childcare providers have very different functions and very different realities.  They should approach difficult parents in completely different ways.

The Not-for-Profit Crowd
Most of the advice given for dealing with difficult parents actually is designed for the not-for-profit crowd.  These providers are basically public servants providing a public service.  For the most part, they must take whoever comes through the door or they risk facing discrimination charges.  Like public school teachers, they have to deal with difficult parents.  For these providers, the best advice is to try to build partnerships with the parents.  It is in their best interest to go the extra mile to try to win over the most difficult parents.  Most of these programs are designed to serve those children that are disadvantaged or have special needs.  It is part of their mission, and very often their funding depends on how well they carry out that mission.  Dealing with difficult parents just comes with the territory.

For-Profit Centers and Homes
On the other hand, we have for-profit centers and homes.  These types of provider are first and foremost businesses that are designed to be a source of income for the owner(s).  Many times, especially with family child care homes, these businesses are extremely vulnerable to lawsuits and slander.  This changes the landscape for these types of childcare providers.  The most valuable commodity that these small businesses have are their reputations.  Most of their clients come to them through word-of-mouth referrals.  It only takes one petty, spiteful person to completely ruin a business that a person has worked years to build.  That puts difficult parents in a completely different category.

The Right Fit
Many experts advise parents to carefully find a provider that is the right fit for them and their child(ren).  However, the right fit needs to go both ways.  You as a provider in a for-profit venture cannot really afford to take everything that comes through the door.  New families should fit your program as much as you fit their expectations.  To have anything otherwise is to invite trouble that you as a small business owner cannot really afford.  I know this is difficult at times especially if you have had an opening for a while.  However, it only takes one toxic relationship to really mess up a small program.  You must take into consideration the children you already have.  If you invite a toxic situation into their world, you will make everyone miserable.

A Probationary Period
Therefore, it is absolutely essential that providers put a probationary period in their contracts where either party can cancel without explanation.  I call this the "no-fault divorce clause."  I would recommend that it be at least 30 days and would be better if it were 90 days.  Most people can fool someone for a couple of weeks, but will usually show their true colors within 30 days.  However, it is the rare person who can manage to go 90 days without showing their true self.  I understand that having a probationary period where both parties can cancel without two-week notice may result in some turnover.  Before you let yourself become frustrated over it, just think of it as your screening process.  If they don't last 90 days, you didn't need their money that badly.  Also, the first time you get to remove that person that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand straight up every time they walk in the door, you will find your probationary clause the greatest stroke of genius you have ever put into practice.

From the Heart
Now let me talk to you from the heart.  Most of us who do this job think of ourselves as public servants even though we are business owners.  It is just not in some of us to turn anybody away.  However, we live in a lawsuit-happy culture, and we just cannot afford to be naive.  We are told over and over that the sign of a true professional is someone who can turn around the most difficult client.  We all buy that until we become the victim of false accusations and/or slander.  Then we realize too late that we as for-profit businesses must live by different rules than those who are not-for-profit.  The sign of a true professional and business person is one who has the foresight and wisdom to protect their reputation at all costs.  When your reputation is taken from you, you may never get it back.  This happens much more often than I ever dreamed.  You cannot tell yourself that it will never happen to me.  Actually in this society, if you don't take precautions, it's not a matter of if but when.  Too many people get their kicks from tearing other people down.  If you are successful, that puts a huge target on your back as far as those people are concerned.  Many people would rather destroy what you have built rather than try to build something of their own.  I wish that was not the case, but unfortunately it is.  As I said before, you must, MUST protect your reputation at all costs.

Well, you might say what do I do with the difficult parents I already have?  The "no-fault divorce clause" is fine for new clients, but I have parents that make my life miserable now.  For those, repeat after me, "If you are unhappy with my services, please feel free to find a program that is a better fit for you and your family."  Repeat this phrase until it comes out fluently and frequently.  Either this family will heed your advice and find another program, or they will decide that you are not so bad and stop complaining.  Either way, it makes your world happier.

As business owners we must understand that we will never please everyone.  Our programs have an unique atmosphere and environment, which is what gives us our "niche" in the market.  Let that "niche" determine your clientele.  Also, don't take it personally when a family is not the right fit for your program.  That family might be perfectly happy with the program down the street because that place's "niche" fits them.  It doesn't make them evil.  Difficult parents at one place can be happy parents at a different place.  However, there are those people who are difficult for everyone.  Steer those people toward not-for-profit places, which might be a little better equipped to handle them.

I hope you have enjoyed this post.  Goodbye and God bless!! Check out Natalie's children's books at:  https://www.amazon.com/author/nataliewade7457